What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?
by SaraLyleth
Summary: My version of season 3. What happens when Jude falls apart after Tommy left but doesn't stick around to pick up the pieces. Tommy left, so why can't she? R and R please.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everybody, you might know me from my other two stories Hit The Wall and Anyone But You but if not, then welcome to a whole new story. For those of you who are wondering about finishing out my trilogy, I am working on it. But this idea came to me and it's not leaving me alone. Now I wrote this whole chapter in like half an hour and then came back later to re-read it and I just can't believe how much I like it. So I hope you like it to. Please read and review. Thanks a bunch!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own instant star, though I wish I did. :)**

**This is a story about what happens if Jude left Toronto to. She doesn't know what she's doing, she's hurt, angry and going just a little crazy. What happens when Tommy comes back to find his girl gone and no one knows where she's gone? Will they get their happily ever after? Hmmm I wonder...**

**Chapter 1**

Have you ever heard the saying 'when it rains, it pours'? Well if you haven't, it basically means that if something bad is happening, many bad things will happen at once. But not even I could have predicted the amount of trouble I was going to be in.

Now I could sit here, on this Greyhound and tell you that Tommy is the person to blame for all my problems. If he hadn't left, I never would have left my CD release party to drive a hundred miles to be with Mason. I also wouldn't have drank to the point of oblivion and let myself fall into the hands of a pervert and blackmailer. But it wasn't his fault. He'd never made any promises to me. It was my own damn heart that had gotten its hopes up. I let myself believe that this time it would be different. That he wouldn't hand me the world and then pull the rug out from under me. But some things will never change; and Tom Quincy is one of them.

Darius had been furious when I'd come back but then he'd gone from furious to ecstatic. My song was at number one. My album was well on its way and we were finally going places. I was on my way. He'd sent me home to get some much needed sleep and to take a couple days off. We had a tour to plan and he had a producer to locate. Seems he also had no clue where Little Tommy Q. had run off to.

So for three days I stayed away from G Major. I barely left my room. My dad wasn't home, he may have bought the house and said we were going to be a family again but the reality was he spent more time with Yvette then he did at home. Oh and don't let me get started on Sadie. She worked a full week at G Major and she was going to school. So we maybe saw each other in passing. Which was fine. I had so many thoughts running in my head that I needed to be alone.

I locked myself away in my room with my guitar and my new journal, my birthday present from Tommy. But I couldn't even produce a line, a hook, a damn chorus. It's like all the creativity that I had, had vanished along with him. He had not only taken my heart when he left, he took my ability to be Jude Harrison, singer/songwriter extraordinaire.

So I dreaded walking into G Major the next morning. I knew Darius was going to be mad when I told him that I think I needed a longer break. When Sadie walked out of Liam's office and stopped to stare at me in shock, I knew I should have showered and changed my clothes before meeting Darius. I just couldn't find the energy to care about my appearance anymore.

When she grabbed my arm and drug me into the ladies room, I knew I was in for a lecture. "Jude what are you doing looking like that?" She asked turning on the water in the sink.

I looked into the mirror and couldn't believe that I looked so pathetic. My hair was beyond greasy and limp. It didn't even look like real hair anymore; and my eyes, I had dark circles under my eyes. Now I'm not talking the circles you see after missing a night sleep, I'm talking raccoon eyes. I looked like I had two days worth of eyeliner and mascara under my eyes. I looked scary.

"Have you even changed your clothes since Monday?" she asked running her hands through my hair. I watched her grimace when my hair just stayed where it was.

I closed my eyes and thought back. I'd started my break on Sunday and then Monday was the last time I had saw Sadie, right before she'd headed to G Major for work. Tuesday I didn't leave my room except for two bathroom breaks and then I guess Wednesday I finally ate a piece of toast. So that must make today Thursday, so I shook my head slowly to answer her question and watched her eyes widen in horror.

"You've been wearing this since Monday!" she yelled motioning to the red sweatpants and black t-shirt I had on.

"Actually, Sunday afternoon," I said softly looking at myself in the mirror once again. I did look pretty disgusting. Darius wasn't going to be thrilled but once again, I couldn't drum up the energy to care. I took a deep breath before walking out of the bathroom ignoring Sadie when she told me I was going to regret this. She had no idea.

I knocked once on Darius's door before just walking in. I was surprised to find him sitting behind his desk flipping through a stack of what looked like photographs. It was a work day; he usually was making some poor artists life miserable by taking away the studio, their producer, or their contract.

"You got some mail today Jude," Darius said handing me a manila envelope. I looked at the address and was surprised to see no return address.

"I don't know why they sent it here," I said confused. Nobody ever sent me anything at G Major.

"Oh I do," Darius said tossing the photographs down on his desk. "But before we get to that reason, is there anything you want to tell me about the night of your CD release party. Did anything out of the ordinary happen?"

"Um…no," I said even more confused. I was exhausted and wasn't really looking forward to Darius's games. "Darius, I told you everything that happened that night. I had too much to drink and slept it off in Mason's bus. I woke up when Jamie got there and then I came back like the nice little artist I am."

"Well, if that's all that happened, can you please explain these?" he asked handing me some of the photographs.

I squinted at the first one, the focus was bad but I still could tell it was a picture of me and it was taken that night but I couldn't make out anything else. "A fan took a couple pictures and sent them to me?" I asked slowly as I looked at the next one before I dropped the first photograph. "Or not," I whispered.

No fan of mine could have possibly taken this picture. No, only some sick, perverted person would take a picture of me when I was drunk like that. I wanted to groan when Darius handed me more. I flipped through them, each photograph making me closer to throwing up the non-existent food in my stomach. No, he hadn't just taken photos of me drunk but he'd stripped away my innocence along with my clothes. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the guy I had thought so sweet and kind had definitely taken advantage of the situation.

"Do those pictures ring any bells?" Darius asked as I set the photographs back on his desk.

"Well, not exactly, since you can tell from the photos I wasn't exactly conscious when they were taken," I said just as coldly. I began pacing back and forth. All I could think about was finding the jackass and ripping his balls off for taking advantage of me.

"How could you let this happen?" Darius asked after a moment of silence.

"Let this happen!" I yelled. "I didn't let anything happen. I was hurt and angry Darius. I got drunk, I partied with a guy I thought was cute and he seemed harmless. He offered to help me to Mason's bus because I could barely walk. That's the last thing I remember," I said not surprised to find my eyes tearing up. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and sat back down.

Okay, I've had some horrible things happen to me in my life. Shay, my dad, Tommy to name a few. But I've never felt so violated in my life. I actually felt dirty even though in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't my fault. I hadn't asked for this but common sense wasn't exactly forthcoming at the moment. All I could think about was what the bastard was going to ask for. He obviously had a plan and I was just a pawn in his game. Once again, somebody was going to take advantage of my stupidity. I really had to grow up.

"What's he want?" I asked.

"50,000 dollars or he's taking them to the press," Darius said still sitting in his chair. He looked oddly relaxed for somebody who'd just been dealt a huge blow. He had to know I didn't have 50,000 dollars to pay this guy. After Sadie spending most of my money and my studio, I was pretty broke.

"I don't have that," I said clenching both my hands into fists.

"Believe me when I say, I know that," Darius said sarcastically. He leaned forward and got a glint in his eyes and I knew I wasn't going to like what he was going to say. "I'm sorry Jude but G Major is going to have to let you go for awhile."

"You're firing me!" I said my voice squeaking. Okay, I wasn't expecting that.

"Not exactly, more like you're being laid off," Darius said standing up. "I will have my hands full trying to find this guy and doing damage control."

"What damage control?" I asked confused.

"He's already released a photo to the press, we just don't know which one," Darius explained. "I think this will be good for you anyways, you are obviously not doing that well," he added motioning to my outfit and appearance.

I rolled my eyes. My appearance should be the least of our concerns. I was about to be made into a public scandal which wasn't good. "What exactly am I suppose to do?" I asked finally.

"Stay home, go to your family's cabin, write songs for your next album, if there's a next album," Darius said casually throwing that out there. I knew he was just letting me know if I screwed up anymore, I was done at G Major.

"Fine," I said standing up and walking towards the door.

"And Jude, do not talk to the press and if this guy calls you, don't answer the phone," Darius said picking up his phone.

I didn't bother answering as I just slammed Darius's door. Sadie and Kwest were waiting for me but I just held up a hand and walked out of G Major for what was going to be the last time in a long time. At this point, I had no idea what I was going to do. I was seriously thinking about just going to the cabin and getting away but as I climbed into my Mustang I realized I didn't want to go there. I didn't want to go home; I didn't want to be in Toronto. I wanted out. Maybe not forever but I couldn't stay here anymore. There wasn't anything worth staying for, nobody would seriously miss me.

I drove home on auto pilot and ran upstairs and packed a duffle bag in record time. I didn't pack much, I didn't know how long I was going to be gone and I didn't know exactly where I was going. I grabbed my guitar and my journal, who knew, maybe a road trip to nowhere was exactly what I needed to write again.

I called cab knowing that if they decided to look for me, if I took my car, it would just make it that much easier for them; and I didn't want to make anything easy for them. I climbed into the cab and within twenty minutes I was at the Greyhound station. I walked up to the window and looked at the destinations I had to choose from. New York City was the only one that jumped out at me.

And that's how I got here, on the bus staring out the window using stupid sayings like 'when it rains, it pours'. But it truly did, first I couldn't write anything, second I had those damn pictures floating around, who knew how many copies the jackass had made and then I got laid off. I was fast becoming the Instant Star that crashed and burned after two years.

I stared out the window at the passing scenery and knew that Darius was right. I needed to get away. Okay, he hadn't exactly meant leaving the country but when did I ever do anything half way. As the bus got farther and farther away, the easier it was to breath. When we passed into the United States I smiled for the first time in a long time. Who knows, maybe this wasn't going to be a break, maybe I would just stay in New York. I needed a change, this could be it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for all the reviews. I couldn't believe I got so many responses. Here is the next update, I hope it doesn't disappoint. I'm trying to set the scene and storyline so I hope you like it. :)**

**Chapter 2**

Sadie's POV

"I told you I'd be there," I said rolling my eyes as I unlocked the front door. Liam was once again calling me about going on another business dinner. "I don't know what else you want me to say. I had to come home to check on Jude. Um…because she was really upset when she left G Major yesterday and this is the first chance I have had to check on her. It's my lunch hour, what I do with it is my business. I'll be there."

I hung up the phone as he yammered on about the dinner. I knew what I had to do, wine and dine. It was sad to say but I was made for the role he had me playing. I was great at making useless conversation and flattering old guys out of their money. I just wish I could go to the dinner with anybody but Liam. He was such an insufferable asshole.

"Jude!" I yelled up the stairs.

"She's locked in her room," somebody said from behind me.

I whipped around and held my hand over my heart. "You scared the crap out of me Dad," I said taking deep breaths to calm myself down. I followed him into the kitchen and wanted to groan at the mess I saw there. It seemed that the little mini vacation Jude had taken earlier this week didn't include cleaning up after herself. There was trash everywhere and the sink was full of dishes.

"She can't clean up after herself," I muttered setting my purse down on the counter.

"Sorry Sade's but I think most of this mess is mine," Stuart said wincing as he too took in the mess. "I have been so busy that I just haven't had time to do any cleaning."

"It's alright Dad, I'll clean it up," I said smiling even though inside I wanted to scream. I was working a full-time job and going to school. He never seemed to be doing anything but yet, he still expected to be waited on. I wonder if Yvette cleaned up all his messes at her place.

"Thanks Sadie," he said grabbing his wallet and cell phone off the counter. He gave me a quick hug before he left the kitchen and I heard the front door open and close.

Sometimes I hated being the peace maker of the family. Jude loved to call me the drama queen and attention stealer but in reality, I just tried to keep the peace. Jude was always flying off the handle and my parents aren't exactly the most even tempered people in the world. It's not surprise that Jude and I have a hard time getting along.

"Jude," I called as I headed up the stairs. Darius had asked me to check on her yesterday but after a full day of school and work, I had come home and climbed into bed. But today, even I was worried about her. It wasn't normal for Jude to stay away from G Major for so long. Darius would eventually want to know where she is and why she's not working, so once again I was going to make peace and get her cleaned up. I should get an award for best sister or something.

"Jude," I said while knocking on her door. I put my ear to door but there wasn't even a peep coming from the other side of the door. I tired the door handle and smiled when it opened. If Jude was really pissed off about something, she'd lock the door. So she was only angry, which I could handle.

Her room was its normal pig sty. Clothes, books, shoes and other unidentifiable objects everywhere; the only neat part was her CD collection and she was anal about that. You weren't allowed to touch unless she gave you permission. I loved teasing her about her one neurosis.

There was one thing missing from her room and that was Jude herself. But I wasn't surprised to find her gone. She was probably at Jamie's. I jumped when I heard somebody banging on the front door. I muttered as I hurried down the stairs. There was a doorbell people, use it!

"What!" I yelled as I opened the door. "Jamie, can you not see the doorbell?" I asked sarcastically.

He mumbled something but he was breathing so hard I couldn't understand a word.

"Breath moron," I said rolling my eyes. "Did you run all the way over here?" When he nodded I shook my head, Jamie was not athletic in any sense of the word. Running across the street was probably more exercise than he'd gotten all year. "Sorry to disappoint, Jude's not here."

"I know that," he finally got out after he sat down on our front steps.

I don't know what suddenly made me tense and turn around and look up the stairs. Maybe it was the tone of Jamie's voice but I knew what he was going to say before he said it. "She ran away."

"She's run away," Jamie said at the same time. He stood up and glared at me. "How can you stand there all calmly if you knew? She's only 17; she shouldn't be on her own. Have you even notified the police or called your parents?"

"Jamie, take a pill and tell me how you found out," I interrupted him.

"She called me," he said confused. "How'd you know?"

"I just guessed," I said before heading back up the stairs. I grabbed the phone in the hallway before I walked back into Jude's room.

"Dad, it's Sadie," I said wanting to scream when I got his voicemail. "Jude's gone; she called Jamie and told him she's running away. It had to have been last night, she was here all alone. Call me Dad, I'm worried."

"Didn't answer, no surprise there," Jamie said shaking his head in disgust.

"What did she say?" I asked mentally cataloging everything I knew to be missing from her room. Her picture that never left her bedside table. The dog stuffed animal Dad had bought her on her birthday years ago. Her guitar and journal were missing from their usual perch on her desk.

"It's in my voicemail," Jamie said dialing. "Here, listen."

"Hey Jamie, its Jude. Listen, I didn't want everybody to worry and I know I can count on you to keep calm." I snorted at that because he'd practically died early from running over hear in a panic. "I need to get away, to breathe. Darius has laid me off as he put it so G Major won't miss me. I know you don't want to hear this but with Tommy…gone. I just need to be gone too. Maybe someday I'll come back but I don't know. I think this will be good for me. So don't worry, I'm going to be okay. I love you Jamie."

"She didn't even mention anyone else," I mumbled quietly not surprised to find my tears filling up. So yeah, we didn't get along, half the time we tried to insult each other to death. But she still was my sister, my underage sister who had run away to God knows where.

"She's hurting Sadie," Jamie said softly. "I don't think anybody realized how close she'd gotten with Mr. MIA."

"I'm so going to kill him," I said through clenched teeth. "This would be his fault. I should have known that he would move onto her as soon as he could. She has no defenses when it comes to him."

"She's in love with him Sadie, you were to," Jamie said walking back down the stairs. He stopped in the kitchen and sat down at the table. "Now I think it's time we called the police."

"She's a runaway now, they won't do much," I said sadly but dialing the non emergency line anyway. "I just wish Mom was here." Jamie nodded his agreement. My mom was the one you called in emergencies, she was calm and rational. She would know what to do and probably have Jude back in Toronto by next week. But that Mom no longer existed. No we get the Mom who takes off and leaves her children to marry her divorce lawyer and see the world.

I would never say this to Jude's face but maybe having her gone would be good for our family. We were all doing okay before she won that competition. Maybe we were all a bit delusional but at least we were happy. Now our parents were divorced, Dad living with his new woman, Mom married her new guy, I was a teenager forced to be an adult and Jude was gone. So maybe this would be a blessing in disguise.

But when I answered the door so we could give the police our statement, I burst into tears. Maybe we did fight a lot and maybe her winning that damn contest did open a can of worms but I wanted her back. She was funny, talented and the best sister I could have asked for. Besides, all she had to do was ask and I would have run away with her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everybody, once again, thank you for all the reviews. I love reading them and you are constantly making me smile. The more reviews, the faster I type the next chapter so review some more. :) Here's the latest update, I hope you all like it. SaraLyleth**

**Chapter 3**

"Hey Jamie, its Jude. Listen, I didn't want everybody to worry and I know I can count on you to keep calm." I took a deep breath before continuing. This was one of the hardest phone calls I've ever had to make. "I need to get away, to breathe. Darius has laid me off as he put it so G Major won't miss me. I know you don't want to hear this but with Tommy…gone. I just need to be gone too. Maybe someday I'll come back but I don't know. I think this will be good for me. So don't worry, I'm going to be okay. I love you Jamie."

I hung up my cell phone and took one last look at it before tossing it into the trash can in the bus stations bathroom. That was my last tie to my old life and I needed to make a clean break. I didn't want to listen to my phone ringing when the inevitable phone calls came begging for my return. I didn't want to listen to voice mails with anger or tears; I didn't want to feel guilty. Maybe I'm being selfish but as I walked out onto the street and looked around New York, I didn't care.

My whole life I've wanted to be a musician. It's what I dreamed about late at night when other kids were dreaming of being princess or president. At Christmas I would beg my parents for the new guitar that would take me to new places instead of a Barbie dream house or a chemistry set. I can't explain how much it hurt to know that my ability to write music, to sing music was gone…over a boy.

Okay so he wasn't just any boy, he was the boy. He wasn't what I pictured for myself when I had imagined who I fell in love with, an ex-boy bander with an attitude problem. Who had have thought he was the musical genius who would inspire me to be more than I ever thought I could be? Not me, that was for sure.

I still can't believe he's gone. That he would leave like that, with no explanation just a goodbye. I still ask myself why he asked me out if he was going to leave. I can't believe he'd do it on purpose; something had to have happened to make him leave like that. But why he couldn't have told me, I was his best friend, he can tell me anything.

I was so lost in my thoughts I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going and literally walked into somebody. "Sorry," I mumbled without even looking at the person. "Quit thinking about Tommy," I said quietly to myself. I had to stop thinking about me, he wasn't thinking about me that was for sure.

I was walking by when I heard the most amazing voice coming from inside a coffee shop. The outside reminded me of my favorite coffee shop back home and it was freezing so I decided a five dollar cup of coffee was worth it. I had all afternoon to worry about finding a place to sleep.

"That not everything is gonna be the way You think it ought to be It seems like every time I try to make it right It all comes down on me Please say honestly you won't give up on me And I shall believe And I shall believe," the girl sang onstage.

"She's good," somebody said from behind me.

"Yeah," I said smiling a little. I loved watching the look on her face as she sang. You could tell, just by looking into her eyes that she was in the moment. A true performer doesn't just sing. She gives it her all and more. Her heart, soul, everything. It didn't matter that this was a Sheryl Crow song, the crowd had already forgotten about that. It was her song now, just for this moment.

"So you here to sing," the girl said again.

I turned to look at her as I tried to formulate a response. There was a small part of me that wanted to jump up and run towards the stage but the bigger part of me was ready to stand up and walk out the door. I was afraid that I would freeze and I didn't want that.

"No, just heard the music," I finally replied before ordering my coffee.

The girl onstage was just winding down and I barely noticed as the waitress set the cup of coffee down in front of me. She reminded me of me, before the Instant Star contest. She was performing just for the fun of it. She wasn't trying to impress anybody, wasn't trying to sell records. She just wanted to sing and maybe make some people smile. That use to be me.

The next guy could barely carry a tune so I turned and took a sip of my coffee. Wow, they had really good coffee. I would have to remember this place was here. I cringed as the guy onstage tried to reach a high note, somebody needed to shoot him and put him out of his misery.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So who's the runaway?" Callie asked putting her apron back on.

"Um…what are you talking about?" Lauren asked confused filling her tray with food.

"You know, the girl who stared at me the whole time I was singing," Callie said picking up the coffee pot.

"I didn't ask for a name, besides, how do you know she's a runaway?" Lauren asked stopping to look at Jude.

"Believe me, I know," Callie said smirking. "The duffle bag at her feet is a dead giveaway. Plus, runaways can spot others with a glance."

Lauren smiled as Callie started refilling coffee cups in the room. Callie had run to the city from a small town in Minnesota years ago. She'd ended up in Lauren's coffee shop looking for a job but with no address and no phone number, Lauren couldn't hire her. But feeling for her, she gave her the spare room in her apartment above the shop and she'd been there ever since.

Lauren watched Jude as she took orders and filled orders. She would stare intently as people got onstage to sing or recite poetry but quickly looked away if they weren't exactly talented. She hadn't seen the duffle right away but there it was sitting by her feet. She looked almost lost, and Lauren had a weakness. She wanted to help everybody and this girl looked like she definitely needed some help.

"Do you need a refill?" Callie asked finally reaching the girl.

"Oh sure," Jude said looking up. "You're the singer."

"Otherwise known as Callie around here," Callie said smiling.

"Oh sorry," Jude said before holding out her hand. "My name's Jude."

"Interesting name, real or made up?" Callie asked shaking her hand.

"Uh..real," Jude said a little taken aback.

"Sometimes people make up names when they're running away. You know, just in case people are looking for them, they think hiding their name will slow them down," Callie explained.

"No, Jude's my real name," Jude said before realizing what she just admitted. "Was it that easy to tell?"

"Just to a fellow runaway," Callie said smiling again. "Don't worry; I'm not going to call the cops or anything."

"Good to know," Jude said smiling back.

"So, why'd you run to the big city?" Callie asked setting the coffee pot down.

"It was the only place the Greyhound was going that looked interesting," Jude said after a moment of silence. She didn't know why she was telling this girl her business but there was something about her that made it easy to talk to her. Jude found herself wanting to confide in her and Jude was normally a private person. She didn't trust just anybody.

"Good answer," Callie said nodding her head. "I had dreams about being famous and New York City one the coin toss. You know heads-Hollywood and tails-New York. Besides, it was closer."

"How old are you?" Jude asked curiously.

"19, you?" Callie replied.

"17," Jude said quietly. Callie may not tell the police but the people around her might not be as nice. Sometimes there were good Samaritans out there that thought they were doing the right thing. Even if maybe minding their own business would have been better.

"Same age I was when I ran," Callie said nodding her head. "I have a feeling you'll be okay though. You picked the right place to have a cup of coffee."

"What does that mean?" Jude asked curiously but Callie was already walking away.

Lauren was talking to the cook when Callie joined her. "You need to hire her," she said putting the coffee pot away.

"Why?" Lauren asked without immediately saying no. Callie had a gift when it came to first impressions, she could tell a good soul from a bad one within minutes. Lauren had learned to trust her instincts.

"She's hurting about something," Callie finally said looking back at Jude. "She isn't going to rob you blind and she's nice. I like her and she just needs a friend right now I think."

"She's not trouble," Lauren asked after checking Jude out one more time.

"No, she's lost I think. Somebody hurt her bad but I think it's more emotional than physical. She just needs to get her feet back under her and I think she'll be good. Besides, with Candace quitting with no notice, you need another waitress," Callie pointed out.

"Where she going to live if she's a runaway?" Lauren asked already reading the answer in Callie's eyes.

"She can bunk with me," Callie said smiling as she went to take an order.

Lauren sighed as she made her way over to Jude. It looked like she was about to save another lost soul. But as she looked into Jude's eyes, she couldn't help but feel she was doing the right thing. There was a pain in Jude's eyes, a pain that Lauren couldn't help but want to fix. Besides, she did need another waitress.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the latest everybody. Sorry it took so long but I had a hard time with this chapter. The next one should be up a lot sooner. Like maybe even later tonight or tomorrow morning. Yeah, cheers for me! If you haven't checked out this new story called 8 months, go check it out. It's a really great story, and the author is a close friend/sister. Well, I hope you like it. Read and Review please!**

**Chapter 4**

"I'm sorry the party you have dialed is unavailable at this time, please try again," the automated voice said causing me to throw my phone across the room for the fifth time. It was time to take the hint, either she'd shut her phone off or she wasn't accepting his phone calls, and well, it was probably the latter.

"She probably hates me," I muttered standing up to pace the study.

I didn't blame her for it either. I had finally taken a baby step forward, given her hope that I was done pretending the feelings weren't there and then I up and leave on her. Without even a proper goodbye. I admit I had done everything wrong. Family emergency or not, I shouldn't have left the way I did. But by the time I had reached that conclusion I was already in Nowhere Ville Montana and I was wrapped up with said family emergency. Life got in my way for the past week but now I am ready to let her yell, scream and basically chew me a new ass. But no, she couldn't answer the cell phone.

"Sometimes she can be so damn stubborn," I said walking over to my cell phone for the last time, or so I thought for the third time. I dialed and waited impatiently for somebody to answer.

"I'm sorry the party you have dialed is unavailable at this time, please try again," the damn automated voice said again.

"Damn her," I said flipping the phone shut again.

"Throw that phone again and it might not work next time," my Step Mom Anna said walking into the room.

I looked at her and was surprised to still find her in her pajamas at ten in the morning. "If Thomas Senior sees you he'll have a shit fit."

"Well then maybe it'll take some of his attention off you," Anna said rolling her eyes. It saddened her to see Tom so angry with her husband, his father. It was sad that it took a death in the family for Tom to finally come home. "He's just really worked up over Nicki's…you know."

"She died Anna," I said sarcastically. "You can say it out loud."

"It hurts your father when you talk like that," she scolded me like I was still a little boy.

"I don't know why, it's not like he ever bothered himself with her since she had Aubrey," I said coldly.

"Tom," Anna said sadly.

"No, it's too late for him to fix this. Maybe if he'd helped her when she needed it, she wouldn't have worked herself into an early grave." I walked over to one of the windows and looked out at the grounds below. "All she wanted was his approval and he could never give that to her. She never gave up like I did, she worked at it and he never thought to even say I'm proud of you to her."

"Aren't we talking about you now Tom?" a voice asked coldly from the doorway.

"Oh you'd like that wouldn't you?" I asked smiling but there was nothing happy about it. "You want me to say I'm sorry for being who I am and not what you wanted. Well I can't but Nicki did, she told you a thousand different ways that she was sorry that she disappointed you but it was never good enough. I hope you're happy old man because now you truly are alone, with the exception of Anna here, you will die alone."

"You truly are a bastard," Thomas Senior said his face red with fury.

"No Thomas, sadly, you were married to my Mom when I was born," I said before strolling past them. I wanted to check on Aubrey one more time before I started packing up our belongings.

"Tom, you will not walk away from me," Thomas said loudly. "You have no reason to be angry with me, I have not called my lawyer to contest Nicolette's will; do you want me to change my mind?"

I smiled as I turned around. "Oh I'd love for you to do that, you hate wasting money and that would be a huge waste of money. You won't break her will; she made sure that wasn't possible. Aubrey is mine, will be mine until she is 18, you don't want to mess with me on this."

"You are just like your mother, stubborn even when wrong," Thomas said shaking his head. "Aubrey belongs with family, she needs a stable home. You are a musician, touring around the world, is that anyplace to raise a family? Think about Aubrey."

"Wow, if I didn't know any better I'd think you actually cared," I said pausing for dramatic effect. "But sadly you are wrong, I am a musician, will always be one. But I don't perform; now I'm a producer, stationed in Toronto. That is my home now, Aubrey's home now. We'll be gone in the morning." I turned and walked out of the room this time, I smiled when I heard my father complaining to Anna. I really did love putting the old man in his place.

I was surprised though, Nicki leaving Aubrey to me, the most unreliable of the family, didn't make a lot of sense. But I understood her logic and after reading the letter the lawyer had provided me along with the reading of the will, I would adhere to her wishes. I didn't want Aubrey raised by our father either.

I slowly opened the door that Anna had painstakingly prepared for Aubrey whenever she visited, which had never happened. Thomas Sr. had not allowed her in the house. Anna had to go to Nicki's to see Aubrey.

It was definitely a little girl's room with the pink walls and huge canopy bed covered in mounds of fluffy pillows. The huge dollhouse that must have cost a fortune to have built. It was a girl's fantasy bedroom and you'd think that Aubrey would be enjoying it.

But she still sat on the window seat, holding her raggedy teddy bear that she hadn't let go of since I had arrived in Montana. She barely spoke and sucked her thumb constantly. She hadn't cried that I could tell and I was worried that taking her away from Montana would damage her more but I couldn't stay here any longer. I had a life, a job and girl that hopefully hadn't written me off. I needed to go home.

I shut the door quietly. I wished I could walk into the room and tell her everything would be okay and make her smile. I'd never met Aubrey before; I was a stranger to her. Everybody in this house was a stranger. I wished when Nicki had called me and told me she had something to tell me three years ago, that I hadn't blown her off. Maybe then I could have helped her out. Aubrey should not be afraid; she should have known who I was.

I looked around and took a deep breath. I only had to get through one more night and I'd be back in Toronto. I could be with Jude in 24 hours. I smiled as I thought about her smile, her laugh, just her. I couldn't wait to see her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's the update, I know I said by this morning at the latest but once again, being a nanny has caused me to have to change my plans. Don't get me wrong I love my job but it definitely doesn't leave me much time for writing my story. I hope you like this chapter, I worked hard on it. **

**Thank you all for you great reviews. They made me smile, I think that's the most I have ever gotten. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. It makes me update a lot faster. :) **

**Chapter 5**

**Sadie's POV**

Darius was staring out his office window when I walked in. He barely looked at me before he went back to staring out the window. He didn't look angry, just contemplative. Like he was really thinking about something.

"Darius, the police are here," I finally said softly. It had been over 24 hours since Jude had run away. The police had surprised me by being concerned and they had started looking for her right away. They had checked bus depots, train stations and even taxicabs. There was no trace of her credit card and nobody has recalled seeing her at any of those places. The police were not worried, all it took was one person who recognized her and they would have a lead.

"Did they tell your family anything new?" Darius asked after a moment of silence.

"No…they…uh said that nobody has recognized her picture yet but they aren't worried. Plus she's well known, somebody somewhere has to recognize her, and we have her picture on the news so there's hope," I said trying to wipe the worry from my face but I already knew I hadn't quite succeeded.

"Do you know where she'd go Sadie?" Darius asked directly.

"Honestly, the only place she's ever run to before was the farmhouse and dad already checked it. I think she really ran this time. With Tommy gone and you laying her off, she's done," I said biting my lip. There was something I wanted to ask him though, something both Kwest and Spied had been wondering about too and this was the first time that I had had him alone. "Darius…did you and Jude argue about something or did something else happen besides you laying her off? 'Cause I know my sister and she wouldn't run just because you laid her off, she'd fight you. So what else happened?"

"I don't know what you are talking about," Darius said finally turning his desk chair around so he was facing me. "We argued of course, she didn't like that I was giving her some time off. But nothing out of the ordinary, you know your sister's temper. She's probably just cooling off somewhere, she'll be back."

"You know Darius; I've always been called the gullible one. Jude was the sarcastic cynical one who does not believe everything you tell her. Well guess what, I think she's rubbing off on me because I don't believe a word you just said." I walked over to the door and turned around one last time. "Something else happened in here and you're a bastard for not telling me."

"Sadie," Darius said standing up but I walked out.

"He's ready," I said grabbing my jacket and purse from behind my desk. I watched as the police officers walked into Darius's office. I glared at the door once they closed it before pressing the button for Liam's intercom. "I'm done for the day Liam, I'll see you tomorrow."

It was sunny out but still relatively cool for the summer, in one-week school would start and Jude would officially be late for her senior year of high school. I knew she wouldn't care but I smiled at the memories of my senior year. Being president of my class, all the football games and prom. I loved my senior year of high school.

Of course, not all that compared to Judes singing career. I mean, she hangs out at parties with other celebrities, her producer makes the Abercrombie and Fitch guys look ordinary and she gets to wear clothes that cost more than most people's monthly rent. So her senior year of high school probably was not that high on her list of things to accomplish.

"Sadie…stop please," Kwest called jogging to catch up with me. I'd just reached my car so I opened the driver's door and tossed my purse inside before turning to face him. He looked worried and I crossed my arms across my chest defensively. I knew what he was going to ask 'do you know where Jude is? I hope she's okay.' Man alive I wish that for once I'd have a guy who thought of me before my sister. I had thought Kwest could have been that guy. He'd always seemed to enjoy my company and then with the flowers at Jude's CD release party. But nothing had happened really since. Yeah some heated glances but Tommy had been great at those and look where that lead.

"Are you okay?" Kwest asked after he finally caught up with me.

"Huh," I said confused. Okay, so not what I thought he was going to say.

"I just, you know…" he said blushing a little. "I figured with Jude gone, you could be worried and I know that your dad is rarely home. I didn't want you to think nobody cared about you."

I smiled softly at him before standing on my tiptoes to give him a chaste kiss on his lips. "Thank you for worrying about me, nobody else seems to give me a second thought."

Kwest wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'll always worry about you. I'm worried about Jude too but she's going to be okay. She's tough Sadie, I've worked with her for a long time and wherever she is, she's fine."

"You promise," Sadie said wishing that if she believed in it hard enough, it would be true.

"I promise," Kwest said pulling her in for a hug. He closed his eyes and prayed he wasn't lying to her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Darius watched as the officers closed the door to his office. He motioned for them both to sit before walking over to his filing cabinet to get the manila envelope that held the photos and the blackmail note.

"Here is everything," Darius said tossing the envelope down on his desk. "We received this the day before yesterday."

The officer's flipped through the photos, their faces getting less and less impassive. Officer Myhrer grimaced as he saw the last one. "These are pretty bad, would these make Jude run, do you think?"

"Honestly," Darius said pacing back and forth behind his desk. "No, she would get pissed and probably make a public statement. Well, that is if I hadn't ordered her away from the studio. With me 'laying' her off and her producer flaking out on her. I don't know what was in her head."

"Do you have any idea who this guy is?" Officer Jenkins asked.

"None at all, Jude walked out before I could ask any questions. Truth is I was angry and I wasn't thinking. I didn't know what questions to ask," Darius admitted still feeling like an idiot. "Yesterday I finally realized I needed a bit more information and asked Sadie to check on Jude. But she was already gone."

"There hasn't been anything in the paper yet?" Myhrer asked even though he already knew the answer.

"Not yet, which surprises me. I thought for sure they'd be in today's paper at least," Darius said shaking his head.

"Sometimes these guys just try to fake you out but I'd be on the lookout, they will eventually appear when you don't pay," Jenkins said.

"You have no idea where she went," Myhrer stated.

"None at all, she usually goes to her family's farm house but not this time," Darius turned to face his wall that held pictures of all his current or best selling artists. He looked at Jude's picture of her smiling and he felt like punching the wall. "Has foul play been considered?"

"It's been considered and ruled out," Myhrer said standing up. "She's left a voice mail clearing stating she was leaving on her own. After talking to everybody, it looks like a clear case of her just running away. We are going to continue looking for her because she is high profile but honestly, we can only put her picture on the news stations and hope that somebody recognizes her and calls the number. But in three months, she'll be 18, and then we really can't do anymore."

"I know," Darius said sitting back down.

"We'll get in touch with you if we find anything, thank you for your help," Jenkins said standing up too.

"Oh wait, if you want some information on the blackmail guy, talk to Mason Fox, he was there the whole night. He could give you a description and might even know the guys name," Darius said and watched Myhrer write down the information.

"Okay, thanks for cooperating," he said before they left.

Darius had just gotten comfortable in his seat when Kwest walked into his office.

"D, I know that you already told Sadie that nothing else happened but as her producer, I want to know the truth," he said trying to look intimidating but he came out looking a bit nervous.

"Kwest, honestly, I expect it to come out in a day or two anyway. I'd rather not talk about it now," Darius said honestly.

"Is it bad D?" Kwest asked sounding worried.

"It could be," Darius admitted. "We will probably have to do lots of damage control but I'm hoping with the news that Jude has ran away, that it just might go away. Wishful thinking on my part."

"Just keep me posted please D, I care about Jude, she's like a sister to me," Kwest said before walking out of Darius's office.

Darius looked again at Jude's picture on the wall and he felt his eyes start to tear up. He'd never admit it to anybody but he was worried about Jude. She was always so damn tough and sarcastic that she could really piss somebody off if she wasn't careful. She never thought before she did anything, which could also get her into trouble.

He hated that he'd over reacted. The pictures are bad but not worth laying his top artist off. She'd worked her butt off this past year and he'd never even really thanked her for it. There was her car but he wished he could have done more. If Jude ever came back, he would definitely owe her an apology. He just wished he was man enough to give it to her when the time came.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay everybody, not as many reviews as last time. I know the whole Darius thing can be boring but bare with me. It's all getting better here soon. R and R please!**

**Chapter 6**

**Jude's POV**

I looked around at the room I was sharing with Callie. It was pink, and I mean pink. It's not that I hate the color pink but let's just say I'd rather do without it. Plus, she had pictures everywhere. I could spend a day just looking at them. I didn't know any of the people in them but looking at how happy Callie was in every picture, I couldn't imagine why she'd ran away.

I set my duffle bag and guitar case down on the cot they'd set up in the corner for me. Callie had even cleared out one dresser drawer for me before having to get back to the coffee shop. She promised me some closet space but I was happy with the drawer. It wasn't like I'd brought that much with me anyway.

I opened my duffle bag and took out the picture of my family. It was taken like three Christmas's ago. I think this was the last picture we had taken all together; I wonder if this is where things went wrong with us. We were all smiling but Dad and Sadie's both looked a little forced.

I pulled out my favorite stuffed animal. He was a dog that had seen much better days, one of his ears was falling off and he was missing his nose. But I loved him anyways. I smiled when I remembered the day my Dad had given it to me. I was such a homely child and some kid had been bullying me. I must have moped for days when my Dad brought home this stuffed dog. He told me that every time somebody made fun of me or I felt like I didn't belong, to hug this dog. He had magical powers that would make all the bad things go away. I never believed him but the dog became my constant companion.

I finished unpacking and smirked when I saw I still had room in my drawer even after putting all my clothes away. Hopefully they knew how to do laundry or could teach me because I only had enough clothes for a couple days at the most.

I finally opened my guitar case and pulled out my journal and guitar. I sat down in the only open corner in the room and opened my journal to a picture of Tommy I had hidden away so every time I worked on a song, I could look at him and be inspired. Maybe it was looking at his picture or this city but I was feeling inspired. I opened to a blank page and grabbed a pen.

"Here I am sitting all alone," I sang strumming chords that hopefully would eventually go together. "Surrounded by the unknown. Silence fills the air, making it hard for me to breath; Memories of us are tearing me apart."

I wrote down everything quickly. I hadn't felt this inspired in so long. Who knew a change of venue would be so inspirational?

"I just can't let you go; I've tried to break away. The ghost of what might have been haunts me once again. And I'm begging from my soul, heart please let him go." I couldn't believe how well it was flowing it was coming too easily.

"Wow, did you just write that?" Callie asked from the doorway.

"Yeah, I uh…like to write songs," I said closing my eyes knowing I sounded lame.

"You should sing it tomorrow on your break," Callie said walking over to her bed. "The crowds are cool; they even tip if they really like your song. Plus, you'll get better tips because it's an original song. I suck at writing songs; I just do better singing other people's stuff."

"Someone once told me that writing a song is like falling in love," I said smiling at the memory of Tommy looking so passionate about working with me. "He told me that sometimes you have to walk away but other times, you come out with something amazing. I've always looked at writing a song that way."

"Would that be the same guy in your song?" Callie asked curiously.

"Yeah," I said softly looking down at Tommy's picture.

"Oh is that him," Callie asked moving from her bed to where I was sitting so quickly I didn't have time to hide the picture.

"Wow, isn't this Little Tommy Q.?" Callie asked staring at his picture with her mouth hanging open. "You know Tommy Q."

I closed my eyes. How to explain my relationship with Tommy without letting her know that I was a famous singer who ran away from her record company because she missed her producer a.k.a. Tom Quincy. So I did what anybody would do. "He's a friend." I lied, badly by the look on her face.

"From the sound of that song, he was more than a friend," Callie said knowingly. She handed me back the picture and leaned back against my cot.

"Maybe on my side," I said surprised I was admitting so much. But I hadn't had a real 'girl' friend since Kat admitted to hating me. Can we say ouch? I didn't know Callie all that well but she seemed cool and she'd gotten me a job and a place to stay. How bad could she be? "I love him."

"Oooh, not past tense," Callie said eagerly. "I love a good romance story, spill please."

"I don't know," I said putting his picture back in my journal. "I don't know if I can talk about him yet."

"Well let's try," Callie said thoughtfully. "How'd you meet?"

"At work," I said deciding to omit a few details. "He was so damn cocky but damn if it didn't make me like him even more. I tried to tell myself that it was…temporary, just a freaky reaction to close quarters but damn if I didn't fall for him."

"Isn't he like old?" Callie asked making me laugh.

"He's 23, not old in my book. But according to my friends and family, he's ancient," I said shaking my head. "He dated my sister."

"That would make things a little complicated," she said making a face.

"It did but it didn't. I think I knew that it wouldn't last for them and I bided my time until he was single again. I was going to make my move, however cheesy is. I never got my chance though."

"He died," Callie said shocked. "But wait, wouldn't I have heard about the freakin hottie from Boyz Attack dying?"

"He didn't die," I said smiling at her. I was finding Callie to be a bit of a drama queen but she was making me laugh. And I was talking about Tommy, without feeling like my heart was being ripped out. "He made the first move. He admitted he had feelings for me first."

"Ooh, and the plot thicken." Callie licked her lips and smiled sheepishly when I stared at her in confusion. "Just thinking this would be better if I had some popcorn."

I rolled my eyes. "There isn't much more to tell. We never actually admitted how we really felt about each other. We circled around one another, did the clever flirting without admitting true feelings and then he asked me out." I smiled sadly at the memory of him asking me out to celebrate. "I remember standing there staring at him wondering if he'd a-lost his mind or b-finally realized what we could have."

"And which was it a or b?" Callie asked excitedly.

"I don't know, he showed up at said date and told me he was leaving and didn't think he'd be coming back," I said my happiness deflating again. Well, that didn't last long now did it.

"Jerk," Callie said shaking her head.

"Oh no, I've moved passed jerk and straight on to asshole," I said seriously.

"So you ran away from…to get away from the memories," she said trying to put a few things together.

"That would make me a cliché and I hate being a cliché," I said quickly. "No there was a lot more to it than that. Let's just say my family fell apart, my job fell apart, and my whole damn life fell apart. I needed to escape, to get away."

"That's cool," she said standing up and walking back over to her bed. "I think that's enough sharing for today but be aware, I am so telling you my story next and you better listen just as intently to mine as I did yours."

"Okay," I said smiling again. I watched her grab some pajamas before she stuck her tongue out at me and walked into the adjoining bathroom. I took one last look at my guitar and journal before putting them away in my case. I've only been gone from home for 24 hours but I'm already happier where I'm at now. Callie was a godsend, if anybody could help me get over Tommy it would be her. Maybe I could finally put him behind me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Here's the latest update, hope ya'll like it.**

**Chapter 7**

**Tommy's POV**

"Aubrey, it's time to go!" I called up the stairs. It was seven in the morning and our flight would take off at nine, with our without us. Anna came down the stairs first dabbing at her eyes with a Kleenex. I looked away, I knew it was hard on her, watching me take away her granddaughter but I was only doing what Nicki wanted.

I smiled at Aubrey as she walked up to me carrying her new princess backpack that held toys in it for the plane ride. It had been a gift from Anna plus a whole knew pink luggage set. She looked cute in her pink jeans, purple and pink t-shirt with I'm No Angel on it and white tennis shoes.

"Do you really have to take her all the way to Toronto? I mean, can't you work here, I'm sure this Darius guy could work something out with you," Anna said clenching and unclenching her fists.

"Only somebody who'd never met the man would think that. Honestly Anna, I don't even know if I still have a job at G Major. I didn't exactly tell him I was leaving," I admitted still nervous about facing D. He could either take me back or ruin my career. Man was I hoping he'd take me back, let me have my artists back, especially Jude. I missed making music with her and I had a whole lot more to make up for.

"So you are taking our only grandchild away without having a job to go back to, real responsible," Thomas Sr. said walking out of his office to stand beside his wife.

"Even if I don't get my job back Darius, I have enough saved to last us long enough 'til I find a job, but it's nice of you to worry about me," I said sarcastically. I turned around and opened the front door so Aubrey could walk out first.

"I'm not done fighting you on this, Aubrey belongs with us," Thomas said glaring at his only son.

"And I welcome the fight, it's been a long time since I had to take somebody on," I said walking down the porch towards the rental truck. I loaded Aubrey into her seat before turning back to see Anna standing right behind me and my father still in the doorway.

"It's not safe for her to sit in the front seat Tom," Anna said sounding really worried.

"It's only to the airport Anna. I have a better car at home, or will," I said wincing at the thought of my viper. That wasn't exactly a kid car either. I was going to have to look into a new car.

"You'll visit, right?" Anna asked softly staring at Aubrey through the window of the truck.

"Maybe someday but I can't be around him. You are welcome to come to Toronto and visit her as much as you want," I said making sure the tailgate was up. I turned around after I reached the driver's side door and smiled at Anna. "This isn't about keeping her away from you. It's about following Nicki's wishes and I hope to hell she knew what she was thinking."

"She did Tom, she always saw what you could be," Anna said placing the palm of her hand on one of his cheeks. "Take care Tom, you'll do great."

"Thank you," I whispered surprised at how that vote of confidence made me relax a little bit. "We'll call when we reach Toronto."

I looked out the rearview mirror and saw Anna still standing in the driveway her hand covering her mouth but my father had already gone back inside, no surprise there. I looked down at Aubrey and saw her staring out her window looking terrified. I cleared my throat and watched her jump in her seat.

"I know this is strange and you're scared," I said after a moment. "I'm scared too." Aubrey stared at me like she couldn't believe an adult was scared to. "I promise I'm going to try my hardest to be as good as a parent as your Mom was. I loved your Mom, she was my only sister and I want you to know that she was amazing."

"I want Mommy," Aubrey said a tear running down her face.

"So do I," I said looking out the window wondering what the hell I was going to do now. I hated tears, didn't matter how old you were, tears were the enemy. "Your Mommy wants to be here right now but she can't, she asked me to love you and take care of you and I promise I'm going to do my best."

Aubrey just stared at me before looking back out her window. Her eyes were exactly like Nicki's and when she stared at him, he felt like he worthless because he couldn't make the pain go away. He didn't know what he was doing and he hoped to God that Jude, Sadie, hell even Kwest knew about kids.

The rest of the drive was in silence. I didn't know what to say and Aubrey barely said anything. The plane ride was the same way but soon we were landing in Toronto. It took me twenty minutes to negotiate the airport and get to baggage check when Aubrey pulled on my pant leg.

I looked down in surprise, she never touched me and by the look on her face, she wasn't happy she had. "I have to potty."

I froze, could she go by herself? Anna had always handled the bathroom running, I didn't even know if she was in diapers still. Are three year olds in diapers? I looked around desperate for somebody anybody to help me out.

"I have to potty," Aubrey said again like I didn't hear her the first time.

"Can you go by yourself?" I finally asked praying that she said yes.

"Yes but you need to be there to," Aubrey said again.

I nodded as I looked around until I spotted the restroom sign. I led her over to the bathroom but paused again when I saw the women's door and then the men's. Which one did I take her into? I looked down and saw Aubrey crossing her legs and jumping up and down. "The men's it is," I said picking her up and carrying her into the men's room. I put her in the first available stall. "Um…you okay in there?" I asked after a moment had gone by.

"Fine," she said quietly.

I glanced at my watch and realized barely a minute had passed. But soon she was flushing the toilet and opening the door. She walked towards the sink and glanced back at me. "I need help."

"Oh yeah," I said picking her up so she could wash her hands.

Soon we were on our way again and I loaded our entire luggage onto a cart and wheeled it out to the taxi pick up. It took me ten minutes to figure out how to hook her car seat up but the cabby didn't care, he was already charging me fare.

"Thank God," I said half an hour later as I finished unloading the luggage and brought it all inside the house. I looked around my small apartment and knew there were plenty more changes to come. I was going to have to move. My one bedroom apartment just wasn't going to get it done anymore. I watched as Aubrey walked around the apartment looking at everything. I knew I should unpack and start making lists about what I should do. Where to move, what car to get, that sort of thing but I was already grabbing my viper's keys. "Aubrey, time to go."

I loaded her into the Viper, hearing Anna's voice in my ear as I put her car seat into the front seat again. I was really going to have to get a new car soon. It was a short drive to G Major and I took a deep breath before unloading Aubrey and making my way towards the front door. I knew there were going to be a ton of questions flying my way as soon as I walked in and was mentally bracing myself.

The first thing I noticed was Sadie was still behind the receptionist desk and Liam was still ordering her around. Kwest was sitting on the couch talking into his cell phone and various producers and technicians were walking around going about their day. I decided Kwest would be the lesser of two evils thinking about Sadie being Jude's sister and made my way over towards the couch.

Kwest looked up and his eyes widened in shock. "I uh…I'll have to talk to you later man." He closed his phone and stood up staring at Tommy like he was a ghost or something. "Hey man…what's up?" he asked confused.

"Well, a lot actually," Tommy said looking down at Aubrey who was permanently attached to his leg. She must have decided that I was safer than any of the strangers walking around G Major.

"Where ya been?" Kwest asked finally staring at the child even more confused.

"Oh taking care of some family business," I said leaving out all the drama. I would rather tell the story once than a thousand times.

"Tommy freaking Q," Sadie said walking over to us glaring at me the whole time. She looked the same except for the black highlights she'd put in her hair. Maybe Jude was rubbing off on her now that they were roommates.

"Hey Sadie," I said smiling.

"Hey Tommy," Sadie said pulling back her arm before socking me in the jaw.

"Ow," I said holding my jaw as Kwest pulled Sadie back so she was standing behind him.

"Are you okay?" Kwest asked making a face at the bruise that was sure to be there if I didn't get some ice soon.

"Yeah, she hits like a girl," I said knowing that would piss her off more. But where did she get off hitting me, it's not like we were friends or anything.

"Shut up Tommy, I could do much worse to you," Sadie said glaring at me.

"What the hell is your problem?" I finally asked after one of the interns had gotten me some ice.

"My problem," Sadie said placing another pack of ice on her hand. I knew it had to hurt like hell but she got points for not complaining. "My problem is that you are a complete ass who gets his rocks off by making girls fall for him and then dumping them or leaving them behind like they meant nothing. I hate you."

I stared at her realizing she must know about the date I had had planned with Jude and that she was talking about that. Or in Sadie's case, she was probably talking about her because that was the number one person in her life. "Listen Sadie that date with Jude had nothing to do with you. Just let me talk to her and I'm sure we can work it out," I said realizing as I spoke the last word that she had no clue I had ever asked Jude out on a date.

"You and Jude, a date? When was this?" Sadie asked looking at Kwest like he knew the answer.

"I thought Jude told you, the night I left, we were supposed to have a date," I said softly realizing I had just dug my grave a little deeper.

"You are a bigger ass than I realized," Sadie said glaring at me.

"Okay, I get that but can we please watch the language around Aubrey," I said glaring at her. "I may be new at this whole parenting thing but I'm sure we aren't suppose to swear in front of her."

"You have a kid!" Sadie yelled causing everybody who hadn't been staring at us before to stare at us now.

"I don't want to get into right now," I said not wanting to talk about this in the middle of G Major. "Can we just take this little show to a conference room or something? I kinda only want to tell the story once so can we get Darius and Jude in there to."

"That's going to be kind of hard," Sadie said a gleam coming into her eyes.

"Gone? Gone where?" I asked confused. I looked around like she was just going to materialize.

"Gone as in she ran away jerk off," Sadie said crossing her arms over her chest. "Yep, my sister could be lying in a ditch somewhere or who knows; maybe she's a prostitute by now. All thanks to you Thomas Quincy."

"What is she talking about?" I asked Kwest a sick feeling settling into the pit of my stomach.

"Man, Jude ran away a couple days ago," Kwest said biting his lip. He hated to be the bearer of bad news and telling Tommy that Jude was gone was the worst news. "Nobody knows exactly why but she was upset the last couple days she was here and then one day, poof, she was gone."

"Gone?" I asked again.

"So you're back," Darius said from behind me. "In my office, now."

I stood up and grabbed Aubrey's hand to take her with me but Sadie, guilt in her eyes, touched my arm. "I'll watch her," she said softly.

I nodded as I followed Darius into his office. I kept repeating Kwest and Sadie's words in my head, gone….gone…gone. How could she be gone? I'd come back for her to be with her. To tell her that I love her. How could she be gone?


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's the latest update, sorry it took so long but it's finally here. Yeah me. Hope you like it.**

**Chapter 8**

**Tommy's POV**

I walked into Darius's office on autopilot and sat down in one of the chairs across his desk. I couldn't wrap my head around Jude being gone. G Major was like her life, she'd told me once that without G Major, she wasn't Jude Harrison. So why in the hell had she left?

"Why'd you come back?" Darius asked finally after a moment of silence.

"What?" I asked having only heard part of what he said.

"Why'd you come back?" Darius asked more slowly. "You had to know there's a chance I'd tell you to get the hell out of my record company."

"I guess I was hoping you'd want to make money more than being a prick," I said seriously. I knew I should be kissing his ass, he had every right to kick me out of G Major but I was never one to do the smart thing.

"There is that," Darius said drumming his fingers on his desk. "So Sadie spilled the beans."

"If by that you mean she told me Jude's gone then yeah, she did." I stared at him hoping he could tell my why'd she left. Sadie wasn't exactly the nicest person right now and I didn't know how much Kwest knew. "Why'd she leave D?"

"I could be a prick and tell you because of you," Darius said seriously. I swallowed having heard my worst fear voiced but relaxed when Darius shook his head. "But I don't like lying unless it's for a good cause; and causing you to feel guilt is not in my best interest."

"Then why?" I asked again.

"Jude was going through some stuff, probably more than anybody even knew," Darius said honestly. "A lot has come out since she left, about her home life, her music and her private life. Jude wasn't a happy girl Tom. Did you know she got drunk or better yet, wasted the night of her release party?" Darius nodded his head when I just stared at him in shock. "Yep, shocked us all by leaving her party five minutes before her cue and driving all the way to Mason."

"But she was so proud of that record," I whispered.

"Yeah she was, still is I hope, wherever she is," Darius said leaning back in his chair. "Her album is number 1 in the country, number 17 in the U.S. She's officially made the big leagues and she's not hear to witness it."

"Does anybody know where she went?"

"No, strangely enough, she made sure of that. I thought for sure she would have told Spied or at least Jamie but they're both as worried as everyone else," Darius said shaking his head in confusion. "She's not using her credit cards; her accounts have the same balance. Nobody knows how much cash she had on her but Sadie said not much because Jude hates dealing with cash."

"Did you call the police?" I asked quietly starting to worry even more.

"Sadie and Jamie called them when they got her phone message on Jamie's cell but they aren't having any luck. They assume somebody will recognize her and call the number on the news but I have my doubts."

"Something set her off," I said more to myself but loud enough so Darius could hear.

"We argued the day she left," Darius finally said after a minute. He was looking out his window not wanting to see Tom's face. "I told her she was laid off. Not fired mind you but she needed a break."

"Why in the hell would you do that?" I yelled standing up. "Do you even realize what that would do to her…forcing her out of the studio, again!"

"Sit down and shut up Tom," Darius said standing up. Once I was seated he started pacing. "You have no idea why I came to that decision but do you honestly think I wanted to lay off my number one artist. The major money maker for G Major. Of course not," he added before I could say anything. "I thought she understood, when she left my office she didn't look mad or anything. If anything she looked confused but I can't believe my laying her off would make her run away."

"Of course not, it's just her whole life you were ripping away," I said sarcastically.

"Back the fuck off," Darius said shocking me into shutting my mouth. "I am probably more worried about Jude then her own damn parents. If you think for one minute that I'm the only reason she ran away, then you are an idiot. You may not have been the main reason, but I'm sure you were a deciding factor."

"Where would she go D?" I asked changing the subject.

"That's the question of the hour and nobody seems to know the answer," Darius said closing his eyes. "I just hope we find her before the Grammy awards."

"Why?"

Darius picked up a piece of a paper and tossed it towards me. "She's been nominated."

"Best new artist," I said smiling, proud of my girl.

"And it would be a shame if she wasn't there," Darius said shaking his head.

"We have two months."

"Yep," Darius said picking up his phone. "Now go back to work, Kwest can get you up to speed."

I stared at him for a minute before walking out of his office. I could stay and talk but I don't think he had anything to add and I was hoping that Kwest would know some more. He had probably been made her producer, he had to know something.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Jude's POV**

"Large coffee, black. Blueberry muffin heated no butter and a cup of water," I repeated out loud making sure I had everything right. I'd already screwed up most of my orders today and Lauren didn't look too happy with me. I made my way back towards the counter and saw Callie smiling at me from a table on the other side of the shop and I smiled back at her.

Callie was so…different from anybody I'd ever known. She actually reminded me of Sadie in some ways and normally that would repulse me but it was kind of refreshing. She made me laugh with her constant jokes and her non stop chatter. Plus her style of dress was really cool. She was a punk that looked like a princess. She was really cool and if I was going to be starting over, I'm glad I had a friend like her.

"You're going to have to move quicker," Lauren said from behind me.

"I know," I muttered swearing under my breath when I couldn't remember what I'd written down. I grabbed my ordering pad and reread what I wrote. I was so not cut out to be a waitress.

"You have two tables that are ready to order," Lauren said still behind me.

"I know," I said again grabbing a blueberry muffin.

"You need-" Lauren said but I interrupted her.

"I know," I said turning to face her. "I'm going as fast as I can. I've never done this before. I'm a singer not a damn waitress." I closed my eyes when I realized what I said. Staying anonymous wasn't exactly going to be easy if I start yelling stuff like I'm a singer. I through down my pad and walked through the kitchen and out the backdoor. I needed a break.

Lauren turned to follow Jude but Callie grabbed her arm. "Let me go talk to her," Callie said smiling softly. "I kinda have a feeling of what she's going through. Maybe I can help her."

"Somebody better because I need a waitress," Lauren said grabbing Jude's pad and went to do her tables.

I was leaning against the brick wall when Callie stepped out of the back door. She walked over beside me so she was leaning beside me.

"It gets easier," Callie said after a moment.

"It better," I said closing my eyes.

"Well, I was the worst waitress in the entire world when Lauren first hired me and look at me now," Callie said smiling.

"Somehow I think you're just saying that," I said looking at her out of the corner of my eye.

"Okay maybe I am but you can't tell me that Jude Harrison, Canada's own Instant Star is afraid of a little hard work," Callie said seriously.

I turned to face her with my mouth open in shock. "How long have you known?"

"Not 'til today," Callie said shrugging her shoulders. "The internet is a great tool for research and I thought there was something familiar about you the first time I saw you. Now I know why, I have your first CD."

"So you probably have a bunch of questions right?" I asked wondering what to explain and what to keep to myself.

"Not really, I mean, I do but I don't expect you to answer them. I just can't believe you walked away from that life. I mean, I ran because my life sucked but yours…you have something going there girl," she said shaking her head.

"I lost it though," I said softly. "I had something going but one stupid mistake and I lost it all. I was let go from my record deal, my producer is MIA and some prick is out there full of disgusting pictures of me. My life isn't that great," I said turning to go back inside.

"Hey wait a minute," Callie said stopping me. "I didn't mean to piss you off. I won't tell anybody, you're secrets safe with me. We all have out demons to face."

"Thank you," I said smiling genuinely.

"Just promise me one thing," Callie said following me inside.

"What's that?'

"That you'll say goodbye before you go back."

I looked at her in confusion. "I don't even know if I'm ever going back."

"Yeah you are," Callie said going back into the coffee shop. I followed more slowly thinking about what she said. Someday I would have to go back. I was Jude Harrison and I had a life that I needed to eventually deal with but for right now, I was happy just being Jude, the waitress that can't well waitress.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, I know it's been forever. Or it feels like it to me. But I was lost on this chapter. I didn't know where I was going to go and I was seriously stuck but low and behold, I finally finished it. Yeah me! Well I hope you like it and I will hopefully update the next chapter a heck of a lot sooner. So R and R please! I love reading the reviews, they truly make my day. :) Thank you to everybody who has stayed with me, reviewing every chapter. **

**Chapter 9**

**Two months later**

**At G Major**

"And off they go," Darius said before heading back into G Major. He'd just sent Patsy, Kwest and SME off to the airport for Patsy's first ever public appearance. She would be on TRL introducing her first video along with her current band SME. If Jude ever came back they would once again be her band again but until then, they were Patsy's.

"Do you think she's ready?" I asked walking in behind him.

"Hell no but TRL wants her and she wants to do it," Darius said rolling his eyes. "Maybe if she completely screws up she'll finally understand that we know what we're talking about."

G Major was packed today, artists walking everywhere, producers tripping over interns. You had to talk loudly if not yell to be heard. I followed Darius back to the main conference room.

"You wanted to talk to me," Darius said sitting down at the head of the table.

"Yes," I said sitting down beside him. "I want to make my own CD."

Darius didn't like to be surprised, he always liked being in control but Tommy was definitely throwing him for a loop this time. "You haven't seemed that interested in singing in a long time," he commented. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I think you know the answer to that one," I said softly. "I've never been more inspired then I am right now. Jude leaving…my coming home…everything….it's just inspired me. I mean every day I wake up to Aubrey, this little girl who barely says three words to me every day. She looks at me with her big blue eyes and my heart melts." I looked down at my hands before continuing. "I first thought my sister was insane for leaving her to me, I mean, I know absolutely nothing about kids. But I think she knew what she was doing. Aubrey's changing me."

"I have noticed you don't party as much and you're never late for work," Darius admitted.

"I can't afford to be fired, I'm supporting her and I don't party because there have been too many nights in my life that I can't remember and she deserves better than that," I said seriously. "I'm changing D."

"I know, you're jobs safe Tommy, and if you want to try your hand at recording again, you have my blessing," Darius said standing up. "But I think there's another reason you're changing and someday she will be back."

I looked away from him as he walked out of the conference room. I knew who he was talking about. There was never a minute in my day that she didn't cross my mind. At first I dwelled on it, worrying constantly about her but as the weeks went by, I realized that Jude was strong. Wherever she was, she'd landed on her feet and she was probably working up the courage to come home on her own. I just had to cool my jets and wait for her this time. She'd been waiting for me since she was 15, now it was my turn.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Jude's POV**

"Here's your coffee, your bagel will be ready in a minute," I said smiling at George, a regular at the coffee shop. He always came in every night at 7 and asked for a cup of coffee, decaf of course and a blueberry bagel. He always sat in my section and flirted outrageously while I waited on him.

George was harmless, being over 60 years old and still mourning his wife who had died ten years earlier. He reminded me of my late Grandpa, if he was still alive, I like to think he would have been like George. I loved sitting down beside him, listening to his stories of his wife.

"It's time for you to take the stage," Callie said filling her tray with various bagels, sandwiches and drinks.

"It's busy, it can wait," I said rolling my eyes. Callie had been trying to get me onstage since I got here, but lately she'd been even more determined. She'd also taken to playing my CD's late at night in our room, causing me to relive every moment of every song I'd ever written. Her favorite song was White Lines and I had to hold back tears every time I heard the words. I could still feel Tommy holding onto me, his breath on my face before he kissed me and the look in his eyes when I pulled away.

"It's not that busy, take the stage girl," Callie said crossing her arms over her chest. When I shook my head she grabbed my hand and pulled me back into the kitchen. "I know you're afraid of the music. Of not being able to stand up on that stage and perform like you used to but girl, you are Jude Harrison. I didn't think you were a coward."

"I'm not," I said getting angry. She didn't understand. I wasn't scared to perform, I loved singing. "It's not that."

"Then what is it?" Callie asked confused.

"I'm afraid to want it again," I whispered.

"I hope you do want it again," Callie said surprising me. "You are wasting your time here, serving coffee and sandwiches. You have a record deal, a family, the hottest producer ever to live."

"I'm not ready to want it again," I said after a moment.

"I think you are," Callie said shaking her head. "Don't be a coward Jude. Sing tonight, sing a cover if you can't sing an original, but sing."

I watched her walk out of the kitchen and followed her at a much slower pace. I walked over to my tray and looked down at the order I'd begun to fill and knew she was right. I turned and headed towards the stage. I could hear everybody talking around me as I climbed onto the stage and grabbed Callie's guitar and sat down on the stool in front of the microphone placed there.

"Hey everybody," I said softly into the microphone. It took a minute but soon everybody was staring at me and I closed my eyes. I could already feel the excitement in my chest. I'd loved performing since I could remember. I took the stage for the first time at 6 at a local county fair and that had been the beginning of Jude Harrison rock star. I opened my eyes and allowed myself to want it again. "I wrote this song shortly after moving here. It's titled Beautifully Broken."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So they just gave you these gift cards," Patsy said walking into the coffee shop behind Spied, Kwest, Wally and Kyle. They were out celebrating after Patsy's terrible performance on TRL earlier.

"Yeah," Spied said pulling them out of his jacket pocket. "We were about to leave and an intern handed them to me and was like, these are for you."

"Well I am always up for coffee," Wally said walking over to the only open table in the place. He pulled out a chair and was just sitting down when the music started playing from the back of the coffee shop.

Patsy tried to see who was onstage but their table didn't give them a good view of the stage. "The melody is a little depressing," she said rubbing her hands together to warm them up.

"What can I get you?" the waitress asked walking up beside them.

"Coffee," everyone said quickly. Spied opened his mouth to tell the joke he'd been dying to tell them all week when he froze. Kwest, Wally and Kyle also froze and soon they were all standing up. "No way," Spied said shaking his head as he listened to the voice singing from the stage.

_It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky  
It seems like yesterday I didn't know how hard I could cry  
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by  
But I will try  
I will try wipe the tears from my eyes_

"Guys," Patsy said confused. She listened to the voice but couldn't really recognize it, the girl was talented but so were a lot of other people.  
_  
I'm beautifully broken and I don't mind if you know it  
I'm beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it_

"It's…." Spied said in shock.

"Jude," Kwest finished for him staring at the blonde onstage.

_Every day is a new day I'm reminded of my past  
Every time there's another storm I know that it wont last  
Every moment I'm filled with hope  
cause I get another chance  
But I will try I will try_  
_Got nothing left to hide_

_I'm beautifully broken and I don't mind if you know it  
I'm beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it_  
_  
Without the highs and the lows  
Where will we go?  
Where will we go?  
_

_I am beautifully broken, I am beautifully broken  
I am beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it  
_

They listened to the rest of the song in silence, everybody frozen in place by the words and the emotion behind them. When she finished and was making her way off the stage Spied couldn't just stand there anymore. The only girl he had ever loved, the girl he had reluctantly let go months before, was here. She was less than ten feet from him and he had to get closer.

"Spied, she might…" Kwest said but stopped when he saw the determination on his face. Spied was on a mission and nothing was going to stop him.

"Jude," Spied said when he was finally standing right behind her. He watched her stop and slowly turn around but both of them were surprised when tears started falling from her eyes and she wrapped her arms around him like she was never letting go again.

Spied returned the hug even though he had a million questions he wanted to ask her but he felt his shirt getting wet and he knew she was crying. Jude didn't cry easily and Spied found himself comforting her.

"I'm sorry," Jude said pulling away. She touched one of her hands to his face before turning and making her way back into the kitchen of the coffee shop. Spied stared after her wondering, for just a moment, if he'd just made her up, but when Kwest stepped up beside him, he knew that they'd really just found Jude, the missing Rock Star and they needed to tell Darius ASAP or there would be hell to pay.


	10. Chapter 10

**Here's the latest update, see I told you it wouldn't take as long. I'm getting better, right Jess? Well thank you for all the reviews and I hope you like this chapter just as much. R and R please!**

**Chapter 10**

**Jude's POV**

I barely noticed as Callie followed me back into the kitchen, she was smiling rambling about the song I had sung. I wanted to scream, how'd they found me. I had been so careful. I hadn't called Jamie or Sadie, even though I had to physically leave a room whenever I saw an open phone. I hadn't watched the news, sure that they had plastered my picture everywhere. I had cut myself off from that life and started a new one. How had they found me? Why did they have to invade my new life now? Just when I felt like I was on solid ground again. It wasn't fair.

"Jude, you okay?" Callie asked sounding worried.

"Yeah…I'm just…reeling," I finally said closing my eyes.

"Yeah I know," Callie said after a moment.

"You have no idea," I said shaking my head. I took a deep breath before walking past her towards the door. Time to face the music and all the endless questions that were sure to follow, I couldn't wait. "Tell Lauren I need a break."

I didn't see the flash of guilt in Callie's eyes as I made my way over to the table that SME, Patsy and Kwest were sitting at. I pulled out an open chair that I know they had drug over for me. I was glad it was between Kwest and Patsy. From the glares Spied was shooting at me, he had already judged me and condemned me. I smiled on the inside, he was so like me. The male version of me to tell you the truth; we both jumped to conclusions without thinking things through.

"So…" I said when everybody just stared at me without saying anything. I hated silences, especially uneasy ones where you knew everybody was judging you.

"You look like you've landed on your feet," Kwest said smiling uneasily. I had no idea why he was uncomfortable. I know he had been my producer for a little while but it wasn't like we were really close.

"Looks can be deceiving," I said softly looking around at my surroundings. It was true that I was happy here but it was almost like I knew my time was limited here. Maybe Callie was right, I would go back eventually.

"So you ran away because of Tommy," Spied said coldly. He had been so relieved to see her but now all he felt was anger. How could this rock goddess run because of a boy? Especially Lil Tommy Q., an ex-boy bander. She was so much better than that; she was amazing. Why couldn't she see that?

"No I didn't," I said glaring back at him. I can't believe he thought that I would run away just because of Tommy. Okay, maybe he had been a deciding factor but not the total reason.

"Well it couldn't have been because of your career," Spied shot back. "I mean, even with you disappearing for two months, you are at the top of the charts."

"I wouldn't know, I haven't watched the news or read a paper in months," I said quietly.

"You've been nominated for a Grammy, best new artist," Spied said coldly.

"What!" I said genuinely surprised. "But the pictures?"

"What pictures?" Kwest and Spied asked together.

I shook my head, of course Darius wouldn't have told them about the photos. But wouldn't they have seen them in the newspapers along with the rest of the world? I was even more confused now.

"So how'd you end up here?" Patsy asked deciding a change in subject was in order.

"Buses, lots of them," I said clearing my throat. "I was walking, saw the sign for coffee and the rest is because of a very generous coffee shop owner and a new friend."

"So you're a waitress now," Spied said smirking at the uniform I was wearing. I remembered a conversation from not too long ago where we had been making fun of the waitresses at our favorite coffee shop back home. We'd been so happy we had real careers and didn't have to be, basically, a servant for undeserving people. Boy was I wrong.

"I'm actually pretty good…now," I said smiling at how horrible I used to be. "We were wrong, being a waitress is actually rewarding and it's taught me a lot."

"Serving people food and coffee is rewarding, yeah right," Spied said rolling his eyes.

"What would you know of real work Spied?" I asked really pissed off now. "You went from a garage band to signing a contract with G Major; you've never had to work a real job in your life. Maybe you wouldn't be such a snob and a prick if you had been a waiter. Maybe it would have taught you about thinking about other people besides yourself."

I stood up to walk away and had even made it to the counter until two words froze me in place. I couldn't have moved even if Lauren started yelling at me to serve customers.

"Tommy's back," Spied said coldly. I turned to face him and saw the calculating gleam in his eyes. He had to know what those words would do to me. He'd always known me almost as well as Jamie used to. But he didn't know this Jude. I just nodded and went back to work. I didn't notice them when they left, my mind to wrapped up in those two words and what they could mean for me. I didn't have any grand illusions of going back to Toronto and falling into Tommy's waiting arms. Maybe if my life was one of those romance novels Sadie was so fond of reading but sadly…my life was no romance novel. Besides, I was no where near ready to forgive him for the way he left in the first place. Leaving me screaming his name in the middle of a street, can we say jerk?

"Reunion didn't go as I'd hoped," Callie said softly from behind me. We had just closed the coffee shop and we were just finishing cleaning up. Callie had sent Lauren upstairs awhile ago, Callie and I had gotten used to closing together. It gave us time to talk about meaningless things and just be teenaged girls.

"How did you…" I asked confused but by the look in her eyes I realized how my friends had found me. "You told them I was here."

"Not exactly," Callie said feeling really guilty. "I read on G Major's website about Patsy's performance on TRL and made sure that they had gift certificates to the coffee shop. I figured you loved coffee, one of them was bound to love coffee too."

I closed my eyes feeling betrayed when I knew I wasn't being fair to her. I had yet to give her the whole real story of my leaving and she had only been trying to help me. "I can't believe you did that without telling me."

"I thought you'd be so excited to see them that you'd have hugs and kisses and see what you were missing out on," she said shrugging her shoulders then her face flushed when I gave her my famous 'are freaking nuts' look. "Okay so maybe I took my glass half full outlook on life a tad too far but I just thought…"

"Please don't think on my behalf anymore," I said trying to sound like I wasn't as angry as I felt but when Callie looked down at the counter I knew I hadn't done a very good job of hiding my feelings.

"I was trying to help," she said sadly.

"Well you didn't," I said turning when somebody knocked on the shops door.

Callie smiled when she saw one of the guys from earlier. "Maybe I did." She went and opened the door and let Kwest in with a smile. "Go easy on her," Callie whispered while she shut and locked the door again. "She's been in a zone since you left."

Kwest nodded and watched as Callie left him alone with Jude. He'd gone back to the hotel and made sure his artist and the band were settled, although he knew they wouldn't stay in one place. The only thing that kept him from babysitting all night was that they couldn't drink in the U.S., they were underage here.

"I'm sorry about Spied, he's just been worried," Kwest said.

I nodded. "I get that," I said softly walking over to the counter. I grabbed the rag from earlier and decided to wipe down the counter again. "I never meant to cause anybody that much trouble. Honestly, I didn't think anybody would worry."

"Oh c'mon Jude," Kwest said annoyed. "How 'bout your sister?"

"Sadie?" I said even more confused. Yeah we didn't fight as much since she'd broken up with Tommy and since she'd paid me back but we still weren't close. Half the time I still felt like she resented me.

"Yeah the only family you really had left," Kwest said beginning to pace back and forth. "I have never seen somebody cry like she did, the day after the police told her you were officially a runaway. I think she was hoping that you hadn't left on your own, like it would make it easier if you had been forced to leave. I think knowing you left on your own free will made it even harder on her."

"I don't understand," I said sitting down.

"You hurt her," Kwest said slowly. "She's still hurting."

"I didn't know I could hurt her," I admitted sadly.

"Why'd you run Jude?" Kwest asked after a long drawn out silence.

"The jury's still out on the reason," I said laughing even though I really felt like crying.

"You hurt a lot of people Jude," Kwest said shaking his head.

I looked away and stared at nothing in particular. I took a deep breath before continuing. "I didn't mean to, honestly, I just needed to get away. To breathe and just heal," I said closing my eyes.

"Are you coming back?" he asked the one question I didn't have the answer to.

"I don't know," I said quietly.

"Even though you know Tommy's back, you'd still stay away. You must really be angry," Kwest said shaking his head.

"Surprisingly, this has nothing really to do with him," I said seriously. I could see I had Kwest's full attention and decided to admit something out loud for once. "I was angry at Tommy but I ran away for entirely different reasons." I got up and walked towards him. "I lost a part of myself this past year. With changing who I am for G Major and then all the drama with Spied, my family and then…Tommy. I just couldn't breath anymore. It started with the night of my release party, for the first time that night, I felt like I had found the old Jude Harrison. I didn't want to lose that girl again; and the farther I got away from Toronto, the better I felt."

"Tommy misses you," Kwest said and for some strange reason, I believed him.

"Maybe he does," I said nodding. "But I think it's his turn to wonder if I'm coming back. I have been a doormat for him for so long that I can't make decisions because of my feelings for him. If I come back, it'll be for me. I'm happy here Kwest. I may be a waitress but I'm a happy one. When's the last time I wrote something as good as the song you heard tonight?"

"Since your last tour," Kwest admitted.

"I'm doing well here," I said smiling. "I know you're going to run home and tell everybody where I am but it doesn't matter." I looked around at the coffee shop and smiled. "I'm good here, just let them know that."

I walked away with every intention of going upstairs and going to sleep but Kwest's last sentence stopped me.

"You're wrong," Kwest said shaking his head. "You aren't happy here, maybe content but the Jude Harrison. The real Jude Harrison, she was the happiest when she was in the recording studio recording. She was happy writing a song with her producer. She may have pined after him knowing he would never return her feelings but that didn't mean she wasn't happy just sitting beside him." I turned to face him as he finished. "You'll never be as happy here as you were with him, in Toronto, making music together. You know that Jude. So when you stop running or hiding…come home and face the music. Tommy did."

I watched as he walked out of the shop and on auto pilot I locked the door and made my way upstairs. He was wrong, I was happy here. That life he described was my old life. I had a new one that worked for me. I just wish that, as I was laying in my bed later that night, I truly believed that.


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay I'm going to be honest here and tell you that this chapter is short. Really, really short but that's because I decided to break it into two chapters. Jude is coming back next chapter instead of adding her in at the end of this one, she gets her own chapter. Yeah Jude! So please don't hate, Jude's chapter is coming tomorrow. I promise. So R and R please! Thank you for everybody who reviewed the last chapter, it made my day.**

**Chapter 11**

**G Major**

"Sadie, is Darius in?" Kwest asked striding into G Major.

Sadie stood up and hurried to catch up with her boyfriend. "Yeah he's been in a meeting with Liam all morning. Where have you been?"

"Not now Sadie," Kwest said knocking on Darius's office door.

"Fine," Sadie said crossing her arms across her chest. She turned to hide the hurt in her eyes. She should be use to producers getting a huge head and ignoring their girlfriends. Hadn't she learned anything after the fiasco with Tommy? She never should have broken her rule, never date producers.

Kwest swore silently when he watched Sadie head back to her desk. He hadn't meant to hurt her but his mind was full of the events of New York. Plus he had been back for almost 24 hours and had yet to tell anybody about Jude's whereabouts, if she was even still there. He'd been ignoring Tommy's phone calls; it wasn't his place to tell Tommy where Jude was.

He heard Darius say come in but he walked back over to Sadie's desk and before she could say anything kissed her silent. When he pulled away her eyes were closed and she was breathing really heavily. "Don't compare me to Tommy; I just really need to talk to Darius." He tapped her nose with one of his fingers before walking back to Darius's office. "Dinner tonight, 7 be ready," he called over his shoulder.

He knocked again but opened the door without waiting for Darius to say anything. "Darius, we need to talk."

"I'm kind of in a meeting here," Darius said gesturing towards Liam.

"This is a little more important than this weeks record sales," Kwest said seriously.

"Liam, we'll continue this later," Darius said rolling his eyes. His producers always thought they had the next big thing, but if Kwest thought anything Patsy had done in New York was the 'next big thing' he was in for a rude awakening. "Now what could be more important than G Major's record sales? And please don't say anything about New York."

"Judes," Kwest started to say and he waited until he had Darius's full attention. "There, in New York. She's been there this whole time."

"You saw her," Darius said standing up.

"Better than that, we talked to her," Kwest said going on to tell him about some of there conversation. He left the Tommy parts out; he didn't think Darius needed to know they had dangled him in front of Jude like a bone with a dog. Kwest only hoped that she wanted Tommy like most dogs wanted a bone.

"Did you tell her Tommy was back?" Darius asked after a moment.

"Why would that matter?" Kwest asked stalling.

"That would be reason enough for her to come back," Darius pointed out like Kwest was stupid.

"Yes we told her about Tommy," Kwest said after debating the issue one more time. "She didn't seem too excited about him being back though. She was intrigued but I think he did some major damage there."

"Did she tell you why she ran?" Darius asked sitting back down slowly.

"Not really, just that she needed to breathe," Kwest said shaking his head. He never understood the way a woman's mind worked. When he needed to breathe he drove around, produced a song, and got drunk, he didn't run to another country.

"Do you think she'll come back?"

"Honestly, I don't know," Kwest admitted feeling like he failed somehow. He knew it wasn't his job to make sure she came back but with Darius looking at him and with him dating her sister, he felt like he should have been able to do more.

"Write down where she is, maybe I'll pay her a little visit," Darius said leaning back in his desk chair. This wasn't something he had been planning. He'd almost given up hope on every finding out where Jude had run off to. Maybe he'd have to take off a couple days and pay Jude a visit himself. Darius looked down at his desk calendar and decided to give Jude 'til the end of the week. He didn't want to get tough with her but she was his biggest money maker, but besides that, he was genuinely worried. He'd grown to think of her like a daughter. He knew her home life was dysfunctional at best; he picked up his phone and gave his real estate agent a call. Jude was going to need a new place to stay.


	12. Chapter 12

**Here you go, I told yall I was going to update today! It's longer than my last update and I hope you all like Callie's story. There's more to come on her in the future of this story. Lots more, she has some challenges coming her own way. Now some people think I should end this story with this chapter and then make a sequel for the rest. I'm not going to say yes or no. I'm going to let you decide. Would you like me to end this one here and start the sequel tomorrow. Or just keep it one long story. It's up to you. Review and give me your opinion. Thank you.**

**Chapter 12**

**Jude's POV**

It had been two days since Kwest had accused me of hiding. It stung, I never thought I'd be the kind of person who would run away and ignore my problems. For two days I had been trying to find the courage to tell Lauren and Callie that I had to leave. But I didn't want to leave. I loved working here…singing here. I didn't have to answer to any producers or a controlling label. I answered to myself here and it was liberating.

"Should I stay or go," I sang strumming a chord on my guitar but I made a face. It didn't matter if I sang it or spoke it, I had to answer the question regardless and my guitar wasn't speaking up.

"You should go," Callie said from behind me.

I whipped my head around and stared at her in surprise. I would have thought today was the perfect day to come up to the roof and make up my mind. American Idol was on and it was Callie's favorite show. All she ever talked about was how she should audition because she could easily win.

I thought the show was a joke, much like I thought the Instant Star competition was a joke. You don't go on TV and sing covers of songs and let America vote who wins. It's a popularity contest. At least on Instant Star you had to perform your own music, but it was still a joke.

"Did you hear me?" Callie asked walking over until she could sit down beside me.

"Yeah," I finally muttered looking down at my guitar.

"No reply, no hell no I'm not going back because I'm a coward and I'm afraid to face the music," Callie said purposely pissing me off.

"I'm not being a coward, there are some really big issues at work here," I said glaring at her. "And I have no music to face, they let me go, I had every right to move to New York."

"You call running away in the middle of the night moving," Callie said sarcastically. "It was running, the same way I did it years ago. I had no choice but you did. You have a family back in Toronto. I had nothing." There was something in Callie's voice that made me look at her, there was a story there.

"Care to share," I said thinking about all the stuff I had told her about my life.

"It's nothing you haven't heard before," Callie said shaking her head. When I just stared at her she rolled her eyes. "Look, my mom died when I was fifteen and I got placed in the system. I know you're from Canada but I figure your social services program can't be that much different from ours."

"I'm sure it's not," I said remembering some of the horror stories I had heard about Canada's social services.

"Well to put it mildly, it was bad," Callie said softly. "I stayed in a group home for awhile, in the old days they called them orphanages. But a couple months went by and I got placed in a foster family."

"It was bad," I said drawing my own conclusions.

"Oh the parents weren't bad," Callie said smiling. "They were great. They were foster parents who really just wanted to help kids finish school in a supportive environment. Truth is, living there was better than any day living with my own ma. They had two kids of their own and I loved them like they were my own brother and sister."

"They had…"I repeated slowly.

"Tasha, their oldest daughter use to follow me around. She was ten and she just idolized me I guess you could say," Callie said going into a zone. Tears were streaming down her face but she made no moves to wipe them away. "I fell into a bad crowd anyway…you can take the girl out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl. I told Tasha to stay home but I knew she never listened to me." Callie stood up and walked over so she could look over the edge of the building. "I remember the sound of the squealing tires and then hearing the gunshots. I hit the pavement and I laughed when I realized all my 'friends' were okay. But then somebody started screaming."

"Oh god," I said softly picturing it in my head.

"She was ten years old," Callie said her voice trembling. "If I had never moved into that house she would still be alive. They never blamed me…never said out loud they blamed me. But they did, I know they did. How could they not?"

"So you ran."

"Lived on the streets for awhile," Callie went on like I hadn't even said anything. "I slowly made my way to New York City. I'm originally from Minnesota; I figured I should get as far away as I can."

"Callie I'm sorry," I said softly.

"I ran away because I had no choice," Callie said turning to face me. "I had nowhere to go but you do. Go home Jude. Go home and release another album. Go home and party with your friends, moon over your producer, be 17."

"It's not that easy," I said thinking about the blackmailer.

"It's never easy to admit you were wrong," Callie said softly.

"I'm not so sure I was wrong," I said trying to explain the way I felt. "When I got on that bus that night, I have never felt more alone and scared in my life. But when I saw the sign Now Leaving Toronto, I took a deep breath and I felt ten times better. By the time we crossed the border into the United States; I was smiling and talking with the other passengers. I feel so free here. I am writing songs again and actual good ones that Darius wouldn't spit on."

"Then don't you think you should go home and show them to him," Callie said sitting back down beside me. "Let his biggest money maker make him a couple more million dollars."

"I'm afraid to go home," I finally admitted. "What if I go back there and I lose it all? What if I can't sing like I do here? What if I can't write the songs I have been writing here? I don't think I can go back there and be the Jude Harrison they are all expecting."

"Then don't," Callie said making a face. "Who says you have to be who they want you to be?" She smiled at me. "But I think you're being a little unfair towards your friends. Cause the friends I saw here, they would never want you to be anything then yourself. That one guy, the one that brought up Tommy." I rolled my eyes when I realized she must have been doing a lot of eavesdropping lately. "He cares a lot about you. A hell of a lot."

"Spied," I said still a little pissed at the way he acted.

"I don't know any names but they all seemed to really miss you," Callie said. "Especially that sister of yours. If I had a sister back in California, I'd be there right now."

I nodded my head in agreement. I still couldn't believe Sadie missed me as much as Kwest had led me to believe. But if he was right and she did, I was going to feel guilty for a long time.

"Go home Jude Harrison," Callie said starting to stand up.

I stopped her by grabbing her hand. "I will…on one condition."

"What's that?" Callie asked confused.

"You come with me," I said smirking when she froze. "You want to be a singer. You want to make music for the rest of your life, here's your chance. I know once Darius hears your voice he'll sign you."

"I can't leave Lauren," Callie said still unsure.

"That's a cop out," I said shaking my head. "If you want to sing and make a career out of it, come home with me. Darius will make you a star," I said issuing the challenge. Now it was up to Callie to accept it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay everybody, I kept it with just one long story. Sorry Jess, I knew you were voting towards breaking the story into two stories but you were the only one so...you lost. But I am continuing the story so yeah me. I hope you like this chapter and I will update one more time before Saturday but then it'll be more than a week before I update again. I'm heading off to Disney for a week and then back to Minnesota for a couple days for my best friends wedding. So yeah, there will be a break but when I come back I promise to update ASAP. Okee Dokee. Enjoy! R and R**

**Chapter 13**

**Jude's POV**

I could feel my stomach start to tighten up when I read the Welcome to Toronto sign. The trip away from my home had taken forever but as the bus drew near the bus depot and I knew the confrontations would begin soon, I grew nauseous. I still believed I'd done the right thing. I had needed to get away and it had been my only option. I didn't want to defend myself against everyone either, the way I had with Spied. The only person I really was afraid of their opinion was Sadie.

I had missed her in my months away. I had never thought us close but I'd come to realize I counted on her for a hell of a lot. She'd helped me through my parents troubles, had been as supportive as she could be during the Tommy fiasco and she'd even given up on the whole jealousy thing (well a little bit anyways). I really regret not letting her know where I was and that I was okay. She was the only person I would allow to make me feel like crap for running away. Everybody else better shut their mouths because I did what I had to do to move on.

"Oh my gawd, it is so damn cold here," Callie said stepping off the bus.

"It's only like ten degrees cooler," I said rolling my eyes.

"Feels like twenty," Callie said rubbing her arms.

"If you'd wear more than a tank top and shorts, maybe you wouldn't be freezing," I said waiting for my duffle and Callie's suitcase.

"I love this shirt; it's the same one I ran away in from Minnesota. Look where I ended up after that," Callie said referring to Lauren and the coffee shop. "It's my lucky shirt."

"You don't need luck here Callie," I said walking towards all the waiting cabs. "Just your voice and your confidence."

"If you say so," Callie said still sounding doubtful.

They were in the cab and on their way to a local hotel when Callie finally asked the question that had been nagging her the entire day. "Why are we staying in a hotel when you have a home here?"

"I might not be welcome," I said softly.

"Your family would really do that," Callie said surprised. She'd read on a website that her family was really supportive and wanted her to go all the way and achieve all her dreams. When she said that out loud I snorted.

"They were for about five minutes but then my Dad was having an affair, Sadie was so jealous she couldn't see straight and my Mom never really wanted me to get a record deal this young."

"But you're like huge," Callie said confused.

"My Mom wanted college for me," I explained. "Nothing I did or said would appease her that I would go to college someday. Basically I was the only one living in the house and I doubt my father continued to pay for a house that has been sitting empty this long. Sadie is in college and I can't exactly have us bunking in a dorm room. Jamie lives with his parents and I know I'd be welcome there…I just want to have some privacy."

Callie nodded like she understood but I could tell she was still confused. My family defined the word dysfunctional. I couldn't explain it without taking hours and I didn't want to dwell on my family. I wanted to focus on what I was going to say to Darius. He was going to be disappointed in me and normally that wouldn't phase me but I wanted to start working again. I had some good material and it was emotional and I had written it all without Tommy. Okay so maybe it was all about him but he didn't have any creative input.

"Jude, we're here," Callie said looking at me like she was worried about me. I hated worrying people.

"Please don't worry about me," I said quietly as I made sure to hide in the lobby while Callie checked us in. All I needed was some hotel clerk to recognize me and announce I was back before I was ready to announce it.

"Top floor," Callie said smiling. It took forever to reach the top floor but soon we were in the suite and Callie had already searched every inch and was currently in the mini fridge going on about the cute little drinks.

I walked into the bathroom and shut the door. I turned the sink on and stared down at the water running down the drain. I was having a hard time breathing again. I hated feeling like this. I had thought it was all behind me. I looked into the mirror. I looked the same, nothing much had changed since I left. I was angry as I noted my appearance. I had changed so much in these past two months, it should show. I glared at my reflection, hating the blonde hair, the make up that I hated putting on but I could still hear Portia and Sadie urging to try more and more different styles of make up.

It only took a moment for me to realize what I needed to do. I turned off the water and opened the bathroom door. "C'mon Callie, I need you to buy me something."

"Huh…what?" Callie asked turning off the TV.

"I need you to buy me something," I said more slowly making Callie roll her eyes.

"I heard what you said; I meant what do you need me to buy?" Callie asked curiously standing up and grabbing her purse from the end table.

"Hair dye," I said opening our hotel room door.

"Ooohh, are you going red again?" Callie asked excitedly.

I walked towards the elevator without answering her. I didn't know what color I was going to go with. Last time I chose blonde because it's what Darius had been hinting at and I thought Tommy preferred blondes. I mean, he did choose Sadie over me, thought he would probably disagree with me. I just knew I needed a change and the only thing within my reach was my hair. I just hope it turned out okay.


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry about the delay everybody but I've been recovering from the vacation and then everybody's been sick. We have one hell of a cold going around here and it's kicking all of our a$$'s. So yeah, but here's the latest update. I should update again tomorrow hopefully, God willing. So R and R please! Let me know what you think.**

**Chapter 14**

It only takes thirty minutes to dye your hair but when you can't see it change during the thirty minutes, it feels like it takes forever. I've only dyed my hair once before and I watched it change. I saw it go from red to blonde. It had been nerve wracking of course but it had also been like a coming of age for me. I had been shedding my immature rebellious inner child and had become the woman I was three months ago.

But I'm not that same person. I am more independent, I've learned that I can survive in this messed up world by myself. I left Toronto with a broken heart but I was coming back with a full one again. I had regained some of that rebellious nature which was good. I had become too complacent; it was time to be Jude Harrison again. I just hope that when I walk into G Major tonight, I projected the new me and that I didn't revert back to the old me.

"Well girl, you definitely got a change," Callie said making my stomach drop.

"I'm so glad I didn't go black," I said imagining me with black hair.

"I wasn't going to dye your hair black Jude," Callie said for the fifth time. She rolled her eyes as she ran my brush through it one last time. "I was going to dye the underside black and the top platinum blonde."

"So I could be Avril Lavigne? " I closed my eyes as I turned around and didn't open them until I counted to ten. "Wow," I said turning my head from side to side.

"It's red but it's more brownish red," Callie said crossing her arms over her chest. "This makes you look so much older."

"Just the look I was going for," I said softly turning my head from side to side so I could see all of it. Callie was right though, it made me look older and when I looked into the mirror, I had found a piece of me I had lost through the last year. I just have more confidence with red hair and it's who I am. I never should have changed for the business but you live and learn.

"What time are you heading to G Major?" Callie asked throwing away the dye kit.

"Ten minutes," I said softly running my fingers through my hair. "And the right question is when are we, leaving for G Major."

"Oh no, I'm not going today," Callie said leaving the bathroom to walk into the living room. "You are bound to get yelled at and any chance I have at possibly working with G Major would be shot to hell."

"Why do you say that?" I asked confused.

"I'm from New York, the place you ran to. The place you almost didn't leave because for some strange reason you feel like you are happier there. They could look at me like I'm part of the problem," she explained sitting down on the couch.

"Or they could ask for you to sing and sign you there after," I shot back walking over to the full length mirror. I wasn't dressed like the rock star Portia had had me become. I looked like any normal 17 year old with my dark blue jeans with the strategically placed holes in them and my I heart NYC t-shirt. I wanted to walk into Darius's office and just be real with him. He may not even want me back. I don't know if they caught the blackmailer but considering nobody had much to go on, I'm sure they didn't.

"I still think it's a bad idea," Callie said shaking her head.

"Doesn't matter, get your purse," I said putting my sunglasses on. I put my jacket on as I headed for the door knowing that she would follow me. She wanted this bad enough and I new the players. She would take my orders now but I would pay for them later. Callie didn't take orders quietly.

The ride to G Major was in silence, with the cab driver looking at us both like he was trying to place us. I mentally called myself an idiot for giving him G Major's address. He would figure out who I was eventually and the reporters would be all over us within an hour from his phone call.

"So this is G Major," Callie said standing beside me on the sidewalk five minutes later. She looked nervous but excited. I had a feeling I just looked tired.

"This is G Major," I said taking a deep breath before opening the door. I glanced out of the corner of my eye and sighed with relief when I saw Sadie's desk was empty. That is one confrontation I am happy I can put off. I still don't know what I'm going to say to her and I'm not ready to hear what she has to say to me.

I wanted to swear when I saw Kwest and he looked at me before really looking at me. He smirked and nodded his head like he knew I would come back. I really hate when people think they really know me when they don't. It just bugs me.

I grabbed Darius's door handle and started to turn it when Callie ripped my hand away.

"You aren't even going to knock!" she hissed. "This is Darius freaking Mills and you think you can just waltz into his office. I'm definitely not getting signed at this rate."

"Relax," I whispered finally smiling as I once again grabbed the door handle and opened the door. The smile disappeared before Darius saw me. I watched as he sat there, behind his desk, with his pen in one hand and his other held a coffee cup. He didn't look surprised or even confused. He just sat there, staring at me like he was waiting for me to say something. He knew I hated uncomfortable silences dammit.

"So Kwest told you where I was," I said walking fully into the room. I didn't bother sitting down, I didn't know if this would be a friendly visit or him showing me the door.

"He didn't tell me you were coming back," Darius said after another moment of silence.

"He didn't know for sure," I admitted. "I didn't know for sure, until a friend told me I had to come back. At least to see if anything was still here."

"And this would be that friend," Darius said turning his face to look at Callie.

"My name is Callie," she said walking forward and held out her hand for him to shake.

"And let me guess, you think you can sing and want to be a star," Darius said without taking her hand.

"Wrong," Callie said crossing her arms over her chest. "I know I can sing and I'm already a star."

"She's good D," I said smiling softly at the two of them.

"Better than you," Darius said leaning back in his chair.

"Different," I said not rising to the bait.

"So why'd you come back?" Darius asked not revealing anything with any sort of facial expression.

"At this moment, I'm not sure," I said beginning to get frustrated. Darius wasn't talking and I didn't want to come right out ask if I still had a job. I wasn't sure I still wanted my job here. Knowing Tommy was back didn't make my decision any easier. A part of me wanted to confront him and demand explanations but another part of me just wanted to walk away and let go. There is so much drama here and I had grown accustomed to a drama free life.

"Callie will you step outside for a moment, I would like to talk to Jude," Darius said standing up. He waited until she had shut the door behind her before turning to face me. It was so quite you could have heard a pin drop and I closed my eyes knowing that the yelling was soon to come. Or he could decide to do the icy stare that was even worse than the yelling. Darius could make me feel guilty just by one glance.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been?" he asked quietly.

I opened my eyes and looked at him in total confusion. I had never heard him use that tone of voice before, or if I had, it was never directed at me. He'd used it with Shay and Portia but never me. I always got the frustrated, aggravated tone of voice.

"Don't worry, nobody knew who I was in New York," I said sarcastically.

"Do you think that matters?" he asked carefully in a controlled way. "I wasn't worried about you as your record label head but as your friend. When you left here that day, I thought for sure you'd just go home or to the farmhouse and you'd pout or write a decent song. If I had thought for one minute that you'd run away, you never would have left this office."

"Darius, you have no control over my decisions anymore, you laid me off," I said getting angry.

"Are you even listening to me, this has nothing to do with G Major," Darius said beginning to pace. "You have become more than an artist to me. I was worried about you when you showed me those pictures. About you as a person. You were violated by somebody, a stranger and I know that had to hurt."

"I try not to dwell on it," I said finally sitting down. Mostly because I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

"You should, we haven't found the punk," Darius said sitting beside me. "I'm glad you're back and you can have your producer back whenever you want him. I think it's time you start recording again."

"I thought we needed to take a break because of the mess I got myself in," I said finally giving him a little smile.

"I was wrong," Darius admitted surprising me even more. "Besides, you'll be onstage in about a month and I think it's time the public heard a new song."

"What stage…." I said trying to think of any concert I had to give. Darius never would have signed me up for something unless he knew for sure I'd have been there.

"Jude, you've been nominated for a Grammy," Darius said smiling.

"I've what," I said softly. I sat there for about a minute before standing up. "I've been nominated for a Grammy. A freaking Grammy!" I barely noticed Darius standing up as I just started screaming and jumping up and down. It was a total girly thing to do but this has been my dream since forever and it was finally coming true. I was finally getting recognized and in America. It was almost too much.

"So what do you say," Darius said pulling me in for a hug. "Would you like your producer back?"

"Kwest?" I asked hopefully. I didn't want to have to deal with Tommy on top of my homecoming and all the songs I'd written were about him. I just wasn't ready to let him back in again.

"If that's who you want," Darius said carefully. He smiled sadly, he could see the pain in her eyes and he wanted to smack Tommy for putting it there. First he broke Portia's heart and now Jude's. He had some serious work ahead of him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Here's the latest update. I didn't make it by Friday but I only missed it by 39 minutes. So I tried people! I just want to thank you all for the reviews and the story's going to get really good from here. Lots of Jommy moments to come. I am excited to write them. R and R please!1**

**Chapter 15**

I followed Darius out of his office and into the lobby of G Major and I just have to smile when I see Callie sitting on the couch surrounded by a couple interns I'd never met before and Kwest. I looked at Sadie's desk quickly but she still wasn't there.

"She leaves at three everyday," Darius said also taking notice of Callie. "So have you come back with any new material or did you forget about your career on your little hiatus?"

"I have a couple songs that hold promise, "I said making sure nobody really noticed me. I stood behind Darius, slightly hidden. I knew it was going to be a big deal that I was back but I wasn't ready to have the big celebration and answer all their questions.

"Do you have any prepared or are they still works in progress?" he asked walking towards Studio A.

"They're done," I said following making sure not to make eye conduct with anyone but Callie. She looked excited and completely in her element sitting on the couch gabbing with complete strangers.

"Kwest! Callie, that's her name right?" Darius said walking into the studio and he sat down behind the board and as soon as Kwest walked in the room he gestured to the chair next to him. "I want to record this."

I looked at Callie and she shrugged her shoulders. She shut the door and walked towards the couch against the back wall. This was probably her first time in a recording studio and I didn't want to disappoint her so I strolled through the connecting door into the recording room and grabbed a guitar and made sure it was in tune. As soon as I made the corrections I sat down on a stool and pulled the microphone closer.

"This one is titled My Heart Can't Let You Go," I said going back to the first song I wrote in New York. When all the pain I had felt had finally made its way onto paper. This song had been my way of letting go of Tommy and my feelings for him.

_Here sitting all alone  
In the stillness of my room  
Where I once dreamed of me and you  
There's a breeze around me  
A memory that chills me to the bone  
It's tearing me apart _

My Heart can't let you go  
Though I try to break away  
It haunts me every night  
But the ghost of you won't fade  
You've hypnotized my soul  
My heart can't let you go

"It's too depressing," Darius said quietly to Kwest. He couldn't put this on a CD and she couldn't sing this at the Grammy's.

"It will go over real well with the female audience," Kwest said making changes to the board. He did agree with Darius though, the song was really depressing.

_  
Now I try and turn the page  
I know I must move on  
But I never get too far  
It's you alone I want  
There's a touch that's missing  
An emptiness that I've never known  
And I don't know where to start  
It's tearing me apart  
My Heart can't let you go  
Though I try to break away  
It haunts me every night  
But the ghost of you won't fade  
You've hypnotized my soul  
My heart can't let you go_

"You guys don't even get why she's singing this song, do you?" Callie asked surprised. She'd heard Jude singing this song a number of times and it still made her eyes tear up. "She's purging herself of all the feelings. She saying one last goodbye to all her feelings for him." Callie stressed the word 'him', everybody in this room knew exactly who she was talking about. 

No matter how hard I pretend  
You might be coming back  
Don't wanna face the fact  
Every story has an end

I took a moment to will the tears back and when I had control of them, I walked back into the studio. Callie smiled and gave me thumbs up but Darius just sat back in his chair and stared at me. I knew he hated the song. I think Darius hated any song that really came from the heart.

"Have you got that out of your system?" Darius asked sounding more curious than anything else.

"I think so," I said knowing exactly what he was talking about. I just didn't know the answer.

"Good because starting tomorrow, Tommy's your producer," he said standing up.

"But Darius…" I said shocked. I thought for sure when he called Kwest into the studio he had made him my producer again.

"You need to move on for real Jude," Darius said stopping at the door. "He has his reasons for doing what he did. Maybe if you two work together you can really deal with why you both left."

I watched Darius walk out before turning to Kwest. "I have a feeling he's not giving me a choice in the matter."

"Give him a chance," Kwest said glancing at his watch. Tommy would be here any moment to go over tomorrow's schedule and well…he didn't think Jude was ready for the reunion yet.

"How's Sadie?" I asked changing the subject.

"She's busy with college and her job here," Kwest said honestly. "She's finally started sleeping again. She's changed Jude, she's not the same woman she was three months ago. I think it comes from being completely abandoned by everyone in her family."

"Kwest," I said hurt. I didn't abandon her…I just hadn't thought of her at all. Which made me the worst sister in the world.

"Hey Kwest did D give you the schedule yet?" Tommy asked walking through the doorway.

Everybody froze well, except Callie who was smiling and jumping up and down because I'm guessing, she had just seen her first crush in person. He hadn't changed at all. He looked exactly the same, he was even wearing the 'oh shit' face he always got when I surprised him.

"I gotta go," I said slipping past him and out the door.

"Hello, my name is Callie and I was probably your biggest fan but right now, I have to go be a best friend and save her from herself," she said grabbing Tommy's hand and shaking it quickly before hurrying after me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tommy stared out the door even thought minutes had gone by since Jude had left. He still couldn't believe she had been here. Barely four feet in front of him and he hadn't done anything to stop her from leaving. She was gorgeous with the new hair, he'd always liked it better red.

He slowly sat down beside Kwest and finally asked the question that had been going through his head since he laid his eyes on her. "When'd she get back?"

"I'm guessing tonight man," Kwest said ejecting the CD he'd made of Jude's song. Tommy definitely didn't need to hear it and it wasn't like they would be using the song for anything.

"What's that?" Tommy asked noticing the CD.

"Nothing," Kwest replied putting it in a jewel case.

"It's obviously not nothing," Tommy said reaching for it. He wrestled it away from Kwest and put it back into the CD player and pressed play. He froze when he heard Jude's voice and then swore softly when he heard the title. The song wasn't much better and Tommy mentally called himself a bunch of names that he would never admit to out loud. He hated hearing the pain in her voice, hated knowing he caused all of it.

"She's in a lot of pain," Kwest commented.

"I really hurt her," Tommy said still sounding a little surprised.

"Oh c'mon Tommy, you knew how much she cared," Kwest said pissed off. He stood up and backed away from Tommy because he really wanted to smack him upside the head. "You knew how she felt about you when she was 15. You were the biggest bastard towards her but she never cared. It was always you for her, even when she was with other boys, she wanted you."

"I know," Tommy said softly.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Darius asked from the door. When Tommy just shrugged his shoulders he rolled his eyes. "You will be he producer starting tomorrow and you have exactly one month to write a song and record it for the Grammy performance. I think you have a lot of work ahead of you if she can't stand to be in the same room with you."

"You can't be serious," Tommy said even though he didn't know what he was worried about. Darius had just handed him the perfect opportunity to spend time with the one woman he wanted more than anything in the whole world. He should be jumping for joy but instead he was complaining.

"Oh I am," Darius said smiling. "Fix it Tom."

Tommy watched him walk out and then stood up when Kwest started to leave. "You can't leave to, I have to talk to someone about this."

"Sorry but I have a date with Sadie," Kwest said before following Darius. He was sick of the whole Tommy Jude drama and he couldn't sit there and listen to Tommy talk it to death. He just wished they would admit their feelings or cut each other loose.

Tommy slowly sat back down and looked at the CD player. He pressed play and leaned back to listen to her song again. It gave him chills to hear the emotion in her voice. She was so young but she sang like she was old, like she'd lived an entire life already. Tommy closed his eyes and tried to think of what he would say to Jude tomorrow. He didn't want to come right out and tell her about Aubrey but I didn't want to hide it either. Someone was bound to tell her and he couldn't let that happen. He wanted to tell her why he left and why he came back. He had to be the one to tell her or it wouldn't mean a thing. He just wished he knew the words.


	16. Chapter 16

**Here's another update! Man I am doing so good, I've updated three days in a row. I hope I can keep this up but it's hard with all my favorite TV shows on again (well besides Instant Star). My Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays are full. So I'll try to update as fast as I can. But until then, here's the latest chapter and I really like this one. I hope you do to. R and R please!**

**Oh yeah and thanks for all the reviews. It really makes my day to read them. I save them all in a folder in my email so I can read them whenever I want!**

**Chapter 16**

"Where are you going?" Callie asked after catching up with me a block away from G Major. She had heels on so she was swearing as she tried to keep up with me.

"Away," was all I could think to say. My heart was still beating a mile a minute from standing so close to Tommy. When I first saw him all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and never let go but that isn't part of my plan of letting go and moving on. So I had to get away until I control my emotions.

"I think you were supposed to stay and talk to him," Callie said grabbing my arm. "Okay, we have to stop running down the street because I'm going to break an ankle and I would really like to keep my ankles in one piece."

"He looked so right," I said looking at Callie. I hope I don't look as lost and confused as I feel. "I don't want to start feeling this way again."

"What way?" Callie asked hailing a cab.

"All nauseous and scared," I said climbing in the cab behind her.

"Where to?" The cab driver asked us pulling out into traffic.

I gave him Sadie's address. I wasn't sure what I was doing but I knew if I didn't see her tonight, she'd find out by some intern that I was back. I couldn't let that happen, she had to hear it from me.

"So I'm taking it I get to witness another reunion?" Callie asked laying her head back against the headrest.

"I have to see my sister," I said mentally trying to figure out what the hell I was going to say to her. I didn't want to go to her with excuses because she was probably the only person besides Tommy and Jamie who could read me.

It was a short drive to the university and soon we were standing in front of her dorm building. I took a deep breath before making the long trek to her dorm room. I could hear the whispers from the people we passed wondering if I was really Jude Harrison. Some of them sounded excited but most of them were rude.

I stopped in front of Sadie's door and took another deep breath before knocking. I heard her say it was unlocked and closed my eyes and opened the door.

"Hey Kwest, you're…" Sadie said turning to face the door but she stopped mid-sentence when she saw me standing there. "Jude?"

"Hey Sadie," I said quietly. I waved at her like an idiot and then added, "I'm back."

"I hate you," Sadie said hurrying over to pull me into a hug. She was squeezing me so hard that I couldn't breathe but I was squeezing her just as hard. "I really, really, really, really hate you."

"I can tell," I said feeling the tears run down my face but I didn't let go to wipe them away. I hadn't realized how much I missed my sister until this moment. We fought so much that I never would have thought that seeing her would bring me to tears. But I guess with Mom MIA and Dad wrapped up in his mistress, Sadie was all I had.

"If you had to run, why didn't you take me with you?" Sadie asked after finally pulling away.

"Because I'm incredibly selfish and could only see my pain," I answered honestly.

"I didn't know you were in that much pain either," Sadie replied wiping away her tears. "I think we both can be incredibly selfish.'

"Yeah, but look at our parents," I said making us both laugh.

"I don't want to be like them," Sadie said softly.

"Me either." I sat down beside her on the couch in the living room. "So Kwest was dropping by huh?"

"How did you know that?" Sadie asked glancing at Callie a couple times.

"You thought I was Kwest," I said smiling.

"We're dating," she said smiling at the thought of him. "Seriously dating."

"I thought no more producers Sadie," I teased.

"Kwest is different," Sadie said shaking her head. "He could never be To---." She cut her self off but not before we all knew who she was going to say. After a moment of uncomfortable silence Sadie changed the subject. "So who's your friend?"

"Sadie this is Callie." I waited while they shook hands before continuing. "She's the reason I came back and the reason I didn't go completely mad these past months."

"Thank you Callie," Sadie said giving her a genuine smile. "I missed having my 'lil sis to pick on."

"Hey I just gave her a kick in the ass," Callie said making Sadie laugh. "She was just afraid to face the music."

"And the music wasn't that hard to face," I said thinking about how nice Darius had been. "Well except for…you know."

"I don't know," Sadie said looking between Callie and me.

"Darius made Tommy my producer when I specifically asked for Kwest," I said still sounding a little ticked off.

"You make the best music with Tommy," Sadie pointed out.

"That was the old me," I argued. "The new me doesn't need anybody to write amazing music, I do it on my own. Besides, I don't want to be around him. I'm through begging for whatever scrap of attention he throws my way. I want my heart back and if I'm around him I'll hand it to him on a silver platter."

"Jude," Sadie said shaking her head. "It doesn't matter if you're around him or if you are a thousand miles away. Tom Quincy will always have a piece of your heart. Plus I think you should sit down and talk to him. Be completely honest with him and let him be completely honest with you. I think he might surprise you."

"I thought you hated Tommy," I said confused. Why was my sister, the girl Tommy had used and thrown away like she meant nothing basically telling me to give him a chance? It didn't make any sense.

"Because I grew up and quit competing with you for everything," she said being honest this time. "I never wanted Tommy for any other reason except for the fact he used to be a member of Boyz Attack. He was an image for me, nothing more. Plus once I found out you liked him, it was like the icing on the cake. I could make you mad and jealous while flaunting him to all my friends."

"Man you two must have really been close," Callie said sarcastically.

"No, I was jealous of Jude," Sadie said sadly. "But I'm not anymore. I admit I wish I could sing like you, get all the free clothes like you and have all the attention sometimes but now I have Kwest. He gives me all the attention I need."

"Awww, make me sick," I said pretending to gag. I waited until everyone had quit laughing before asking the one question that had been bugging me since sitting on the couch. "Why are you being so nice? Kwest told me how angry you were, how hurt, I thought for sure you were going to lay into me."

"I was mad, still am but not at you. I'm mad at Darius for putting so much pressure on you for no reason. I'm mad at Mom for running off with Don and leaving you without a Mom when you need one most," Sadie said making me tear up again. "I'm mad at Dad for throwing away both of us like we are last weeks trash. But most of all I'm mad at myself for not being there for you when Tommy left. I should have been there; you shouldn't have felt all alone like you did."

"Don't be mad at yourself Sadie," I said grabbing one of her hands with both of mine. "It was never your fault. Honestly it was my fault. I'm the only reason I ran and I have to accept that."

"Well, I'm just glad you landed on your feet," Sadie said smiling at Callie. She opened her mouth to say more but there was another knock on the door. "It's open!"

We were all smiling when Kwest walked through the door. "Oh sorry," he said pausing in the doorway.

"It's okay Kwest, I know all about your affair with my sister," I joked.

"Hey babe," Sadie said walking over to him to give him a kiss. "I think I'm going to have to cancel tonight. I'd like to spend the night with my sister."

"I kind of thought that might be the case," Kwest said handing her a bag from the local grocery store.

"What's this?" Sadie asked confused but then she started laughing when she opened the bag. "Ice cream, candy and soda, all the things we need to have a slumber party."

"How'd you know I'd come here next?" I asked watching as Sadie and Callie put the groceries away a few minutes later.

"I know you Jude," Kwest said smiling down at me. "You wouldn't want Sadie to find out from anybody else, so you had to tell her tonight. By the way, you owe me. This was supposed to be our first date in over a week."

"I'll pay you back," I said smiling at my sister who was laughing at something Callie said. It felt so right to be sitting in my sister's dorm room laughing and joking with Callie and Kwest. I'd missed this without even realizing it 'til now. There was only one bad thought preying on my mind and that was how in the hell was I going to get through tomorrow working with Tommy?


	17. Chapter 17

**Here's the latest update everybody. Sorry it took me this long but I had a hard time with this chapter. I hope you all like it and I promise promise promise that there is some happy Tommy and Jude moments coming up. Tommy's going to prove himself to everybody again. I know I can't wait. How 'bout you? R and R please!**

**Thank you to everybody who reviews. I love all of them and it puts a big smile on my face when I read them. So thank you so much!**

**Chapter 17**

Callie and I walked into G Major the next morning two hours late. I had the alarm clock for seven pm instead of am so I was sure the wrath of Tommy would fall upon me as soon as he saw me. I smiled when I saw Sadie arguing with Liam, she was holding her own which was new. Before I left she always bowed down to whatever he said, it was nice to see a little fight in her again.

"You're late," Kwest said falling into step beside me as I made my way towards Studio A.

"Maybe everybody else is just early," I said giving him a hopeful smile.

"Tommy won't see it that way," Kwest said before he gave me a small smile in return. "You know it's all about time and money now at G Major. You just wasted two hours if he doesn't lecture you, Darius will."

"I'd rather have Darius," I said honestly. After yesterday I wasn't exactly sure where I stood on the Tommy situation. I wasn't over him. I could lie to Sadie, to Callie, even Darius but I could never lie to myself. It was still there, the feeling that always washes over me when he is near. There's still pain and even a little fear now too. Fear that I'll let him in again and he'll break my heart again. Even more than before. I don't think my heart could handle that.

"Good luck," Kwest said before moving on to Studio B. He had a full morning planned with Patsy and after New York, Darius expected something great.

I looked back at Callie who gave me a reassuring smile before I opened the door. She hadn't wanted to come again, saying it was my studio time. Private time with Tommy that she thought I desperately needed. I, of course, told her that I needed her there for a buffer. I wasn't ready to be alone with Tommy. I was almost afraid of what might come out of my mouth.

"So you finally decided to show up," Tommy said turning his chair to face both Callie and I as we both froze in the doorway. "Come in, it's just valuable studio time we're wasting."

I rolled my eyes before setting my guitar case down and smiling politely at Tommy. "Tom Quincy this is Callie Preston."

"We met yesterday," Callie said smiling at Tommy. Secretly she was congratulating herself on not acting like a total dork like yesterday. Today she was going to play it cool. Like she always hung out in Record Labels in recording studios with icons.

"I want to hear something that you wrote while you were gone," Tommy said changing the subject. He was looking at the sound board now and barely spared us a glance as I got my guitar out. "Something different then yesterday."

"Okay," I said mentally running through all the songs in my head that I had written. There was one that would probably shock him and a part of me couldn't wait to see that. I was going to sing the one song that I had yet to sing to anybody. Not even Callie had heard Die of a Broken Heart. If Darius thought my song yesterday was depressing, he was in for a surprise. I hadn't even gotten to the bottom of my depression yet.

"Good luck," Callie whispered taking a seat on the couch where many songs had been written. Many for my own albums.

"I don't need luck," I said before walking into the recording room. I could feel Tommy's gaze on me and I almost wished for the old days where we'd make silly faces at each other or just look into each other's eyes. But I couldn't dwell on that, I couldn't let him in again. The feelings may still be there but my heart couldn't take another hit.

I played the opening bars and I knew there were tears in my eyes as I started singing.

_I keep having these disturbing dreams:_

_My final days, the end of me._

_For some odd reason, I get one last wish,_

_And every time, I wish for this: _

_Take me fast or take me slow._

_I don't really care how I go._

_In the daylight or in the dark,_

_Just don't let me die of a broken heart. _

_The kind of pain that you just can't take,_

_Will send a strong man to his grave._

_There's not a pill that can give you a rest,_

_Or fill that hole deep in your chest. _

_So, take me fast or take me slow._

_I don't really care how I go._

_In the daylight or in the dark,_

_Just don't let me die of a broken heart._

_No. _

_Yeah, yeah._

_Yeah, Yeah. _

_I've been crushed by that hurt before._

_There's no way I could take any more._

_If I fell in love, and I found out it would happen again,_

_I'd say take me now. _

_And take me fast or take me slow._

_I don't really care how I go._

_In the daylight or in the dark,_

_Just don't let me die of a broken heart. _

_Take me fast or take me slow._

_I don't really care how I go._

_In the daylight or in the dark,_

_Just don't let me die of a broken heart. _

_No, don't let me die of a broken heart. _

_No._

_  
_I opened my eyes and sought out Callie's gaze. I smiled sadly when I saw the tears in her eyes. I took the headphones off my ears and decided to take a moment to myself. I was an emotional wreck right now and I needed to build up my wall before facing Tommy again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tommy laid his head in his hands on the sound board. Last night he'd gone home and thought about how to make Jude listen to him but after that song, he wasn't sure she would. She sounded so hurt and it was scary to see how much he'd hurt her.

"You did," Callie said causing Tommy to turn and look at her.

"What?" I asked confused.

"You did hurt her, more than I think anybody realizes," Callie said looking through the glass at Jude who was facing away. "She puts on such a front sometimes."

"Jude could never put up a front before," Tommy said softly.

"People change though," Callie said standing up. "I remember the first day I saw her; sitting on a stool staring at me through such grown up eyes. When she told me she was 17 I wasn't exactly surprised but I wanted to know her story. Something big had to have happened for her to have grown up eyes."

"She got her heart broken," Tommy said wishing he could really kick his own ass.

"It's more than that though, I think," Callie said crossing her arms over her chest. "I know I haven't been her friend for long but I know her story, most of it. I don't think it's just you. I mean, you are a big part of her life and you hurt her by doing what you did but I don't think that's what caused this new Jude."

"What else could have caused it? I left, shortly after that, she left," Tommy said even more confused.

"Oh my god you are such a guy," Callie said wanting to scream. If Sadie were here, she'd get it. "Yes, you left but who left first Tommy. Her Mom, the one person who should never leave a daughter behind, did. The one person that a teenage girl needs most walked away without even a care for what her daughter might need."

"Then I left," Tommy said trying to piece the puzzle together.

"No, then her father left," Callie said rolling her eyes. "Oh he showed up now and again and tried to play the concerned father but he was mostly just concerned with himself. He wasn't there anymore; he was with his new family."

"Then I left," Tommy said sounding hopeful, he really wanted to get something right.

"Yes, after making all of her wishes come true by asking her out on an actual date," Callie said glaring at him. "You handed her everything she ever wanted on a silver platter and then less than 24 hours later whisked it away without a backwards glance. Three of the four most important people in her life just up and left too busy with their lives and problems to notice the 17 year old girl left standing alone."

"I'm an asshole," Tommy admitted finally realizing the bigger picture. He wasn't just one; he was in a long line of people who had disappointed Jude. "I can't make this up to her, can I?"

"You can," Callie said smiling for the first time since Jude had sung that song. "You are probably the only person who can make it up to her because you really love her."

"Sometimes that isn't enough," Tommy said thinking about the song and the look of pain in Jude's eyes.

"No, sometimes it isn't but usually it is." Callie saw Jude heading back into the studio so she turned to say one last thing. "You know Jude Tommy, probably better than she knows herself. So you just have to ask yourself, how bad do you want her? Because you could have her, it's just going to take time and most importantly trust. Something you'll have to earn back."

"How?" Tommy asked but Jude was walking into the room.

"How what?" Jude asked avoiding looking at either of them.

"I just wanted to know how Callie met you," Tommy said quickly.

"Oh, okay," Jude said and Tommy swore he heard her sigh in relief when the door opened and Darius stuck his head in.

"Jude, I need to see you for a minute," he said noticing how pale Jude looked and the look of defeat on Tommy's face. "Bring the latest recording," he added before closing the door.

Tommy watched as Jude took the CD from him and hurried from the room. Callie gave him one last smile before leaving the room too and soon he was left with his own thoughts and the only thing really running through his mind was how in the hell was he going to make it up to Jude?


	18. Chapter 18

**I'm so sorry everybody that it's taken me so long to update but I have been looking for inspiration for this story. I know what's going to happen and where it's going I just need inspiration for each chapter. Well, this inspiration came from a song. A song I love and listen to whenever I miss a loved one that has passed on. So I hope you like this chapter. **

**Thank you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter. You are the reason this story continues on. So please R and R again. I love to read them.**

**Chapter 18**

I followed Darius out of the recording studio expecting to get a lecture or some ultimatum about cooperating with Tommy. What I didn't expect was to follow him out to a car with a driver who opened the door for us. I climbed in behind him and saw Callie looking at us from the doorway of G Major. I shrugged my shoulders as the driver shut the door and got behind the wheel.

It wasn't a long drive and I looked curiously at the apartment building as we climbed out of the car. Darius once again led the way inside and he said something nice to the security guard at the door and soon we were in the elevator climbing up to the third floor.

It was a beautiful building but I couldn't help but wonder what we were doing here. The only thought that was wondering through my mind was that Darius had sold his huge house on the edge of Toronto to move here…but that didn't make any sense.

"So Darius, why'd you move here?" I asked after a moment.

Darius had stopped beside a door with the number 314 imprinted on it. He looked at me in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Well I thought you must have moved or something because why else would be here?" I asked motioning to the apartment.

"Why else indeed?" Darius mumbled unlocking the door.

He held it open and nodded at me so I walked through the door. I have never been as surprised and touched as I was in this moment.

"I didn't know if you knew that your father had sold your house or not," Darius said walking in behind me and shutting the door behind us. "I didn't want you to have to worry about finding a place to stay when you got back. Sadie and Kwest helped a lot. They put away all your stuff and shopped for furniture."

"I don't know what to say." I walked farther into the apartment while wiping away a few stray tears that I hadn't been able to hold back. It wasn't a huge apartment and there wasn't that much furniture or personality in it. But the thought behind the pictures on the entertainment station in the living room and the candles strategically placed around was totally Sadie and made me want to cry even more.

"It's a two bedroom," he went on to explain. "Originally I thought Sadie might want to move in with you but now with Callie here, she'll have a place to stay."

"Thank you Darius," I said smiling at him. This was the sweetest thing he could have ever done for me. I hadn't known for sure that my dad had sold the house but had definitely suspected he had. I had been dreading the apartment hunt that I was going to have to go on but now, I didn't need to. I was really getting sick of the hotel.

"Jude," Darius said, his tone alerting me that I might not like his next question. "I know that you needed to get away and I even admit the break seems to have done some good. But we still haven't talked about one of the reasons you left."

"Darius I don't want to talk about Tommy," I said tired of talking about him.

"This isn't about Tommy," Darius said walking over to the couch to sit down. "The police still haven't found the guy. After you left, he never contacted us again."

"Maybe he was all talk," I said hopefully.

"We both know that isn't it," Darius said shaking his head. "I think part of this for him is watching you get publicly ridiculed. He couldn't release the pictures with you gone. But now you are back, we've kept that as quiet as can be but he's bound to find out. I just want you to be prepared for another letter."

"Oh I'm prepared," I said seriously. "I want him to send another letter."

"I wouldn't go that far," Darius said quickly.

"No, this will always be hanging over my head until he's caught," I explained. "I want him to send another letter so the police have more to go on."

"Now about Tommy," Darius said changing the subject.

"Darius," I said glaring at him.

"If you honestly don't want to work with him, then you don't have to," he said surprising me once again. "I know you two have history and I've been thinking that you know where you are musically better than I do. If you don't need Tommy anymore then you can pick your producer."

"I really wish you wouldn't have said that," I said softly.

"It's your choice," Darius said again.

"Yesterday I would have picked Kwest just to get out of an uncomfortable situation but now," I said shaking my head. I started pacing back and forth. "I need Tommy Darius. Musically I suck right now. I'm so hurt and angry inside that I can't write a good song for the life of me."

"You love him," Darius said with a hint of a smile.

"I don't know why but I do," I admitted. I couldn't believe I was standing in my new apartment having this conversation with Darius, the head honcho.

"I have a few guesses," he said making me laugh though not with much humor.

"He's hurt me more than any other person in the world," I said talking more to myself than to Darius. "He can make me feel like I don't matter, like I'm just part of the scenery. But then he can give me this look…I can't even explain it but I know that at that moment, I'm the only one that matters. I'm just getting sick of having those moments, I want more than that."

"Can you let go of that and just make music with him?" Darius asked standing up like he was getting ready to leave.

"Darius, that's what makes the music we write so well," I said shaking my head at him. "Our relationship, as messed up as it is, makes me a better musician."

"Well then get back to the studio then," Darius said opening the door.

"First I have a favor to ask you," I said smiling hopefully. It wasn't that much a favor but after having just been given an apartment and having him let me decide who my producer will be, I didn't want to ask for to much. But Callie deserved this chance and I wanted to be the person who gave it to her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Callie was standing at the receptionist desk talking to one of the interns but she must have excused herself because she hurried over to me. "So you still making a record or have you been fired for medical reasons?" she asked making me really confused. She smiled as she added, "you know…depression."

I rolled my eyes. "You know…I'm so glad you are in such a good mood," I said with a big smile on my face. "I hope you have a song prepared because I just got you five minutes in front of Darius and Liam."

"Oh no you didn't," Callie said frozen in place.

"Oh yes I did," I said grabbing her hand and pulling her towards Studio A.

"I can't do this."

I turned and looked at her and bit back the sarcasm I had brewing, she looked terrified. "What's this?" I asked confused. "Where's the girl that told me I needed to come back here and face the music? The girl who ran away and survived on the streets? Are you telling me that singing a song in front of a bunch of suits is scarier than that?"

"Yeah," Callie whispered. "Jude you don't get it. This has always been my dream but if I walk in there and they laugh at me or worse just walk out before I finish…I'd die. The part of me that loves music would die. I don't want that to happen."

"Then make sure it doesn't," I said grinning. "Walk in there, sing like I know you can sing, and then stare them straight in the eye. I've heard your voice Callie, you're better than most singers out there."

"Even you," Callie teased the spark coming back into her eyes.

"Nobody's better than me," I said making her laugh.

I watched as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. I knew what she was going through; I had done that same thing the night of the contest. It's calming but nothing could prepare her for what she was about to do. She was going to have a record deal in less than ten minutes, I was that confident in her talent.

When we walked in I saw Kwest and Tommy first sitting behind the sound board. Liam was on his cell yelling about some money issue and Darius was sitting on a stool behind Tommy and Kwest tapping his foot like we were wasting his time. I glared at him before handing Callie my guitar.

"Knock them dead," I whispered giving her shoulder a squeeze before she headed into the recording room. I walked over so I stood directly behind Tommy and beside Darius. "Record it please," I said quietly. This was a big moment for Callie and I wanted her to have it on a CD for the rest of her life.

"This song goes out to a friend of mine, she's not here anymore but I know she's looking down on me right now and she's smiling," Callie said before taking a seat. "It's called Slipped Away."

_Na na, na na na, na na  
I miss you, miss you so bad  
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad  
I hope you can hear me  
I remember it clearly  
The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same  
Ooooh  
_

I could feel the tears falling down my face but I didn't wipe them away. I'd never heard this song from her before and I could tell by the way Darius was staring at her intently and Liam having closed his flip phone without saying goodbye, that she had their attention.

_  
Na na na na na na na  
I didn't get around to kiss you  
Goodbye on the hand  
I wish that I could see you again  
I know that I can't  
Oooooh_

_  
I hope you can hear me cause _

_I remember it clearly  
The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same  
Ooooh  
_

"She's good," Kwest said softly making everybody shush him. I saw him turn to look at me and I nodded my agreement. I just wish they knew the story behind the song but that was Callie's story to tell.

_  
I had my wake up  
Won't you wake up  
I keep asking why  
And I can't take it  
It wasn't fake  
It happened, you passed by _

Now you are gone, now you are gone  
There you go, there you go  
Somewhere I can't bring you back  
Now you are gone, now you are gone  
There you go, there you go,  
Somewhere your not coming back

The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same noo..  
The day you slipped away  
was the day that I found it won't be the same oooh...

Na na, na na na, na na  
I miss you

"She's been sing in night clubs," Tommy said pressing the stop button. He sounded surprised and I took a chance and put my hand on his shoulder.

"No, she's been sing in a little coffee shop in New York City," I said finally wiping away the tears. When he turned to look at me I gave him a watery smile. "I told you guys she was amazing. I don't know how she went this long without a record deal."

"Kwest do you want her?" Darius asked after a moment of silence had gone by.

"Want her?" he asked confused but then he smiled. "Oh yeah, I'll take her on."

"Great," Darius said standing up. He turned to me and smiled. "Thank you for bringing her home with you Jude. Next year we'll have two artists nominated for a Grammy." With that said he walked into the recording room and as I watched along with Tommy and Kwest as Liam and Darius delivered the good news to Callie.

As she stood there in shock, shaking hands with both of them and trying to make a coherent sentence even though I knew she couldn't, I started laughing. Something good was coming from the mess my life had become. I had helped a friend make her dream happen. I looked down at Tommy and had to wonder…when was I going to get my dream?


	19. Chapter 19

**Okay I do not know what was wrong with this past week but I wasn't getting any story alerts or review alerts which isn't normal????? So I'm hoping that's why I got so few reviews that last chapter. I really hope people are still reading. **

**With that said, here is the latest update. I hope you like it, it took me awhile to write it...that pesky writer's block. Annoying!!!!!!**

**R and R please!**

**Chapter 19**

I walked into G Major the next morning leaving Callie to sleep in at my new apartment. After the celebration we had the night before with Kwest and Sadie, she deserved the extra sleep. After today, she wouldn't have any for a long time. I had my guitar case in my hands and I was headed towards the break room when somebody plowed into me. "Sorry," I mumbled my mind so focused on the cup of coffee waiting for me that I didn't even look to see who it was.

"So mentioning his name was all it took," Spied said causing me to freeze in place.

"You don't know what you're talking about," I said softly. I had been dreading this confrontation only because I knew he was angry and I knew he was going to take my homecoming for something it wasn't.

"I think I do," he said walking around me 'til he stood in front of me. "I mentioned his name and what happened…you're home in under a week. Man does he have some sort of control over you?"

"Back off Spied," I said ticked off. I was going to let him off the hook and walk away but he was going too far. "My coming home has nothing to do with him. I had to come back…for me."

"Quit lying to yourself Harrison," he said glaring at me. "All he has to do is look at you and you melt. You are too blind to see that you're relationship with him his unhealthy. But don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart once again because I'm just going to laugh in your face."

"You hate me that much," I said genuinely shocked. After the breakup we hadn't exactly been close but he had still been my lead guitarist and I thought, a friend. I couldn't believe the amount of anger that was shooting out of his eyes; he really hated me.

"Don't give yourself that much credit Harrison," he said rolling his eyes. "I've moved on, to somebody who actually gives me the attention I deserve and not whatever leftovers she has for me because she's too busy mooning over her producer."

"Somebody sounds bitter," I said before I could stop myself. I was just egging him on and I was only going to cause problems for me. I was already going to have to look around for a new band…he was obviously not going to be my guitarist anymore.

"Enough," Tommy said from behind us.

I closed my eyes in mortification. I had no idea how long he'd been standing there and what he'd heard but I didn't want him thinking that I had come back for him. That could only lead to an embarrassing conversation and one I didn't want to have.

"Jude get your coffee and get in the studio," Tommy said interrupting my thoughts. "And Spied, the next time you want to pick on somebody, pick on me. Do not monopolize my artist's time, capice?"

"Whatever," Spied said walking away.

I finished walking into the break room and grabbed a cup of coffee before making my way to the studio. I could see Tommy already in there getting the sound board ready and I took a second to compose my face before walking inside.

"I thought today we could just get right down to business and start brainstorming song ideas," he said without looking at me. I mumbled some sort of agreement before making my way to the couch. I took my guitar out and started fooling around with ideas.

"Spied didn't mean anything he said," Tommy said interrupting my concentration.

"It sounded like he did," I said quietly laying my guitar down across my lap.

"He's just hurt…a lot of people were," Tommy said finally taking a seat so he could stare at me. "I won't pretend I understand why you ran Jude, mainly because I have no idea but I hope someday you can tell me why. I know we have a lot to talk about but I'd like us to be more comfortable with each other before we hash out all our problems."

"I don't know when I'll be ready to sit down with you and talk like we used to," I admitted already a little scared by the thought. What would he think if he knew about the pictures? What I let that pervert do to me because of my own stupidity? He wouldn't look at me the same that was for sure. I still hated looking at myself in the mirror because of it.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," he said smiling at me. He leaned forward and he got that look on his face that basically said we were going to start working. "So what kinds of song are you interested in doing? Your love song are always a big hit but so are your in your face, I'm my own person songs."

"I want to write a song about me," I said the idea just coming to me.

"Okay, what do you mean?" he asked more than a little confused.

"Nobody knows the real me," I said standing up. "Oh they think they do just because the read my biography on the internet or buy my last two CD's but they don't know me as a person. They don't know my quirks, my personality, what I like. I want them to. It's time they see me for what I really am."

"It could work," Tommy said mentally running the idea in his head.

"I want to use words that describe me," I went on pacing back and forth now. I saw Tommy pull a notebook out of a drawer and decided to let him pen the words down for now. I'd be rewriting it later on my own anyways. "I'm powerful, pitiful, special, and unstoppable."

I looked in the window and saw my reflection staring back at me and smiled sadly. "I'm beautiful," I said thinking about the pictures. After that sordid story came out, nobody would believe that but I had to believe it. "I make no sense, I'm a mess and most of all, and I'm human."

"This is a good beginning to go with," Tommy said looking down at some of the stuff he had penned down. He handed it to me so I could see and I started crossing things out. I could see him staring at me like he was trying to figure me out but I knew he wouldn't. This song was completely different than anything I had ever written and I could already feel some of my pain melting away as I got the words on paper.

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"Same time tomorrow Jude," Tommy said as I put my guitar away.

I was pulling out my cell phone surprised to see three missed calls; I hadn't even heard it ring. I nodded absently at Tommy before calling my voicemail. I smiled when I heard Callie's message.

"Girl you are so dead for not waking me. I want to be around the action and that so isn't this empty apartment. Oooh hot guy outside by the pool…talk to you later."

She was such a girl sometimes and then so serious and insightful the next. She was full of contradictions and I loved it. She was pretty amazing to have as a best friend.

"Jude…honey…it's your Mom. Sadie called me sweetheart, she says you're back. I'm going to be in town tomorrow and I would like us to get together and talk. Please give me a call…I missed you."

I rolled my eyes. Somehow I didn't believe her. She'd been traveling the whole world well I was gone, not even coming home when Sadie reported me as a runaway. If she really cared, she would have come home and been with Sadie. I didn't think I'd be meeting her anytime soon.

"So you came back, I knew you would. You'll pay for running like that. Get ready for a bumpy ride Ms. Harrison."

I could feel the room start to spin and I know I dropped my cell phone but all I could hear was that voice "_Get ready for the bumpy ride Ms. Harrison." _He was back, Darius had been right. I closed my eyes when the room started to spin faster and finally started to break out of the trance when I heard Tommy yelling at me.

"Jude! Jude! Are you okay?" He was yelling at me as he held both my shoulders.

I pulled away slowly and crouched down on the floor until I located my cell phone. "I'm fine," I muttered standing back up. I looked around trying to remember what I had to do when I thought of Darius. He was the only one who knew about this guy and I needed to get to him. I walked around Tommy and out of the room, not even stopping when he called my name. I had to get to Darius. The devil was back and this time, Darius couldn't try and sweep it under the rug.


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey everybody, here's the latest update. Once again I'm not sure about this chapter, it was hard to write but it came out okay I think. So please let me know what you think by reviewing.**

**Thank you to everybody who has been reviewing all along. I love reading them, they always put a smile on my face. **

**Chapter 20**

"Darius!" I said storming into his office without knocking. I froze when I saw Sadie and Liam sitting in front of his desk. I had interrupted a meeting and Darius hated when you interrupted meetings.

"Yes Jude," he said standing up.

"I really need to talk to you," I said seriously, holding up my phone as I bit my lip. I couldn't tell him that the pervert had called and I couldn't mouth the words because Sadie and Liam were staring at me like I'd grown two heads.

"Can it wait twenty minutes?" he asked sitting back down.

"I don't think so," I said honestly. I didn't know if it could wait, I didn't know what the guy had planned or if I was over reacting.

"Okay, Liam, Sadie, give me ten minutes and then we'll conclude this meeting," he said sighing. I could tell he was annoyed that I had interrupted him but I didn't know who else to go to. I didn't know the officer in charge and I didn't want the media to get wind of this so soon.

"Now what was so important you had to interrupt the budget meeting for yours' and Callie's next albums?" he asked sounding even more annoyed.

"He called," I said finally able to let it all out. "He called me and I don't know what to do. He's mad at me for running and now he's going to pay me back for ruining his plans. I don't know what to do"

"Calm down Jude," Darius said dragging me over to one of the chairs in front of his desk. I didn't even notice him getting out of his chair and now he was crouched down in front of me pushing my head between my legs. "Jude, you will faint here in a second if you don't start to breath and calm down."

"He's back Darius," I said softly after a couple minutes had gone by.

"We knew he would be," he said getting up and picking up his phone. "Sadie, get Jude a bottle of water….thanks."

"I knew he'd be back but he threatened me Darius," I said hearing his voice over and over in my head.

"He threatened you before too," Darius said calmly.

"Yeah with putting the pictures in the paper if he didn't get money, he's no longer talking about money Darius. He threatened me; he said I'm going to pay!"

"He may be talking about money again Jude. Maybe he'll ask for more money this time," he said still sounding so calm

I stood up and began to pace. "I don't know Darius; it didn't sound like he was asking for money. Something just doesn't feel right. I think I really made him mad when I left."

"Well then maybe we need to go down to the police station and give them another statement," Darius said walking over to the door when Sadie knocked. "Thanks Sadie, and can you get my car around front. Jude and I have to take a drive in about five minutes."

"Sure Darius," Sadie said smiling but she craned her neck so she could see me.

I could tell she was worried but I didn't have the energy to even give her a reassuring smile because I wasn't alright. I was worried and angry but most of all I was terrified. I didn't know what was going to happen and I like being in control. I need to feel like I am in control even if I'm not and I couldn't even pretend.

Darius had shut his door again and walked toward me. "We'll go to the police station and give another statement but until he actually does something, we're operating in the black Jude."

"Operating in the black?" I asked finally finding a little humor in the situation. "Since when do you talk like that?"

"I love those cop shows," Darius said defensively.

I smiled and followed Darius out of his office. I didn't know what the police would do, if they would even do anything. But like Darius said, I had to do something.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So basically I have to sit pretty until he actually tries something before you guys will do anything?" I asked sarcastically pacing in front of Officer Jenkins desk.

"We don't even know who he is Ms. Harrison," Officer Myhrer said calmly.

"His name is Josh," I said beyond irritated.

"We know that, we got his name from a Mr. Fox," he said his tone starting to sound annoyed. "Do you have any idea how many Josh's there are in Toronto?"

"No but I'm sure only a couple of them are perverts," I said before walking out of his office.

"Jude!" Darius yelled following me out of the police station. "Jude, would you stop…please!"

"Why Darius, they aren't going to be any help?" I yelled right back at him. I knew there was no use yelling at him, it wasn't his fault but I wasn't exactly thinking straight.

"They are doing all they can," he said more quietly.

"Which is nothing," I stated. "I've got to get out of here Darius."

"Do not run away again Jude," Darius said grabbing my arm. "Stay here and face this."

I shook my head as I ripped my arm out of his grasp. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised you'd think I was talking about leaving Toronto again." I made my way towards the sidewalk with the intention of hailing a cab.

"Jude," Darius said sounding unsure.

"Don't worry Darius, I'm not leaving," I said without turning around. "I'll be at the studio at nine tomorrow morning."

I was faintly surprised that he didn't follow me but I was able to get in the cab and on my way. I looked out the back window and Darius was still standing in the spot where I had left him. I knew he was sorry he'd jumped to conclusions but I still couldn't get passed the pain of him thinking I'd leave like that again. I wasn't that Jude anymore, but maybe I was the only one who saw that.

I was still pondering that when I walked into my new apartment two hours later and saw Callie and Sadie sitting on the couch. They both jumped up when I walked in and I knew Darius had called them. I closed my eyes and prayed that he'd just asked them to watch out for me and that he hadn't told them anything else.

"Where have you been?" Sadie asked wrapping her arms around me in the tightest hug I'd ever had before.

"Um…around," I said slowly.

"Darius called here an hour ago and he wasn't happy you weren't here," Callie said softly looking at me with knowing eyes. She knew something was up and with the way she kept glancing at the mail on the coffee table I was sure a manila envelope had something to do with it.

"How did he get this address?" I asked getting angry. I stormed towards the table and picked up the envelope wishing I could just rip it up and throw it away.

"Um…he doesn't," Callie said biting her lip.

"Jude I brought that here," Sadie said confused. "It came to G Major and I intercepted it. I figured I'd drop it off since I planned on coming over here anyways. Why…what's in it?"

"My innocence," I mumbled holding the envelope so tight my knuckles started turning white.

"What?" Sadie asked even more confused.

"This is one of the reasons I ran away," I said throwing the envelope back down on the table. I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands. I couldn't open it because I knew once I did that everything would be over. My career once the media got wind of these pictures. My friends, the few I have, would most likely back off, being associated with me would be the kiss of death. I didn't even want to think about my family, my non-existent family. These pictures were the end of my life as I know it.

"I don't understand," Sadie said walking over and sitting down beside me.

"Open the envelope," I said sadly.

"Jude…are you sure?" Callie asked already knowing what was in the envelope.

"Oh I'm sure," I said looking up at her. "It's going to be over by tomorrow anyway Callie. They'll be in the paper or at least the tabloids. She might as well see them in there full glory."

Sadie was looking between the two of us but finally she reached over and picked up the envelope. She had it opened in thirty seconds and she took out one picture and a piece of paper.

"What's this?" she asked looking at the picture first. "Oh my God."

I looked at the picture in Sadie's hands and the tears just started falling. He wasn't holding anything back. It was one of the worst ones he had taken, with me fully naked and in one of the most disgusting poses I have ever seen.

"Jude…how…why?" Sadie asked dropping the photograph onto the floor. She stood up and paced away from me. "You didn't pose for that," she said sounding a little unsure.

I closed my eyes to hide the pain that I know was showing. That was almost worse than anything anybody could ever say. My own sister thought I could have maybe posed for that disgusting filth. I stood up wiping tears away as I walked past Callie and Sadie towards my room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Jude," Sadie said starting to follow me.

"Don't," Callie said stopping her by the tone of her voice. She waited until she heard Jude's door shut and her stereo turn on. "How could you?" she asked glaring at Sadie.

"How could I what?" Sadie asked throwing her hands up in there. "I asked a legitimate question."

"You think your sister would pose for that trash," Callie asked walking over to get the picture. She wiped away a stray tear when she saw the photo in its full glory. "I have only known Jude for a couple months and even I know she wasn't a willing participant."

"How do you know?" Sadie asked.

"Because I know Jude. She's the girl that refuses to be something she's not. She's honest and hard working and she speaks the truth, usually bluntly," Callie said putting the photo back in the envelope. "I think it's time for you to go."

"I am her sister," Sadie started to say.

"Who just accused her of taking nude pictures willingly," Callie said sarcastically. "I think Jude can do without your sisterly questions right now."

Sadie nodded and walked out of the apartment without another word. Callie took a deep breath before walking down the hallway and knocking on Jude's door. But she didn't answer and Callie finally sighed in defeat and walked into her bedroom. She didn't know what to say to her anyways. How do you make up for a family member believing something so disgusting?


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter. I understand the anger at Sadie but I promise in the next couple chapters you will understand Sadie's question. For everyone who has been wondering where Tommy is...he's back!!! This is by far my favorite chapter, it was so hard to write just because it is emotional. So please review and let me know what you think. :)**

**Chapter 21**

I crawled out of bed the next morning after having barely slept at all and through on my favorite jeans and plain black t-shirt. I made my way to the kitchen and saw Callie sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.

"Morning," I mumbled quietly shuffling to the coffee pot. This was definitely a coffee morning.

"Are you okay?" Callie asked after a moment had gone by.

"Right now, no," I said truthfully. I sat down across from her and saw her hiding hugging something to her chest. "What's that?"

"Okay, before I show it to you," Callie said standing up so she could pace back and forth. "You have to promise me that you will remain calm."

I closed my eyes. "I can't promise that," I said already having an idea of what she was trying to hide.

"It's bad Jude," she said slowly handing me the paper.

I turned it over slowly and bit my lip so I wouldn't scream. The pictures were tame compared to the one he'd mailed me yesterday. The paper just showed me passed out but the article speculated that it was more than just alcohol that had put me in that situation. "I did not do drugs," I whispered.

"I'm sure Darius is already working on damage control," Callie said trying to be optimistic.

"This is going to end my career," I said throwing the paper across the room. "He's really trying to ruin my life."

"We can fix this," Callie said shaking her head. "So you got drunk one night, so have a lot of other 17 year olds. Just because the media holds you up on a pedestal doesn't mean you can't make a mistake. Don't let them get to you."

"That's easy for you to say, you don't have the entire world talking about you," I said glaring at her.

Callie sighed. "You know, I understand you are angry, I would be too but do not take it out on me."

I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry Callie, I'm just….I don't know what to do."

"Let's go to G Major and see what Darius has planned," Callie said calmly.

I nodded and we left the apartment in ten minutes. When the cab pulled up in front of G Major I groaned. There were news trucks everywhere with the cameras now facing the cab. "Here we go," I said softly before opening the door and climbing out of the cab.

"Jude Harrison, is it true? Do you use recreational drugs?"

"Ms. Harrison, do you think this will affect your record sales?"

"Jude, you do realize you have a young fan base and they look up to you. How do you justify drinking and drug use to your fans?"

"No comment," I said pushing through the reporters. I felt Callie latch onto my hand and I pulled her through the crowd. I could see Darius striding towards us.

"Jude has no comment at this time," Darius said pulling both Callie and I into G Majors lobby. I took a deep breath in relief even though I could still hear and see the reporters yelling questions from outside. "Jude, conference room now."

I nodded and didn't look at anyone until I was in the conference room. It was empty and I took a seat, feeling relieved to have blessed silence even if it was only for a few minutes. I could still barely hear the reporters and I closed my eyes and laid my head back against the back of the chair.

"Jude," Darius said after walking into the conference room.

"Yeah," I said without opening my eyes.

"We need you to give a press conference," he said sitting down across from me.

"No way," I said sitting up in surprise. "They are vultures, they'd eat me alive."

Darius shook his head. "They won't be allowed to ask any questions."

"Like that will stop them," I muttered.

Darius continued on ignoring my comment. "We have the PR firm working on a statement and then you will get up in front of them and read the statement. You will calmly walk offstage and that's it."

"You are seriously deluded if you think that's all that will happen," I said rolling my eyes.

"Just do not answer their questions," Darius said again. "Ignore them, because I guarantee you aren't going to like what they have to say."

"Oh believe me Darius, I know I won't like what they have to say," I said smiling even though there wasn't one part of this that was funny. "So far, I haven't liked what anybody has had to say about my situation."

"Jude, I'm sorry…about yesterday," Darius said changing the subject.

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it," I said sadly. "If I was you and you were me, I would have asked the same thing." I stood up and headed towards the door. "I'm off to have Portia dress me."

"I thought you could dress yourself," Darius joked.

"I don't know what to wear to a press conference where I'm going to discuss my non-existent drug habit and my alcohol consumption," I said rolling my eyes. I walked out of the room and my eyes met Tommy's across the lobby. I turned and headed towards Portia's office. I didn't know what to say to him, how to explain…any of it. I knew I was going to have to say something but I had a press conference to get through first.

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"Ms. Harrison has a statement to make, but she will not be answering questions at this time," Darius said getting the crowd of reporters to calm down. He stepped down from the podium and walked over so he was standing by Liam, Tommy and Kwest.

I took a deep breath as I took my place at the podium. I looked out at the reporters and I could see them judging me without even knowing the situation. I looked down at the statement the PR firm had prepared for me and I knew that the reporters wouldn't accept this as my statement. I crumbled it up into a ball and tossed it over my shoulder.

"Today everybody got a shock when they opened their newspapers," I started off. "Instead of more news about the War in the Middle East or about the state of our economy they got an article about me, Jude Harrison, that wasn't even true. They got to stare at a picture of me, that was taken without my knowledge and everybody judged me guilty of drug use and called me an alcoholic because of a picture." I knew Darius was going to chew me out for this but I was sick of being judged without a fair trial. "Now I don't have to stand up here and justify my choices, my decisions to you. I owe you nothing, not even an explanation."

"The public deserves to know how you can justify drug use and underage drinking," one over-zealous reporter yelled.

I held up my hand to stop Darius from stepping forward and cutting this press conference short. "Excuse me but do you know my situation. Do you know what I've been going through these past years? You don't even know the truth about what happened that night but yet you can stand there judging me. I don't have to justify that night to you. Yes it was a mistake, yes I wish I could turn back the clock and make a different choice but I can't." I gazed out trying to make eye contact with every reporter in my audience. "I may be Jude Harrison, Rock Star or whatever. But I am still a 17 year old girl that has had to deal with more than most of you have had to deal with in your whole life. So before you print anything else for your magazines, newspapers or on tonight's news, think about that."

I stepped down and walked back into G Major without even stopping when Darius called my name. The reporters were hurling questions at me, at Darius but I didn't even turn around to give them another picture. I walked back into G Major and got another surprise but once again, not a happy one.

"Mom," I said my voice sounding strangled. She didn't look happy to see me, she looked…disappointed or maybe even embarrassed. Don was standing right behind her and he had placed a hand on her shoulder to show support. "What are you doing here?"

"After you didn't call me back I thought I'd just show up here because you always end up here," she said stiffly, like she didn't know how to talk to me, her daughter.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you back…there's been some stuff I'm dealing with," I said stating the obvious.

"Oh I know all about the 'stuff' you are dealing with," Victoria said in her holier than thou voice she gets when she's about to lecture you. "How could you Jude? If there's one thing I taught you it's to not drink until you are old enough and never to do drugs. Is this your payback for me marrying Don?"

"You taught me!" I yelled sick of having everybody lecturing me and doubting me. "The only thing I've learned from you is to run away when things get tough. So Dad cheated on you, did Sadie and I cheat on you?"

"No but you two also didn't need me either," Victoria explained looking back at Don who smiled encouragingly at her to continue. "You are both adults now and were never home…"

"Sadie's an adult Mom," I interrupted her. "I'm only 17 and I had just lost a full-time father, hell, I don't even have a part-time one. When you left do you have any idea how lonely I felt? Then right after that happens, boom, the guy I loved leaves too. Is there something wrong with me that everybody feels the need to just leave me?"

"Quit being so dramatic," Victoria said rolling her eyes. "I thought when I got home we could sit down and discuss this calmly but it looks like I was wrong. You aren't the daughter I raised anymore Jude. I don't know who you are."

"You're right, I'm not the daughter you raised, mostly because I spent half my life raising myself," I said glaring at her. "You are not the Mom I've lived with for 17 years; I don't know who you are anymore, Victoria." I watched as she took that as the insult it was meant to be and I walked around them and down the hall into my favorite room, studio C.

It was mainly used for promising artists who haven't had a real hit yet and didn't need to have tons of money spend on them yet. But it was still my favorite. It was small, the only furniture inside was a couch, a single chair and a music stand. I had recorded my whole first album in here and I almost wish I could go back to that time. Everything was so much easier back then, less complicated.

"Jude," somebody said from behind me.

I closed my eyes and wished the floor would open up and swallow me whole. I didn't have time to deal with any more ego or insults. I just wanted to be alone so I could lick my wounds in silence.

"What Tommy?" I asked softly.

"Jude, I don't know what to…" he started but stopped before he could finish so I decided to finish it for him.

"Don't know what to say or do? Why don't you throw in a how could you or hell even a how dumb do you have to be," I said sarcastically.

"Jude I…" he started again.

"You what…can't believe how dumb I am? Believe me Tommy, I've been there," I said shaking my head. "I'm pretty dumb. I'm dumb for believing I could come back and make this work. I was better off staying in New York where nobody knew me." My voice started cracking and I hated that I had to start crying right now, at the worst moment. Tommy hated tears, he always reacted badly. (Sixteenth birthday party, he kissed me so I'd stop.)

"Jude," he said putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Just go away Tommy," I said wanting to hit something. "I'm so sick of having to defend myself."

"So stop," he said turning me around so he could wrap his arms around me. I stood within the shelter of his arms trying to make sense of this but the only thing that was running through my mind was how good his cologne smelled. "Just let it out Jude."

"But…" I said really confused.

"Let it out Jude," he said again. "You'll feel better." He pulled me in even closer and I forgot about the pictures and the media. I forgot about Sadie and my mom. I forgot about everything and wrapped my arms around Tommy's neck and just let go as he put it. I cried out all my frustration and anger. My fears and hurt over everybody's reactions. I held on to Tommy in dear life and prayed that when I was done, he would still be here and not running away like he usually did. But if he did, then at least I would have this moment. This moment of pure relief that somebody was holding me up and reassuring me…for once.


	22. Chapter 22

**Here is the latest update everybody. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everybody that reviewed the last chapter. I was literally shocked by the amount of reviews I received, it made my week. So THANK YOU again. **

**This chapter was hard to write but I think it turned out okay. For all of you Jommy shippers, don't worry. This chapter might cause...well something but it is a Jommy story. I just love drama. So please R and R again and tell me what you think.**

**Chapter 22**

Ten minutes had gone by before Tommy had carried Jude over to the couch and continued to hold her and rub her back well she cried it all out. He still couldn't believe the stuff he had read in the paper, he hadn't believed a word of it until Jude had given her press release; then he had known at least some of it was true.

He still didn't believe the crap about drug abuse. Jude may have changed a bit since they both had run away but she hadn't changed that much. But something had happened after he left but he was withholding judgment until Jude could give him an explanation that is if she wanted to. He wasn't going to demand anything from her, not like her mother had done moments before. He wanted her to want to tell him.

Another ten minutes had gone by when Tommy realized Jude had fallen asleep. He smiled down at her face which was all red and blotchy and even chuckled a bit when he heard her start to snore. She was beautiful, even snoring in her sleep.

"She okay?" Kwest asked peeking into the studio.

"I don't really think so," Tommy answered honestly. He maneuvered around until Jude was lying on the couch and he made his way over to the door way where Kwest was still standing. "Can you get Darius for me?"

"Sure," Kwest said walking away.

Tommy looked back at Jude and he shook his head when he pictured her yelling at her Mom. He had walked in right after Victoria had accused Jude of trying to pay her back for marrying Don. He still wanted to smack her for believing Jude could ever do something like that. She was her Mom and she didn't even know who Jude was.

"What do you need Tommy?" Darius asked walking up. "I have fifty angry reporters outside and I can't find Jude."

"She's right here," Tommy said nodding his head at the couch.

"What happened?" Darius asked softening his voice so he didn't wake her.

"Well I followed her into the lobby but before I could say anything, her Mom started tearing into her for her drug and alcohol abuse," Tommy explained his tone clearing saying what he thought about Victoria. "They fought and then I followed her into here where she yelled at me before crying herself to sleep."

"She must be exhausted," Darius said shaking his head.

"What is going on Darius?" Tommy asked dragging his hand through his hair in frustration. "I don't understand any of this. What is with the pictures and the alcohol and drug insinuations?"

"Tommy, I can't tell you," Darius said really looking like he wished he could. "I made a promise to Jude that I wouldn't tell anybody the real story. But after today, she'll probably tell you some of it if not all of it."

Tommy stood there staring at Jude for a moment before he sighed. "I want to get her out of here. I know we can't go out the front door or the back door but what about the alley door? If we can get a car over there without being detected I'm sure we could sneak her out of here."

"Where's she gonna go?" Darius asked. "I'm sure they have her apartment staked out by now."

"She's going home with me," Tommy said staring at Darius, waiting for an argument. But Darius surprised him.

"I think that's a good idea," Darius said nodding. "I'll get a car by the door; can you carry her out of here?"

"That won't be a problem," Tommy said.

Less than five minutes later Tommy had Jude laid out in the backseat and he was in the passenger seat giving Darius's driver directions to his home. It didn't hit him until they pulled in his driveway that he might have to explain Aubrey to Jude when she woke up.

Aubrey was still quiet, never making too much noise. She didn't draw attention to herself and in fact, she only talked to the nanny Tommy had hired and Tommy. She would hide if anyone else was in the house so Tommy wouldn't have to explain her but he was finding he wanted to.

"Hello Tom," the nanny said as he walked into the house carrying Jude.

Tommy nodded at her but made his way carefully to the guest room and laid Jude down. He smiled to himself when she didn't even stir; she was the only person he knew that could sleep like the dead. He covered her up with the comforter before he leaned down and lightly kissed her forehead. He had no idea what was going on in her life and he knew he might not like it when he eventually found out but he knew in his heart, he'd always love her.

"Where's Aubrey?" He asked after making his way towards the kitchen.

"In the music room," the nanny said loading the dishwasher.

"Aubrey," Tommy said walking into the music room. He couldn't find her at first but finally he could see her little head poking up around the piano. "Hey girl," he said smiling.

Aubrey looked up at him as she lightly touched the keys but not hard enough to make a sound. She was always found sitting on the piano bench touching the keys but she never pressed hard enough to make a sound. Tommy knew what she wanted and he closed his eyes as he started to play her favorite song, White Lines.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Jude's POV**

I woke up in a strange room, in a very comfortable bed, with my eyes crying out for a cold wash cloth. I closed my eyes as I remembered crying all over Tommy's shoulder. I hadn't officially cried at all over anything that had happened to me and when I really let loose, it had to be on him. Life was just not fair sometimes.

I climbed out of the bed and made my way to the bedroom door and looked up and down the hallway. Where in the hell was I? I turned left and looked in the first open door I passed and I saw another bedroom with no tell tale signs of who it belonged to. I walked past another room which turned out to be a bathroom. I made a quick stop there and wanted to cry all over again when I saw how horrible I looked. I literally looked like something the dog would drag in.

I made it to the end of the hallway and for some reason I was drawn into the room to my left. I could see a couple guitars and when I stepped into the room I saw the baby grand piano in the center of the room. It was gorgeous and I about jumped out of my skin when the little head popped into my line of vision.

"Hello…" I said slowly really wondering where the hell I was.

When she didn't say anything I grew even more uncomfortable. I hadn't been around many children in my short lifetime and I especially didn't know what to say when the girl wouldn't talk. I tried to smile reassuringly but I was afraid it came across more nervous than anything else. I was about to leave the room when she scooted over and patted the seat beside her.

"Okay," I said slowly sitting down beside her. My hands were clenched in my lap and I had to force myself to unclench them.

The little girl barely touched the keys before nodding at me. I may not understand kids but I had a feeling she wanted me to play something for her. I looked at the music on the stand and froze. I didn't move until the girl poked me in my side and touched the piano keys again. I started playing a lullaby that I had first learned from my very first piano teacher but the little girl started shaking her head. She pointed to the music on the stand. I just nodded and closed my eyes. I didn't need any music to play this song. It was forever imprinted in my brain.

_I tried to tell you  
I've got to get away  
I tried to say  
I need my space  
I got to get some  
Distance in between  
My heart and my head _

I'm on the razor's edge  
I've been here before  
I know the way

White lines  
And headlights in my eyes  
White lines  
I'm ready to drive all night  
White lines  
How many 'till I'm in your arms  
White lines  
Will bring me home

I held you in  
My arms last night  
I dreamed we were  
Riding on a star  
I kissed you and  
The sun began to shine  
In dreams I can do anything

It seems like I'm on my own  
It feels like I'm losing it all

White lines  
And headlights in my eyes  
White lines  
I'm ready to drive all night  
White lines  
How many 'till I'm in your arms  
White lines  
Will bring me

Seems like I've been here before  
I know the way  
Seems like I've been on my own  
So long  
So long

White lines  
And headlights in my eyes  
White lines  
I'm ready to drive all night  
White lines  
How many 'till I'm in your arms  
White lines  
Will bring me home

"I forgot how beautiful that song was live," Tommy said from the doorway.

"Why'd you bring me here Tommy?" I asked not even looking at him. I was afraid I'd start crying again and as I glanced at the little girl out of the corner of my eye, I needed answers instead of causing another scene.

"I thought you could use a day of peace," he said walking into the room. "I bought this house when I moved back and nobody knows about it yet. I'm sure the press won't find you for at least 24 hours."

"Great," I said shaking my head. I stood up and faced him for the first time. "So how mad is Darius?"

"I don't think he's that mad," Tommy said honestly. "He knows you said what you had to say; besides, I'm sure you're speech was better than the one the PR firm had prepared anyways."

I nodded and walked over to the window. I didn't know what else to say. I knew I should give him some sort of explanation but I was still thrown at everything that had happened in the past two days. I knew once I told him the whole story, he'd no longer look at me the way he'd been looking at me since I returned. I didn't even know what the look meant but it was better than the anger and disappointment that was sure to follow whatever explanation I gave him.

"Aubrey, Miss. Lisa has your dinner in the kitchen," Tommy said breaking into my thoughts. I watched as the little girl nodded and left the room without a complaint. I had almost forgotten she was in the room for a moment.

"She's beautiful Tommy," I said honestly.

"She's my niece," Tommy said quickly making me look at him strangely.

"Okay," I said looking at him in confusion. It took a moment before I realized why he'd said that. "It wouldn't have mattered if she was yours Tommy."

"Are you sure?" Tommy asked carefully.

I closed my eyes and actually thought about how I would have felt if Aubrey had turned out to be his daughter instead of his niece; the answer was a no brainer. "It would have hurt that you never told me before that you had had a daughter before but I wouldn't be angry at you for having a daughter. She's beautiful Tommy, kinda quiet but I don't know if that's normal or not."

"Her mom died a couple months ago Jude," Tommy said diving right into the story. "She gave me sole custody of Aubrey and it's caused a huge rift between my father and me, well, it made the rift before that look like peanuts compared to now. That's why I left Jude, so I could go and get Aubrey before my Dad got a hold of her."

"And you couldn't tell me that because…" I said glaring at him.

"I didn't know how you'd react and I didn't even know what I was feeling that day Jude," Tommy said starting to pace. "I had finally done the one thing I had sworn I never would do until…well anyways before I could follow through I was given this huge responsibility. I didn't know what to say or do."

"Never do what Tommy," I said already knowing the answer.

"I swore I'd never ask you out until you were of age," Tommy said softly. "I didn't want the press to attack us or Darius to get pissed. But that day Jude…I had to ask you. I've never felt more for you that day until now."

"I can't believe you Tommy," I said shaking my head. "You can't say things like that right now. I'm still angry you left that way. You said you might not be back that night and I about died right there. You have no idea what you did that night when you said that."

"I didn't know if I'd be coming back Jude," Tommy said loudly. "I didn't know what the situation was with Aubrey and I knew that leaving the way I did…I knew I might not have a job to return to."

"Well lucky you…you did," I said turning to look out the window again.

"What about you Jude!" Tommy yelled. "What happened the night of your album release party?"

I closed my eyes to stop the tears from falling. I was not going to cry yet. I didn't open them until I had them under control. "My life turned into a living hell that night Tommy. That's what happened."

"Details Jude," Tommy said calming down a little.

I shook my head as I turned to face him one last time. "No Tommy," I said sadly. "I'm not ready to talk about it with you. I don't know what I feel for you right now…I'm angry and I'm hurt and I just can't talk about it right now."

I walked right past him and out of the room, making my way back to the bedroom that he'd probably placed me in earlier. I knew I was probably making a mistake…not telling him right now what happened but I was still too hurt that he'd left the way he did. He could have taken one damn minute to tell me the situation but he didn't. So I wasn't going to take a minute or ten minutes to tell him my story.


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey everybody, wow, aren't I amazing? I'm updating again...yeah me. Thank you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter, I was amazed at the amount of responses. And to answer some of your questions Jude couldn't tell Tommy because she's afraid of how he'll respond. Plus she's still upset that he didn't tell her why he had to leave, hopefully that answers your questions. **

**Please R and R and let me know what you think!**

**Chapter 23**

The next morning I sat at the head of the conference table at G Major while Darius, Liam, Kwest, Sadie, Tommy and Portia all sitting in various places around the room. I had had a long conversation with Darius on the phone and I'd come to the decision to just tell everybody the cliff notes version of what happened that night. But now that I was standing in front of everybody, I wanted to run in the other direction.

"Hey everybody thanks for coming in so early," I said smiling sadly. "I thought that you all might have a couple questions about the article and the pictures in the paper yesterday so I've decided to just tell you all at once."

"Try a couple thousand questions Ms. Harrison," Liam said with his lips pursed in irritation. He'd been fielding calls from the press and we would like to know why he couldn't just tell them to blow it out their rear with all the drug and alcohol questions but no he had to say no comment.

"Hopefully this will answer your questions than Liam," I said rolling my eyes. "This whole mess started at the night of the release party when Liam told me I had to perform even though…lets just say I wasn't at my best."

"You were upset about Tommy leaving," Liam said making me glare at him.

"Yes, I was upset at the way Tommy left," I said finally. I glanced at Tommy out of the corner of my eye but he was staring at the table. "I took a cab to Barrie to see Mason because I needed to just get away. I missed Mason and he is always capable of making me feel better but as it turns out…I met someone, a fan, who made me feel better. Well I think the alcohol I was consuming might have had something to do with it too. I hung out with him, drank a lot and san There's Us onstage with Mason before I retired to Mason's tour bus where I passed out."

"Not your smartest move but that doesn't explain the pictures," Liam pointed out.

"I was too drunk to make it to the bus on my own…so Josh, the fan, volunteered to make sure I got there okay." I turned away so I wasn't looking at anybody. "The last thing I remember is falling onto one of the beds. The next morning I woke up to Jamie knocking on the door and no memory of most of the night before."

"But…the pictures?" Sadie asked confused.

"It turns out that Josh wasn't that great of a fan…he took the pictures while I was unconscious," I said slowly having a hard time getting it out. I took a deep breath before continuing. "A couple days later he sent a letter to me at G Major blackmailing me for 50,000 dollars or the pictures would be made public. Darius told me to take a break…so I did, I went to New York."

"That pervert!" Sadie yelled standing up.

"I'll kill him," Kwest said pounding his fist on the table.

"There's more," I said finally turning to face them again. "After I came back I was hoping because so much time had passed he'd moved on…or got a life but he didn't. He contacted me with that picture you brought me Sadie and he called me. He left a message and now he not only wants money, he's also pretty pissed off that I left."

"He threatened you," Tommy said standing up slowly.

I just nodded a little afraid of the look in Tommy's eye. I'd never seen that look before and even though I was sure it was directed at me, I backed up anyway.

"I can't believe this…you," Tommy said shaking his head before storming out of the conference room. I wiped away a stray tear before following his example and walking out of the conference room too.

Kwest and Sadie both looked at each other and Kwest said quickly, "Jude!"

"Damn, I need to win one of these eventually," Sadie said standing up. She took a deep breath before walking into Tommy's office. "You are such a jerk!"

"Excuse me," he said lifting his head up from his hands.

"How could you say that to Jude?" Sadie asked walking up to his desk. She picked up a pen and threw it at him.

"Okay you really need to stop hitting me or throwing things," Tommy said standing up glaring at her. "And what are you talking about? I left so I wouldn't say anything."

"No then what was 'I can't believe this…you' all about?" Sadie asked crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot on the floor. She arched her eyebrow and gave him the look she always got when she knew she was right.

"Um…just what I said. I can't believe this…or her right now," Tommy said sitting back down.

"Why?" Sadie asked sitting down in the chair in front of his desk. "It's not like she asked to be taken advantage of?"

"She walked into the situation," he replied softly.

"Because she was hurting," Sadie said passionately. "You weren't here Tommy; you didn't see what your leaving did to her. I've never seen her like that and she was pretty upset when Dad and Mom left."

"She went out and met another guy," Tommy stated throwing his hands up in the air.

"She went out and met what she thought was a fan who played her like any other bastard would play a vulnerable girl," Sadie said shaking her head in confusion. "I can't believe you'd blame her for this. She's being taken advantage of by the scum of the earth and you can only sit in your office and think 'woe is me', you're pathetic."

"I'm not blaming her," Tommy said softly stopping Sadie from walking out of his office.

"Sure sounds like it," Sadie said wishing she had gotten Jude; she was much easier than Tommy.

"I blame her for telling me in front of a group of people when she should have had the guts to do it last night in private," Tommy said letting the hurt finally show.

"Can you for one minute think about how Jude is feeling right now?" Sadie asked after a moment of silence had gone by. "I don't know why she didn't tell you last night, except that she was probably thinking you'd blame her for the whole situation, much like you did when you stormed out of the conference room."

"I don't blame her though," he said again.

"Then you need to go tell her that because the girl I saw leaving the conference room was in tears and she thinks you are disgusted with her right now," Sadie said before she left him with that sentence running through his head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"God I'm such an idiot," I said before kicking the wall which made me jump around shaking my throbbing foot. "I knew he'd react that way, why am I surprised?"

I grabbed her guitar and started strumming the strings. I was glad I'd placed my guitar and journal in the studio before the meeting because I had plenty of pent up emotions and I could probably write one hell of a song.

"Jude," Kwest said lightly tapping on the door before opening it.

"Yeah," I said not looking up from my journal and guitar.

"He didn't mean it," Kwest said deciding to dive right in.

"Yeah he did," I said still trying to focus on the song that wanted to come out.

"He didn't mean it the way it came out," Kwest said trying to word it differently.

"Maybe he didn't," I conceded finally setting my guitar down. "But it doesn't really matter Kwest, because he said it and he felt it in that moment and I don't blame him for feeling that way."

"He'll apologize," Kwest said happy that it was going a lot better than even he'd thought it would go. He was so glad he got Jude and not Tommy, he was so difficult sometimes.

"I don't want him to," I said honestly. "Kwest, I did something stupid. I admit it…I can't deny it, a picture speaks a thousand words. I can't blame him for being mad at me because I'm mad at myself."

"Do not blame yourself for this jerks actions?" Kwest said vehemently. He would not have her blaming herself; she was not to blame for trusting someone to help ease her pain with some innocent company. "He took advantage of you Jude…plain and simple. You trusted somebody because you needed to believe that he was who he said he was."

"I was an idiot then and now," I said shaking my head at my own stupidity. "I made a rash decision to drive to Barrie on the night of my release party. I made a dumb decision to drink with a stranger and even bigger mistakes to let him even have the chance to take advantage of me." I stood up and hugged my arms around me because the next thing I had to say hurt. "I'm an idiot now for thinking Tommy could just accept what happened without feeling anger at me. I would be angry at him if our positions were reversed. I was so mad at him last night for leaving like he did but he has every right to be angry with me for doing what I did."

"You two are both so difficult," Sadie said walking into the room.

"Why do you say that?" I asked confused.

"Because you both love each other and you both can see the other person is in pain but still you keep an arms length away," Sadie said shaking her head in frustration. "I wish you could both just sit down and hash everything out and accept that you two love each other and need each other."

"I don't see that happening anytime soon," I said rolling my eyes. "I have other issues I need to deal with first. Like my career."

"You're career will be fine, the reporters will have somebody else to attack in a couple days," Kwest said smiling reassuringly.

"I don't care about them," I said sitting back down. "I care about my fans, the ones who are reading this story and watching it on the news and are doubting I am who I claim to be. I don't want them to think drinking is cool because I did it one night."

"You could hold another press conference but for kids this time," Sadie suggested.

"No, I want something more personal," I said shaking my head. We all got quiet for a couple minutes when Kwest and I both stood up and started talking a mile a minute.

"A private concert," we both said smiling.

"Huh?" Sadie asked confused.

"A private concert, just for my fans," I explained. "It will be personal with me playing requests and a few new songs that they haven't heard. I'll answer their questions and just…explain things on their level."

"Sounds good," Sadie said smiling.

"Now who's going to pitch it to Darius," I said biting my lip. I opened my mouth in shock when Kwest and Sadie both hurried out of the room before I could call them chickens. I took a deep breath before making my way to Darius's office. I hated pitching things to Darius, only because he didn't like any of us to have good ideas except for him. He was such a guy sometimes.


	24. Chapter 24

**I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I have had such a serious case of writer's block and well I've been a little wrapped up in other things. I hope to wrap this story up before the new year but we'll see. I hope you like this chapter, I liked writing it. The next chapter will be up much quicker. I promise, hey, I even pinky promise. I never break a pinky promise. **

**Thank you to everybody who has reviewed and I hope i haven't lost anybody since the last chapter. R and R please!!1**

**Chapter 24**

"Jude Harrison!" Kwest said into the microphone and I took one last deep breath before walking out on the small stage.

Darius had loved the idea of a small intimate concert with a handful of my fans where I could answer their questions and perform some new music. He wanted it to happen right away so he only gave everybody two days to find the space, the fans and for me to pick the music. I never thought we'd plan it in time but we did and now I just had to find the courage inside me to answer their questions honestly.

"Hey everybody," I said smiling as I sat down on the stool. The stage only had room for a stool, keyboard and a microphone. I was performing everything all on my own, no band. "I thought I'd open this concert with a song I wrote about a month ago, I hope you like it."

I opened with **Beautiful Broken**, I knew that Darius thought the song was too depressing but it explained everything I was feeling and going through and he didn't know it yet but it would be on my next album.

"Thank you," I said setting my guitar down after I finished the song. "Now I'd like to answer a few of your questions. I know there have been tons of rumors floating around in the news and in the magazines and I'd like a chance to tell you the truth."

"Hi Jude, my name's Krista and I just wanted to know how you handled your parent's divorce? My parents are going through one right now and I'm a wreck all the time."

I sighed a little relieved that it wasn't a question that had to do with the pictures and that night. I knew they were coming but I'd like to put them off for awhile, until I was a little more relaxed.

"I have to admit I didn't handle it well," I said carefully. I looked towards the back and saw Sadie standing beside Kwest and I went on when she gave me thumbs up. "I was upset with both of them. They didn't handle it well and they forgot about my sister and me during the whole process. The best advice I can give you is to have a great support system around you. I had my sister and my friends standing beside me."

"I'm Julie and I was wondering how you deal with rejection?" she asked quietly. "I finally got the courage to tell this guy how I felt only to get rejected and not in a nice way."

"I'm so sorry that happened," I said standing up. I walked over and gave her a quick hug. I sat down beside her and took a deep breath before answering. "Rejection is never easy, even if you are the person doing the rejection." I smiled sadly at her. "I think you all can remember my most public rejection from a certain rapper that we'll call Ray." After the laughter had died down I continued. "I hurt…I hurt all over. It wasn't just emotional but I literally felt like I had been beaten physically. The only advice I can give you is to take that rejection and learn from it. Next time you'll be a little bit smarter when you tell a guy or girl how you feel. Obviously he wasn't what you thought he was or he wouldn't have responded in a harsh way."

I stood up and made my way back to my guitar. "I wrote this song awhile ago, I wasn't planning on singing it tonight but I've changed my mind. It's called What Becomes of the Broken Hearted."

_As I walk this land of broken dreams  
I have visions of many things  
But happiness is just an illusion  
Filled with sadness and confusion _

What becomes of the broken hearted  
Who have love that's now departed  
I know I've got to find  
Some kind of peace of mind  
Maybe

Fruits of love  
Grow all around  
But for me they come tumbling down  
Every day heart aches grow a little stronger  
I can't stand this pain much longer  
I walk in shadows searching for light  
Cold and alone no comfort in sight  
Hoping' and praying' for someone to care  
Always moving' and going nowhere

What becomes of the broken hearted  
Who have love that's now departed  
I know I've got to find  
Some kind of peace of mind  
Help me please

I'm searching though I don't succeed  
Someone's love there's a growing need  
All is lost there's no place for beginning  
All that's left is an unhappy ending  
Unhappy ending

Now what becomes of the broken hearted  
Who have love that's now departed  
I know I've got to find  
Some kind of peace of mind  
I'll be searching everywhere  
Just to find someone to care  
I'll be looking every day  
I know I'm gonna find a way  
Nothing's gonna stop me now  
I'll find a way somehow

What becomes of the broken hearted  
Who have love that's now departed  
I know I've got to find  
Some kind of peace of mind  
Oh yeah  
What becomes of the broken hearted

I smiled as they all applauded and I nodded towards another fan once it died down.

"Can you tell us what the real story is behind 'your drunken night'?" he asked curiously.

I closed my eyes and prayed that I could make it through without crying. Tommy was here and although he knew what happened that night, he didn't know the emotions behind it and I didn't want him to see how effected I still was.

"On the night of my CD release party I got some bad news…not life-ending but at the time it felt like my world was ending," I started feeling tears starting to well up. "I've been in love twice in my life and the first time I was brutally rejected. But the second time…it hurt even more I think. He just left…left me without an explanation and he told me he might not come back."

When I stared into the faces in the audience I wanted to walk out. Everybody was staring at me, Sadie, Kwest, Tommy, Spied, Callie, Darius…everybody. "So I did something stupid. I drove to Barry and met up with Mason…a good friend. While I was there I met a nice guy, or so I thought. He offered to buy me a drink and I got drunk that night. It helped…being drunk. It made the pain go away and I drank so much that I went to my room and passed out."

"This 'nice guy' had walked me to my room but instead of leaving he decided to take some photos that I did not consent to," I said softly laying it all out. "I don't think I've ever felt more violated in my life. He has made me feel dirty and ugly. Some people will say that at least something worse didn't happen but he took something from me that day. Something that I still haven't gotten back."

"Is that why you ran away?" another fan asked after a moment had gone by.

"A big part of it," I said wiping away a couple stray tears. "I needed to get away though. I needed to be on my own to write music and to try and find peace in myself again. I made a good friend while I was gone and she gave me the strength to come back."

"Are you okay now?" someone else asked.

I laughed wiping more tears away. "That is debatable," I said making everybody laugh. "I'm doing better but I'm a long way from okay." I bit my lip as I searched for the right words. "I just wanted you, my fans, to know that I don't condone what I did that night. That I'm not trying to make excuses or to say that it was right. But it happened and I have to live with it for the rest of my life."

I picked my guitar back up and smiled at my sister. She was wiping tears away as she held on to Kwest with her other hand. "This next song I wrote and nobody has heard it before. It's a song about healing…about being okay with yourself. I call it Honestly Okay."

_I just want to feel safe in my own skin _

_I just want to be happy again _

_I just want to feel deep in my own world _

_I just want to be okay again_

_Honestly okay_

_But I'm so lonely _

_I don't even want to be with myself anymore _

On a different day

_If I was safe in my own skin  
Then I wouldn't feel so lost and so frightened  
But this is today _

_And I'm lost in my own skin _

And I'm so lonely

_I don't even want to be with myself anymore _

I just want to feel safe in my own skin  
I just want to be happy again

_I just want to be okay again_

_Honestly okay_

I sang the last part with tears running down my face along with most of my audience. I could still see questions in most of their eyes. Some wanted me to name names and go more in depth but others were accepting what I said and were okay with it. I knew I still had to face a few things. Answer a few more questions…mainly Tommy's questions. Because with the way he was staring at me…he could have drug me out of the room and somewhere private. As I wiped away my tears I sighed in relief, I have never been so thankful for an audience in my life. I wasn't ready to answer his questions.


	25. Chapter 25

**Here's the latest update and I was right, I updated it much faster than last time. Yeah me!!! Well thank you for all the updates, I loved reading them and I save all of them. When I'm stuck I read them and they help me write so keep up the reviews. I hope you like this chapter. R and R.**

**Chapter 25**

"Jude," Tommy said following her into Studio A. It was the day after the concert and he'd been calling her all night but she hadn't answered her cell. "Would you stop for a second?"

"What?" I said looking everywhere but in his eyes.

"I called you last night," Tommy said after a moment. Now that he was standing in front of her, he didn't know what to say or how to say it.

"I know," I said after a moment. I'd probably been thinking about lying but Tommy could always tell when I was lying.

"Why didn't you answer?" Tommy asked.

"Because I felt stupid," I said honestly. "Look, yesterday I basically bared my heart out for all to see at that concert and I just didn't want to do this whole conversation."

"Jude," Tommy said softly. "Why didn't you tell me about that night like you did last night?"

"I did tell you about that night," I said confused.

"In front of my boss and friends," Tommy said shaking his head. "Why didn't you tell me in private? So you could tell me more than just the damn facts."

"I couldn't," I said softly.

"I wished you'd told me in private," Tommy said softly. "I wished you would have told me that night I told you my story. I wished you would have told me how violated you felt and how you blame yourself."

"Why?" I asked. "Why does it matter?"

"So I could have done this!" Tommy yelled grabbing her so he could pull her into his arms.

I had only one thought before he roughly kissed my lips and that was oh damn. Tommy had never kissed me like this before. It was as if he couldn't get enough of me and the way he would lick my bottom lip so I'd open my mouth made my knees feel weak. I'd never been kissed like this before and if I had any time at all to think, I probably would have felt a little fear. This was passion in its finest and I'd never felt it before.

Tommy pulled back and looked into her eyes. She was blinking fast and looking at him like he was a stranger. That made him smile, his Jude, had just gotten her first real kiss. Oh, she'd been kissed before, twice by him, but this kiss. He'd put everything into it, all his emotions that he couldn't keep bottled up anymore. He lightly tapped her nose with one of his fingers and smiled at her.

"What…what was that?" I asked when I finally found my voice.

"That was-" Tommy said but was interrupted by Sadie's voice.

"Jude," she said and wished she could have put this off for a couple more minutes. She was obviously interrupting something and both Tommy and Jude didn't look happy about it. "Sorry guys but Darius needs you in his office. There's another letter…and a picture."

I closed my eyes to try and hid my fear. I didn't want anybody to know how truly afraid I was but I should have known that Tommy wouldn't let me hide. He placed his hand gently on my cheek so he could stroke it and whispered, "We'll finish this later."

Aloud he said, "Let's go see what the pervert has to say." When I just stared at him, he leaned down and kissed my forehead gently. "C'mon Bright Eyes."

He took my hand led me out of the studio, passed Sadie who gave me a thumbs up like the dork she is and to Darius's office where Liam already was. I took a seat and almost jumped up in surprise when Tommy placed both his hands on my shoulders and rubbed them reassuringly as he stood behind me.

"Okay," Darius said taking note of the new arrangements. A part of him wanted to put aside Jude's stalker and talk to them about this new development but the other part of him knew this had been a long time coming. So he shelved the talk about their relationship and handed Jude the newest photograph.

"This photo isn't one of the originals he sent us so that leads me to believe there are more he's kept from us," Darius said making notes on a piece of paper. "I've already called Officer Myhrer; he's going to be here as soon as he can."

"He couldn't have sent this one with the others," I said my voice shaky with terror. He'd just upped the scales a bit.

"Why couldn't have he?" Tommy asked looking down at the picture.

"Because he took this last night," I said staring down at the picture afraid to look away. "This is me sleeping last night."

"Oh Lord," Liam said closing his eyes.

"He's stalking you," Tommy said his voice deadly cold.

"He watched me last night," I said again. "He took my picture while I was sleeping."

"Jude, you're room is on the third floor," Darius said confused.

"I didn't sleep at the apartment last night," I said quietly. "I slept at Sadie's; her dorm room is on the ground floor."

"He's been following you," Tommy said his voice even colder if it was possible.

"We knew he was following me," I said reaching up so my hand was on his.

"But he followed you last night," Tommy said.

"Darius, the letter," I said after a moment. I needed to read what he had to say. This guy was tormenting me and I needed to know why.

"Jude," Darius said softly. "It's not good."

"I don't care," I said shaking my head. "I need to read it."

I took a deep breath as Darius handed me the letter. I closed my eyes before opening them to read the words the stalker/fan/psycho/pervert had to say.

_Dear Jude,_

_I was afraid you weren't really concerned with my previous letter and phone call. I hope the picture included with this letter will show you that I mean business. For too long you have been prancing along like you were above everybody else. I've hated you for as long as I've known you. It's time you are put in your place. I hope that by the time this is over, you're career is over. I hope you're life is over._

_Sincerely,_

_Your biggest fan_

_P.S. I loved the song Honestly Okay, a little depressing but I'm glad you aren't okay. _

"I'll kill him," Tommy said wanting to punch a wall but he didn't even move away from Jude. If he was feeling this much anger towards this punk, then he couldn't even imagine what Jude was feeling.

"He was at the concert last night," I said trying to picture the crowd.

"Yes he was," Darius said nodding.

"How come I didn't see him?" I asked getting mad at myself.

"Because you weren't looking for him," Tommy said rubbing my shoulders again.

It was another hour until Officer Myhrer's arrived and then another hour until I could leave. I tried to sneak out and thought I'd made until I heard his voice. He hadn't been in the room when I left so he must have been waiting outside.

"Where do you think you're going?" Tommy asked walking up behind me.

"To catch a cab so I can go home to my apartment and sleep until I can't remember today anymore," I said walking towards the road so I could hail a cab.

"If you think for one moment I am letting you go back to your apartment alone with this guy out there, you're crazy," Tommy said following me.

"I'm going back to my apartment Tommy," I said turning to face him. "I'm going back to my apartment because I can't let this guy drive me out of there. I just moved in and I don't want to abandon Callie there."

"Fine, I'm driving you," Tommy said taking is keys out of his pocket.

I stared at him knowing there was a catch but I couldn't think of how. Plus I would save money on the cab fare, which was getting too be a bit much. I really need to find out what happened to my mustang.

"Okay," I said softly following him over to his Hummer. After I was settled inside, I looked around and sighed. "I'm sorry Tommy but I really miss the Viper. The Hummer just doesn't do it for me.

"Yeah well, the Viper isn't exactly Aubrey friendly," Tommy pointed out pulling out of the G Major parking lot.

"Please tell me you didn't sell it?" I said shocked.

"Of course not," Tommy said smiling. "It's in my garage."

I pretended to be relieved or well, I wasn't really pretending. I loved that car and someday he'd let me drive it again, even if I had to steal the keys first. It was quiet the rest of the way to my apartment and even on the walk up. He didn't say a word but just stared at me with this look I was still trying to figure out.

"Callie," I called as we walked into the apartment.

"Jude," Callie said walking out of her bedroom. She walked up to me and pulled me in for a hug. "Sadie called me, I'm so sorry."

"He's not going away," I mumbled into her shoulder.

"They'll get him Jude," Callie said quietly. She looked at Tommy and shook her head. She was so angry she wanted to go kick some ass but she didn't know whose ass to kick. "I've already packed a bag for you."

"Why?" I asked pulling back quickly. I looked at Tommy but he just shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not going anywhere."

"That's not what Sadie said but okay," Callie said looking at Tommy in confusion.

"She wants to stay here," Tommy said after a moment had gone by. I nodded my head and began making my way towards my room, which held my bed. "So if you could just get me a blanket and pillow, I'll make my bed on the couch."

"No," I said freezing in place. I turned around and stared at him slightly angry but mostly nervous. "You can't stay here, we'll be fine. Right Callie?"

"I don't know about you but I'm getting him a blanket and pillow," Callie said smiling at Tommy. When I glared at her, she rolled her eyes. "Hmmm Jude, I don't know, there is a pervert on the streets who wants to stalk you. Oh I know lets be two single hot females alone in an apartment with no security system."

I rolled my eyes at her this time. "Fine, do what you want, I'm going to bed." I stormed into my room and slammed the door.

Callie turned to face Tommy and smiled. "She really meant thank you for offering and she feels much safer with you here."

Tommy nodded but he was smiling as Callie walked away to go get him the blanket and pillow. Jude wasn't happy with him being here, he couldn't wait to find out why, and he would find out. Jude had to come out of the bedroom sometime.


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey everybody, I'm so happy to say I'M UPDATING AGAIN! Can you believe it? I think I've outdone myself this time. Two updates this close together. Well I hope you like this chapter, I loved writing it. Jommy moments are my favorite thing to write. So Read and Review please and be gentle.**

**Chapter 26**

I sat on my bed glaring at my bedroom door. I'd been shut in here for four hours, mostly because of my own stubbornness. I should have grabbed some food before locking myself in my room for the night. It was almost ten, I'd heard Callie say goodnight to Tommy around nine because she had an early morning recording session the next day. So Tommy was out there all alone probably just waiting for me to come out so he could ask more questions.

Or maybe so he could kiss me again. Why had he done that? One minute he looks like he wants to stand there and yell at me all day and the next he's kissing me like he can't get enough of me? I don't understand him sometimes. I know he had a right to be angry, I wasn't going to deny him that right. But he didn't have a right to make my life even more confusing then it already was.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I stood up and walked over to my door. I tried to open it quietly and peeked out and saw Tommy sprawled out on the couch. I couldn't tell if he was sleeping yet or not but I knew if he wasn't, he had just heard my stomach growl. I put a hand on my stomach and took a deep breath before hurrying past him and into the kitchen.

Callie and I had separate cupboards. She was a health freak constantly eating things I wouldn't dare put near my mouth and I was a junk food addict; and the number one thing I had to have on hand was pop tarts. It didn't matter the flavor, if it was pop tarty I would eat it.

"I should have guessed," Tommy said from the kitchen doorway. He was smiling at me which of course made my knees weak so I sat down on the floor right by the refrigerator.

"I'm hungry," I said pitifully taking another huge bite of my strawberry pop tart.

"You should have come out of your room when Callie knocked and told you we had pizza," Tommy said opening the fridge so he could grab the last Sprite.

"I was sleeping," I lied finishing off my first pop tart.

"No you weren't," Tommy said chuckling when I just glared at him.

I just rolled my eyes and looked straight ahead at the oven. I never realized how interesting an oven was until this moment. I mean, it's an amazing invention. Just think, if nobody had invented the oven we'd still be cooking over open fires. I wonder who had invented the oven? I'm going to have to-

"Stop Jude," Tommy said grabbing my hand so he could pull me up. He dragged me out of the kitchen and into the living room where he made me sit down on the couch. He sat down beside me leaving barely six inches between us. "What's wrong?"

"I'm hungry," I said even though the two pop tarts I'd just ate felt like a pile of lead in my stomach.

"No, what's been wrong with you since you left Darius's office this evening?" Tommy asked still holding on to my hand. He was gently rubbing circles on my palm and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and tell him all my problems. "Why didn't you want me to stay here tonight?"

"Because we would have been fine," I said trying to sound irritated but I knew I just sounded pathetic.

"Probably, but I still would have spent the whole night pacing in my own living room wondering if you were okay," Tommy said quietly. "Jude, I know we have issues, most of them by my own making but don't shut me out now. Especially not now please."

"I don't want to shut you out," I said turning my body so I was facing him. "I just…I'm sick of people having to solve all my problems and take care of me. I've been taking care of myself since I won that damn concert."

Tommy cleared his throat before he commented. "I kinda hope you thought I was also taking care of you too."

"Yeah but I was more of a nuisance I bet," I said smiling sadly. "Tommy, you've always solved my problems even the ones you didn't want to." I pictured the Shay kiss situation and my whole rebellious faze. "I just wanted to solve this one on my own. You know be an independent Jude instead of the no backbone Jude."

"No backbone?" Tommy asked incredulously. "Jude, you have more backbone then anyone I've ever met, including me. You don't give in for anything."

"Doesn't feel that way," I said softly laying my head down on the back of the couch.

Tommy turned so he was facing me now too and placed his other hand on my head which he started rubbing softly too. "Jude," he said changing the subject. "Why didn't you tell me what happened in private?"

I closed my eyes and tried to find the words to really explain my feelings. "I was afraid of how you'd look at me once I told you." I opened my eyes and could see from the look on his face I'd hurt his feelings and I didn't want that. "I messed up bad that night Tommy. I was so emotional that I couldn't think straight and I made so many bad choices. I knew that you would be the first to call me an idiot and I didn't want you to say it." I looked away and added softly, "besides you did blame me when I eventually told everybody."

"I did not," Tommy denied shaking his head.

"Yes you did," I said glaring at him. "I saw the look on your face when I finished telling my story. You were disgusted with me. You couldn't even look me in the eye."

Tommy stood up and paced away, he couldn't think when he was sitting right beside her. "You're right. I was disgusted but never with you." He turned around slowly so he was looking me in the eye. "I was disgusted with the punk who thought he had the right to violate you. I was disgusted because the only reason you were there was because I had been to angry to tell you that I had to go back to my hometown." He took a couple steps closer towards me and crouched down so he was on my level. "I was upset with you for letting yourself get taken advantage of but I never blamed you."

"You could have said that," I said softly. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his gaze.

"I couldn't," Tommy said shrugging his shoulders. "I was too angry that day, I was afraid it would come out wrong." I nodded like I understood but I still thought he should have tried. "I'm sorry Jude, I really am."

"I forgive you," I said after a moment of silence. "And I'm sorry too Tommy. You were right, I should have told you in private. You told me your story in private, I should have given you the same courtesy. Like I once said, I'm all apologies."

Tommy smiled as he remembered that night. He hadn't planned it the way it had turned out but looking back, it's the only way it could have turned out. Being locked up with Jude for hours was one of the best things that could have happened. They had written an amazing song that had soared to the number one spot and had become even closer than they'd ever been. He just hoped they could get back to that point.

"You're forgiven," he said taking his seat again, except this time he sat right beside her, there wasn't any space separating them.

I slowly laid my head down on his chest and was comforted by the sound of his heart beat. I had missed this. Just quiet moments with Tommy that to other people wouldn't mean that much but to me, it was perfect.

"Tell me about Aubrey," I said softly snuggling in when he started smoothing my arm.

"She's quiet," Tommy said just as softly. "She barely says a word half the time. She loves this one stuffed animal, it's a purple cow. I think my sister gave it to her when she first got sick. She rarely laughs but she does get a sparkle in her eyes when she finds something funny. She loves the piano. I'll find her sitting there at odd moments just staring at it."

"You're going to have to get her music lessons," I said smiling as I pictured little Aubrey playing the piano like a pro someday.

"I'm planning on it. She likes you Jude," he said wrapping both his arms around me.

"She barely met me," I said looking up at him surprised to see him smiling down at me.

He shook his head at me. "It doesn't matter Jude, she likes you. I know that just by watching her interact with you that one time. She hides Jude when people come over, but not with you. Plus, she loves your music. She has me constantly playing your songs on the stereo or the piano."

"My youngest fan," I said chuckling a little.

"I want you to move in with me," Tommy said slowly like he knew I was going to freak out. But he was wrong.

"Why?" I asked softly. If he for one minute thought I would move in just because some freak was harassing me, he was crazy. But if he wanted me to move in because he wanted me there, I would in a heart beat.

"Because I care about you," he said placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Because I want to spend my free time with you. I want you to get to know Aubrey, I think you'll both be good for each other." He took a deep breath before he added the part that would have annoyed me except that he'd spoken the words in a way that I couldn't say no too. "And because I'm afraid something is going to happen to you and I can't imagine my life without you in it."

"You suck," I said wiping the tears away. I snuggled back into his chest and it was my turn to take a deep breath. "I'll move in with you Tommy but some things are going to have to change."

"I know," Tommy said nodding.

"We can't keep hurting each other," I said honestly. "We have to be open and honest with one another."

"It's going to be different Jude," Tommy said rubbing my arm again. "I promise you, it's going to be different." It only took another five minutes before my eyes were closing and Tommy was telling me to go to sleep. It had been another long day and I hadn't been sleeping very well the last couple nights. But I had a feeling that was going to change.


	27. Chapter 27

**Okay everybody, I'm updating again but it's not a Jommy chapter (I know, disappointed sigh). But I needed a break from Jommy for one chapter because I promised more Callie and I thought this pair might make an interesting combo. So I'm trying it out and I'll see what you think. **

**By the way, thank you so much for all the reviews. I about cried when I saw how everybody responded. (The last chapter was my favorite!) Don't worry, more Jommy is of course on the way. **

**Chapter 27**

Callie was yawning as she walked into G Major the next morning. The sun wasn't even up yet and she was expected to sing and actually sound good. "I should rethink this whole singing career," she muttered walking into Studio C.

"You shouldn't talk to yourself," Spiederman said from the couch where he was all sprawled out. "People might start thinking you're crazy."

"Well they might be right then," Callie said glaring at him before looking away. There was something about Spiederman that made her uncomfortable. The way he treated Jude for one. She understood about loving someone who doesn't love you but being nasty about it when you agreed to the break up was just plain mean. Two, he was never serious about anything. All he did was crack joke after joke after joke and it was annoying. But the worst thing about Spied was…that she couldn't stop thinking about him.

They'd only talked maybe two times before, when Kwest had told her they would be her new band, at least for awhile and when he asked her to hand him his water a couple nights before on a late studio stay. So she couldn't even base her thoughts on actual conversations, but she thought about him all the time.

"So Callie," Spied said getting even more comfortable. "Do you have anything new for us tonight or are we just going to sit around and be bored like last time?"

"I told you last time I couldn't concentrate because I was worried about Jude," Callie said shooting him another glare.

"Jude," Spied muttered. "That's all anybody worries about anymore."

"Because she's got a psycho calling her, sending her letters and taking random pictures of her," Callie pointed out. "You should be worried too. You were one of her best friends there for awhile."

"Not anymore," Spied said smiling.

Callie tossed down the pen she had just picked up. "What is your problem? Why do you have to act like a prick all the time?"

"Hey wait a minute," Spied said standing up to defend himself.

"No," Callie said coldly. "You walk around here acting like you don't care that Jude's in a lot of trouble right now but in reality, you care more than anybody." She shook her head at him. "You love her and you're just mad because she can't love you back. Grow up Spied, not everybody gets what they want."

"So you think because you spend a couple months with Jude and what, a whole week here in Toronto that you know all of us now," Spied said getting angry. "You don't know anything about me and definitely nothing about my feelings towards Jude."

"Are you going to tell me you don't love her?" Callie asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"No," Spied said shaking his head. "I don't like to lie, it's bad for my karma. Of course I love her. She's my Rock Goddess." He took a deep breath before continuing. "But I'm not in love with her. I don't think I ever was."

I stared at him in surprise. "Then why do you hate her so much?"

"I don't hate her," Spied said looking at her like she was an idiot. "I just get so mad at her for making the dumbest decisions." He sat back down on the couch and laid his head on the back of it. "Like with Tommy. All that guy does is break her heart. Time after time and she keeps letting him."

"It's love," Callie said walking over so she could sit beside him.

"It's stupid," Spied said shaking his head at the word. "

"So you never were in love with Jude," Callie said softly.

"I wanted to be but found out that there were many guys already in love with Jude," Spied said smiling sadly. "I decided I would be better off being her friend. Her best friend. That's something that's harder to replace."

"You have a weird way of showing her that," Callie commented.

"I don't know how to tell her that," Spied countered.

Callie laid her head back too and tried to think of a way he could tell her. "Just telling her what you told me would probably work," she said when her mind came up blank.

"Yeah," Spied said thoughtfully. "Or I could just continue on the way I have been and see what happens."

Callie turned her head and nearly jumped when she saw him staring right back at her. "You are such a wuss," she said playfully standing up when Kwest walked into the room.

"Kyle and Wally will be here in a second," Kwest said without even looking up from the paperwork in his hands. "They went on a coffee run." He sat down behind the board and made one more note on the paper and then looked up. "I hope you got something new, Darius is on the warpath again."

"I think I've got a little something," Callie said smiling when she grabbed her journal. It took her a couple minutes to get situated with a guitar and the microphone but soon she was nodding at Kwest that she was ready.

_That morning sun was burnin' in my eyes  
I could see a brand new day  
And all the hurt and anger weighin' on my heart  
Had begun to drift away  
I saw it written on a church marquee as I drove into town  
Said today's a new beginning friend  
And I had to laugh out loud, 'cause there's no doubt  
_

"God this girls got a voice," Kwest said as he tapped the pen to the beat.

Spiederman stood up so he could see her better and watched her sing. He even had to admit that she was amazing. Jude could sing, she was the Rock Goddess but Callie…she was a Punk Princess.

_  
I'm a brand new me  
I've been shattered by the storm but I survived  
I'm a brand new me  
I found a revelation in the tears I cried  
I opened up my eyes  
Oh, what a change I see  
I'm a brand new me  
_

"Okay dude, you need to stop giving girls those stupid names," Kwest said shaking his head.

"I said that out loud," Spied said feeling his face flush.

_  
There's a warrior and a victim living deep  
Inside all of us  
We have to choose to fight or surrender  
When the world beats us up  
I know where my weakness lies,_

_But I know it's a fight that I can win  
I may get broken trying to get up  
But I can't wait to start again, I'm gonna start again  
_

"So Spied's crushing on the new girl," Kwest said leaning back in his chair. He stared at Spied silently before smiling. "I think you two would be cute together."

"I never said anything about a crush," Spied denied vehemently.

_  
I'm a brand new me  
I've been shattered by the storm but I survived  
I'm a brand new me  
I found a revelation in the tears I cried  
I opened up my eyes  
Oh, what a change I see  
I'm a brand new me_

"Didn't have to," Kwest said still smiling as he adjusted the board. "It's written all over your face. But it's cool; I always felt a little bad for you when Jude and you broke up."

"Don't feel bad for me," Spied said seriously. He didn't want people feeling bad for him because he didn't even feel that bad. Jude had her white knight already. She had her soul mate, even if he wasn't the best guy for her. He'd just stepped out of the way before his heart had been involved too deep.

_  
Days come and go, yeah they come and go like a road with no end  
Hope fades but never dies  
Just look at me catchin' my second wind  
_

"Oh I don't," Kwest said his smile becoming more of a smirk. "Anymore."

"_I'm a brand new me,_" Callie sang ending the song on a rough note. "Sorry Kwest, I'm going to have to work on that part."

"It's okay," Kwest said nodding his head. "It was good for the first play but we'll work on it. Take five."

Spied watched her set the guitar down and take a drink from her water bottle. He'd be an idiot to deny there was something there when he looked at Callie. She was beautiful in a natural sort of way. She was blunt which was something else that he really liked. But he just didn't know what he felt towards her exactly.

"Something wrong," Callie said after she came back into the studio. Spied was just standing there staring off into space. "Hello, anybody home?"

"Uh…no," Spied said before turning to walk out of the room.

"Strange," Callie said before taking a seat by Kwest.

"Not that strange," Kwest said before going into the suggestions he'd written down during the song.

Callie nodded and tried to act interested but all she could think about was Spiederman…again. If he was being honest, really honest, that he didn't think of Jude that way; then she had no excuse. It was time to stop denying the fact that she was attracted to Spiederman. Now if she only knew how to tell him.


	28. Chapter 28

**Here's the next update everybody. I am so proud of myself. I'm updating like crazy lately. Well I hope you like this chapter, I enjoyed writing it. So Yeah, R and R please.**

**Oh and thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter. I loved them, like usual. :)**

**Chapter 28**

"Okay Jude, I need you to start from the beginning," Tommy said into the microphone. It was the next afternoon and after a slightly uncomfortable wake up with him on the couch this morning, we were having a great day in the studio. We'd already recorded the music for my newest song I Am and we were starting to record the lyrics.

"Alright," I said standing up. I never felt like I could sing my best while sitting down.

"I am take one in 3...2...1," Tommy said pointing to me as the music flowed through my head phones.

_I'm an angel, I'm a devil  
I am sometimes in between  
I'm as bad it can get  
And good as it can be  
Sometimes I'm a million colors  
Sometimes I'm black and white  
I am all extremes  
Try figure me out you never can  
There's so many things I am_

"New song," Darius asked walking up behind Tommy.

"Her next hit," Tommy said turning in the chair so he was facing his boss.

_I am special  
I am beautiful  
I am wonderful  
I'm powerful  
Unstoppable  
Sometimes I'm miserable  
Sometimes I'm pitiful  
But that's so typical of all the things I am_

"How's she doing?" Darius asked crossing his arms over his chest.

"She's scared," Tommy said turning to look at Jude for a second. "She doesn't want to admit it for some reason but she is." He flipped a switch on the board before continuing on. "She's going to move in with me until the police catch him. We've already packed a bag last night."

_I'm someone filled with self-belief  
I'm haunted by self-doubt  
I've got all the answers  
I've got nothing figured out  
I like to be by myself  
I hate to be alone  
I'm up and I am down  
But that's part of the thrill  
Part of the plan  
Part of all of the things I am_

"Okay," Darius said nodding his head. "Now how 'bout you tell me what's going on?"

Tommy stared at him, wondering how much he should tell him and what he should keep to himself. But in the end, he told him everything. "I love her Darius. I can't just sit back and watch her be harassed by this guy. If she moves in with me maybe I can get her to trust me again…to love me back."

_I am special  
I am beautiful  
I am wonderful  
I'm powerful  
Unstoppable  
Sometimes I'm miserable  
Sometimes I'm pitiful  
But that's so typical of all the things I am_

"I don't know if that's the issue here," Darius said motioning to Jude. "She loves you Tom, always has and I honestly believe she always will. Which is remarkable considering her age but Jude always was different."

"Yeah she is," Tommy said smiling as he stared at her.

_I'm a million contradictions  
Sometimes I make no sense  
Sometimes I'm perfect  
Sometimes I'm a mess  
Sometimes I'm not sure who I am_

"But you were right when you said trust," Darius continued after a couple minutes had gone by. "That girl doesn't know how to trust anymore and she use to trust everybody."

"She's been burned badly," Tommy said softly.

_I am special  
I am beautiful  
I am wonderful  
And powerful  
Unstoppable  
Sometimes I'm miserable  
Sometimes I'm pitiful  
But that's so typical of all the things I am_

"The main thing I wanted to tell you was to take care of her. She's my number one artist but more importantly, she's been through enough," he warned. "Take care of her Tommy. Don't break her heart again."

_I am special  
I am beautiful  
I am wonderful  
I'm powerful  
Unstoppable  
Sometimes I'm miserable  
Sometimes I'm pitiful  
But that's so typical of all the things I am  
Of all the things I am  
Sometimes I'm miserable  
Sometimes I'm pitiful  
But that's so typical of all the things I am  
Of all the things I am_

"Never again," Tommy said before flipping the switch and spoke into the mic. "That was great Jude but lets go one more time before we break." He turned to say something to Darius but he was gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"It's a hit Jude," Tommy said holding the CD out towards me.

"I feel it," I admitted as I held the CD in my hands. "This is the first song where I think I've stripped myself bare for everyone to see…hear."

"Nah I think Skin did that for you to," Tommy pointed out.

"I guess," I said staring at the disk. "It feels right Tommy." I closed my eyes praying for the confidence to make a move towards Tommy. "Thank you for helping me with this song." I slowly leaned in hoping my eyes were telling him that I was making a move.

"I'm always willing to help you," Tommy said leaning in towards me.

"I know," I said softly placing my hand on his cheek.

"Hey Tommy, Liam wants you in his office pronto," Ian one of the newest interns said knocking on the door.

I closed my eyes and really wanted to throw a temper tantrum. I was finally making a move, me, not Tommy. He'd made plenty of moves and it was my turn to make one. But why did Liam need him now of all times.

"I'll be right back," Tommy said through clenched teeth. Jude had almost made a move and some damn intern had to interrupt.

I waited five minutes but when it became obvious he wasn't going to be "right back" I decided to take a break. I started towards the break room but after taking a step inside and seeing Sadie and Kwest wrapped in each other's arms, I changed my course. Just because I'd been interrupted doesn't mean I have to interrupt another happy couple. Not that Tommy and I were a couple…we were more like…I have no freaking clue what we were.

"And that's always been our problem," I muttered walking into the alley. We never were able to be anything other than producer and artist. Every time we maybe stepped in the right direction towards being something else one of us would run. Okay, Tommy would run. But lately, he doesn't seem like he's going to run anymore.

"I mean, he bought a house," I said to myself. He has a daughter now or well a niece but he was her guardian. He wasn't putting down roots here and he'd never done that before. Maybe he was ready to take the next step and that's what he'd been trying to tell me last night without actually using the words.

"But what if I tell him I'm falling for him all over again and he runs," I said kicking the wall.

"I hope he does," somebody said from behind me.

"What?" I asked starting to turn around. I didn't even get a chance before somebody pushed my back and sent me headlong into the brick wall of G Major. I think I screamed but that's the last thing I remember before everything went dark.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Jude," Tommy said walking back into the studio but froze when he didn't see her. He left the studio and headed towards the break room but froze for entirely different reasons when he saw Kwest's hands on Sadie's ass.

"Kwest man, sorry, but have you seen Jude?" he asked looking everywhere but at them.

"Aww no man, sorry," Kwest said pulling away from Sadie.

"Where is she?" Tommy muttered walking down the hallway checking every room as he went by. Finally he reached the alley door and opened it and glanced around but didn't see anything.

"Jude!" Tommy yelled walking back into the main lobby of G Major.

"She went outside," Ian said looking up from the front desk.

"Where?" Tommy asked sharply causing everybody to stare at him. "Where outside Ian?"

"The all..alley… Mr. Quincy," Ian stuttered.

"Tommy," Darius said walking out of his office. "What's wrong?"

"I can't find Jude," Tommy said running back towards the alley door. He didn't care that most of the employees of G Major were following him. He needed to find Jude and he needed to find her now.

"Jude!" he yelled looking around. He still didn't see anything and he was about to rip his hair out. Jude knew that she wasn't suppose to go anywhere without somebody with her.

"I'm sure she's just running an errand or something," Darius said knowing that Jude wouldn't have done that after being told to go nowhere by herself.

"She's here," Sadie yelled.

Tommy whipped around and took off towards Sadie who had been making her way down the alley looking for her sister. His heart almost stopped when he saw Jude lying on the ground not moving. If she was dead his whole life would be over.

"She's breathing Tommy," Sadie said relaxing for just a moment. But soon her heart was racing again when Jude started groaning and moving around.

"Jude," Tommy said kneeling down beside her. He wanted to punch something when she rolled over and he saw the blood on her face. Somebody had hurt her. Somebody had laid his hands on her and he was going to kill them. Just as soon as he killed Jude for going outside alone.


	29. Chapter 29

**I am so sorry for taking so long to update. My life has been so hectic lately and I had a major case of writer's block. But I am proud of this chapter and how it turned out. So please review after reading it. I would love to hear what you have to say.  
**

**Thank you to everybody who has reviewed up to this point. You make me work even harder when I'm stuck, even if it doesn't show. So thank you. **

**Chapter 29**

I groaned as I opened my eyes, hating the ache that had become my head. If I never got pushed head first into a brick wall again, it would be too soon. I wanted to get angry and yell but then the ache would turn to pounding. I didn't do to well with pain…I'm kind of a baby about it. If I get a cold it was the end of the world, I would literally say I was dying.

I don't remember much of my trip to the hospital. Just Sadie crying as they loaded me into the ambulance and then I think I must have blocked out because I had no idea how I got from the ambulance to the ER.

I rolled over and mentally cursed the doctor that told me that he would prescribe me pain killers but he thought over the counter medicine would do the trick. Was he nuts, my head felt like it was going to explode. I still can't believe Darius talked them into letting me go to Tommy's house instead of the over night stay in the ICU. But basically I just need to be woken up every couple hours but I only had a slight concussion. But I don't see how that is possible with my head about to fall off.

I heard my door creak open slowly and closed my eyes. I didn't want to answer any questions so it's just easier to pretend to be sleeping than look into Tommy's eyes when he looked so angry. I was pretty sure he wasn't angry at me but maybe a little part of him was. I did go outside knowing that was against the recommendations of the police.

When I didn't hear steps walk into the room I sighed and opened my eyes and saw Aubrey standing in my doorway. I tried to smile reassuringly but I probably just came across scary looking.

"Hey Aubrey," I whispered waving with one hand.

I watched as she walked towards me with her tiny steps, almost like she didn't feel like she was welcome. I helped her up so she was laying down beside me. I smoothed her back like my Mom use to do for me and watched as she closed her eyes with a small smile on her face.

"I wish you would talk to me Aubrey," I whispered again. "I need somebody to talk to right now." I rolled over so I was staring at the ceiling. "Somebody tried to kill me today. Well maybe not kill me but they could have seriously hurt me. I was lucky…that's what everybody keeps saying. Somehow I don't look at it quite like that. If I was lucky I wouldn't have some stalker following me, taking pictures of me and pushing me into walls. He really hates me Aubrey."

When she just made a little grunting noise, I know she wasn't hearing a word I was saying but I kept talking anyway. "I never should have won that contest. Ever since I won and became Canada's next Instant Star I've had to deal with crap. I don't even feel like Jude anymore…I'm like becoming a pod person. Worse than that…I feel like I'm turning into Eden or something. I just do what everybody tells me to do and try not to make waves."

I closed my eyes and nearly jumped out of my skin when Tommy spoke from the doorway. "You could never be Eden Jude," he said stepping into the room. He felt bad for dropping her off in her room and leaving her but he had needed to cool down before and he couldn't do that when he stared at her face. She had little cuts all over and you could tell by looking into her eyes that she was in pain.

"Not cute enough," I joked smirking.

"Too talented," Tommy said shaking his head. He walked around to the other side of the bed and sat down beside me. So now I was in the middle between Aubrey and Tommy. "You aren't a pod person either. You're just paying your dues. Everybody has to and you aren't even really compromising yourself. You still have a lot of creative control over the actual music."

"Just not over my hair, clothes, make up or basically the rest of my life," I said bitterly.

"Does all that really matter if you have control over the music?" Tommy asked softly.

"I guess not," I admitted. I did have control over my music finally and I should just be okay with that. But a part of me wanted total control, I got the control freak part of my personality from my Mom.

"Are you okay?" Tommy asked placing his hand gently on my face.

"I feel like somebody is continually hitting my head with a hammer," I said closing my eyes. I loved the way it felt when he rubbed my head like this, it felt so good.

"I should have been there," Tommy said shaking his head again.

"No," I said opening my eyes. "I knew better than to go outside alone like that. I just needed to breath and going outside just felt right. I wasn't even thinking about this Josh guy following me."

"Promise me next time you won't go anywhere alone," Tommy said seriously.

"I promise Tommy," I said softly. "Believe me, I don't want my head meeting anymore walls anytime soon. Once was enough."

Tommy shook his head. "I was right though."

"About what?" I asked curiously.

"I've always said you have a hard head," Tommy said smiling. I rolled my eyes which just made him laugh. "I'm going to take Aubrey to her room now, get some sleep."

"No," I said laying my arm down on Aubrey. "Can she stay?"

"I guess," Tommy said stopping from picking her up.

"Thanks," I said before closing my eyes. It was comforting having her beside me. Hearing her take her little shallow breaths and grunting in her sleep. I just wish she would open up to me and tell me why she was afraid to talk. I wanted to be comforting for her too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Callie poured herself a glass of wine and then took a sip from the open bottle. It had been a long day at the studio and then with Jude getting attacked in the alley. She hadn't got a chance to tell anybody that she wouldn't be in tomorrow. She had woken up this morning smiling, not even realizing the date. January 28th. The day before her whole life had changed. She usually spent the day in a daze, her mind wrapped up in the past.

Callie never worked on the 29th of January. She didn't even get out of bed or answer the phone. She just laid in the dark with the blankets over her head and remembered the day, replaying the memory over and over.

She'd have a nightmare tonight. She only had the nightmare on the eve of the anniversary and then the actual anniversary. She was good at putting it away and never thinking about it until that one night and day. It was all she could think about and usually getting drunk dulled the memories a bit.

Callie groaned when somebody knocked on the door. She didn't feel like dealing with anybody right now. She wanted to slam this bottle of wine and then climb into bed and get through the anniversary of watching her sister die.

"Who is it?" she asked as she walked up to the door.

"It's me," Spiederman said smiling when I peeked out through the peephole. I laid my head against the door and swore to myself. Why did he have to show up tonight of all nights?

"What are you doing here?" Callie asked leaning against the door. "Oh if you are looking for Jude she's staying at Tommy's place 'til the psycho is caught."

"I know," Spied said walking into the apartment. He noticed the bottle of wine and full glass right off the bat. She was either celebrating or from the look on her face, wallowing. "Celebrating?"

Callie closed the door when Spied sat down on the couch. It was obvious she wasn't going to get rid of him that easily. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle before walking over to the couch. "Forgetting."

"Forgetting what?" Spied asked softly.

"Who am I kidding? I'll never forget," Callie said not even hearing what he said. She set the bottle down on the coffee table and covered her face with her hands. "I always get drunk today. I get plastered so I can attempt to forget. But it never works."

"Forget what?" Spied asked a little louder.

"How can I possibly forget?" Callie asked rhetorically. She stood up and began to pace. "I only made the biggest mistake of my life and I think I have the right to forget. I have to remember for the rest of my life, it's my penance."

"Callie, forget what?" Spied asked again standing up and stopping her by putting both his hands on her shoulders.

"Huh?" Callie asked staring at him like she forgot he was there, and she had. She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry Spied, I bet you didn't think you would have to deal with a crazy person when you stopped by tonight did ya? If only you had come yesterday or the day after tomorrow, I'd be fine."

"What's wrong with today?" Spied asked slowly.

Callie stared at him and contemplated what she should do. She liked him and she didn't know if she wanted him to know how selfish and stupid she had been. But she also wanted to talk about it. She needed to talk about it and with Jude gone, she didn't know who else to talk to.

So she told him. She told him about the shooting, about the running away and about how she chose not to deal every year on the anniversary. "I blame myself only because I know it's my fault. She wouldn't have been there. Hell, I shouldn't have been there."

"It's not your fault," Spied said maneuvering me so I was sitting on the couch again. "You made stupid choices yes but you were also a teenager. Teenagers make stupid decisions, ask my parents. Yours just ended in a tragedy."

"I killed their daughter," Callie said staring at him like he was an idiot. That wasn't a stupid choice, that was murder.

"You didn't pull the trigger," Spied said shaking his head. "Some punk did and I'm sure he's in jail right now for it."

"Oh he's probably out by now," Callie said softly. "He got Juvie, he was only 16 at the time."

"So what, her death is on his conscious, not yours," Spied insisted taking both her hands in his. "His day is coming because let me tell you, karma is a real bitch."

"Karma? You believe in karma?" Callie asked incredulously.

"You don't?" Spied asked surprised. "Everybody should."

"Just doesn't seem like something you'd believe in," Callie mumbled still reeling from the fact he wasn't running out the door. She always thought when she admitted to how messed up she had been that people wouldn't be able to reach the door fast enough. But this was the third person to tell her it wasn't her fault. First Lauren, then Jude and now Spied. Maybe just maybe, she needed to stop blaming herself.

"Now I know getting drunk sounds good right about now," Spied said grabbing the bottle of wine and the glass. He carried both to the kitchen and dumped them out in the sink. "But in the morning you'd regret it since we have an early studio time and being hung-over is bad for the singing."

"But I never work on…" Callie started to say.

"Correction, you use to never work on the 29th," Spied said sitting back down the on the couch. "Tomorrow you will because you shouldn't wallow in the past. She wouldn't want you to and I know I don't want you to. Besides, I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. I think I kinda like you and in order for a relationship to develop, we need to spend time together." He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Please don't leave," Callie said latching onto his arm before he could stand up. "I'm going to have nightmares as soon as I fall asleep and if I can put it off for another hour or two, I'd really appreciate it."

Spied slowly leaned back against the couch until his shoulder was touching hers. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. "I'll stay on one condition."

"What's that?" Callie asked confused.

"I get total control of the remote," he said making Callie smile.

"Deal," Callie said softly. She was too busy staring at him to notice what he put on the TV anyway. She had been so sure tonight was going to be terrible and had been prepared to hit rock bottom. But maybe now it wouldn't be so bad.


	30. Chapter 30

**Here's the next update. Only a few more chapters left of this story. I want to end it before the new season starts so know that it will be finished soon. Thank you for everybody who's been with this story since the beginning. I love reading your reviews. Keep them coming.**

**Chapter 30**

"This is stupid," Tommy said shaking his head as he hit the steering wheel.

"That's the fifth time you said that," I snapped. "I get it, you think I'm being stupid. Can we change the subject now?"

"Yesterday you get your head slammed into a wall and today you decide to go back on National TV and call him weak," Tommy said still pissed off.

"I need to make another statement, even Darius thinks so," I said quietly.

"Darius just wants to sell some albums," Tommy said sarcastically.

"No he doesn't," I said shaking my head slowly. "You know he cares about me and you. He'd never purposely do anything just for some album sales."

Tommy was silent for a moment. "Do you understand that if you say the wrong thing he'll come after you? That it won't matter how much security we have on you, he'll find a way to get to you."

"I want it to end," I said looking out my window. I didn't know how to explain it but I needed to end it. I needed to deal with this Josh guy so I could deal with the rest of my life. Like my feelings for Tommy. I loved him, all his imperfections and hang ups. I think I always will be in love with him. He has my heart but I'm not sure he knows what to do with it. And we couldn't work on that when I have a stalker following me around.

We made it to G Major without any more arguing but after we were inside he stormed into his office and slammed the door. I rolled my eyes but made my way towards Darius's office instead of Tommy's. He needed to get passed his over protectiveness and realize that we needed to do this.

"Jude," Spiederman said walking up behind me.

I paused and closed my eyes. Just what I needed, somebody else telling me all my faults and imperfections. "Yes Spied," I said after a moment had gone by.

"Can we talk?" he asked quietly looking around. "You know, in private."

"I only have a couple minutes," I said before following him into one of the empty conference rooms.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry," he said softly.

"What?" I asked truly surprised. I never thought I'd hear him say that, Spied never liked admitting he was wrong or apologizing.

"I've been a little hard on you," he admitted sheepishly.

"A little," I said skeptically.

"Okay, a lot hard on you," he said rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry too," I said smiling sadly. "I never should have left the way I did. But Tommy wasn't the reason I came back."

"Really," he said skeptically.

"Okay, not the only reason," I said making us both smile. "But I am sorry I didn't call you or write or anything. I just didn't know how to admit that I'd made a mistake and didn't know how to fix it. I honestly needed a break and running off to New York was probably the best thing I could have done."

"I agree," Spied said nodding his head.

"Huh…what?" I asked confused.

"If you hadn't I'd never have met Callie," Spied said smirking.

"You…Callie…what?" I asked again. I had to be honest and say I'd never seen this coming.

"I like her," Spied said shrugging his shoulders. "She's different but in a good way."

"I hope it works out," I said after a moment. "But I do feel that I should tell you that she's been through a lot."

"You mean her foster sister," Spied said nodding his head.

"She told you," I said surprised. Callie had told me that nobody knew except for Lauren and now me. Telling Spied must mean she felt something for him.

"I don't think she planned on telling me," Spied explained. "But since today's the anniversary, last night she wasn't dealing to well and I stopped by. I sort of pressured her into telling me."

"Anniversary…" I said softly shocked. I couldn't believe that my best friend hadn't told me that it was the anniversary of the worst day in her life. "She didn't even tell me."

"You were kind of unconscious for part of the day and then surrounded by…Tommy," Spied said shrugging his shoulders. "She's okay though, well, as okay as she can be."

"I need to talk to her," I said starting to walk out of the room but I stopped in the doorway and turned back to look at Spied. "Thanks Spied for apologizing. It's going to be nice to have my Bart back." I left him smiling and hurried to the studio where Callie was suppose to be recording.

"Jude," Kwest said as I walked into the room. I just shook my head at him and walked into the recording room where Callie was currently singing one of her songs.

"Ahh…Jude…recording here," Callie said looking at Kwest who was shrugging his shoulders.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," I said wrapping my arms around her to give her a huge hug.

"Kwest, can we have a moment?" Callie asked quickly. Just because she'd told Spied last night didn't mean she wanted everybody to know about the accident that had changed her life. It was personal and she was just getting use to Spied knowing.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked putting my hands on my hips.

"Mainly because I didn't even remember until last night when I looked at the calendar," Callie said sitting back down on the stool. "Plus you've had a lot on your plate lately. You don't need my added drama in your life."

"You should have called me," I said stubbornly.

"Jude," Callie said laughing. "You were recovering from a concussion and Tommy would have intercepted any calls anyway."

"Then I would have smacked him," I pointed out. "I'm your friend Callie, that means you can call me anytime, concussion or no concussion. Bodyguard or no bodyguard."

"It's okay Jude," Callie said still chuckling. "Spiederman showed up. He helped actually…a lot."

"I heard," I said biting my lip to keep from smiling.

"Don't get the wrong idea," Callie said quickly. "He's a nice guy but he's young and he has no idea what kind of life I led before moving here." Callie paused for a moment. "Well maybe he does since I did tell him about the…accident. But still, he's your ex and I know that would be weird so I'm not even going there, I promise."

"While that's too bad," I said shaking my head.

"It is," Callie said slowly.

"Yep," I said backing out of the room. "Because he really likes you."

"Jude," Callie said starting to follow me but I laughed as I hurried out of the room. I heard my cell phone ringing and held up so Callie could see.

"Hello," I said still smiling.

"Jude Harrison, I didn't think you'd answer." I froze when I heard his voice. I never thought he'd call me again. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised. "Not going to say anything I see or maybe you aren't alone."

"That would be true," I said softly deciding to play along with whatever he wanted to say. Maybe he'd finally give me something to give to the police.

"Well why don't you take a break from your little bodyguard and go to 1768 Old Mill Rd. so we can have a little talk," Josh said from the other end of the phone.

"Now why would I do that?" I asked holding up a finger for Callie. She nodded and walked back into the recording room to look at her music. I sighed when I was finally alone.

"Because I have a feeling you want this to end as much as I do," Josh said smartly.

"Of course I want it to end but why would I meet the person who just recently gave me a concussion?" I asked confused. Did he honestly think I would just climb into my car and drive to meet my stalker? Was he truly that insane?

"That was an accident," he said sounding annoyed.

"You accidentally pushed my head into a wall," I said skeptically.

"No I just got so angry when you started talking about love," he said after a moment of silence.

"Why don't you just turn yourself in," I said already knowing the answer to that question.

"And go to jail for ten years," he said laughing harshly. "Yeah right, that's not going to happen. If you want this to end you have to meet me so we can have it out."

"See when you say things like that, it doesn't make me feel like meeting you anywhere," I said rolling my eyes. Was this guy for real?

"You'll meet me," he said before hanging up.

I closed my phone slowly while I shook my head. He was right in a way. I did want to go, I wanted to meet him and find out why he hated me so much. There had to be a reason. He couldn't have just decided to hate me that night at that bar. Could he?

"Jude," Kwest said breaking into my thoughts. "Darius is impatiently waiting for you in his office."

"On my way," I said quickly. I made my way towards Darius's office but froze in the doorway when I got there. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to go meet this guy myself and find out why but I knew that if I did I'd be risking everything. So as I walked into Darius's office, I knew what I had to do.


	31. Chapter 31

**Here's the latest update everybody. Sorry it's taken so long but I've been a bit wrapped up in some other things and I've been strangely uninspired lately. But I've finally come through. I hope you like it. There's only a couple chapters left so the end is in sight. R and R please.**

**Chapter 31**

"This is insane," Darius said throwing his hands up in the air.

Officer Myhrer's shook his head at the head honcho of G Major. "I assure you that this is the best possible way for us to get this guy. We can't just show up, he'll spot watching for Jude and he'll run when he sees a police car instead."

"She's a musician and a teenage girl, not bait," Darius snapped. He had been arguing for what seemed like hours but in reality it was only ten minutes.

"She's not going to be bait exactly," the officer tried again.

"She's going to walk into a building with a known blackmailer and pervert while you wait and make sure it's the right guy," Darius said slowly. "That to me sounds like bait. She could be assaulted again while you are waiting outside."

"Darius," I said trying to break into the conversation.

"She won't be in any real danger," Officer Myhrer's insisted.

"You have no way of really knowing that," Darius said glaring at him.

"Darius," I said more loudly. I wanted to scream at the way they were ignoring me. I was sitting right there and yet neither man chose to acknowledge me.

If you hadn't guessed I had chose to tell Darius that Josh wanted to meet me in person and he called Officer Myhrer's to get his input. I'm sure that he regrets that decision now but at the time he wanted the police to handle it. I cleared my throat but that didn't work either as both men started yelling.

"Darius!" Tommy yelled bursting into his office. "All of G Major can hear you, what in the hell is going on?" He froze when he saw the police and then shut the door quietly when his eyes landed on me. "Darius, what is going on?" he asked quietly.

"Seems Jude's stalker wants to meet her in person," Darius said before I could say anything. "Jude came and told me choosing the smart path for once and I called the trusted police. Turns out their idea of catching a criminal is to use Jude as bait."

"No way in hell," Tommy growled.

I stared at him surprise. I knew Tommy would probably take sides with Darius. But to growl the words. I hated to say it but I felt my heart swoon a little bit. Tommy was good at hiding his emotions behind a thick wall but I think by the look Darius and Officer Myhrer's gave him, his emotions were out of the bag, so to speak.

"I don't know who you are," Officer Myhrer started to say.

"Jude's producer," Tommy said crossing his arms over his chest. "But more importantly, her friend. And as her friend, I am saying this isn't a good idea."

"You don't even know the full plan," the officer said shaking his head.

"Guys," I said standing up. The only one to even look at me was Officer Myhrer and he looked almost defeated. "I'll do it," I said to him smiling sadly. He looked surprised and I shrugged my shoulders. "I may be a teenager but I know that this is the best way to get this Josh guy off my back. Let me get my bag and I'll be ready to go."

I don't know what finally stopped Darius and Tommy from taking turns ranting. It could have been my leaving Darius's office or it could have been Officer Myhrer leaving. But when I grabbed my bag out of the studio Tommy slammed the door before I could turn to go.

"What in the hell do you think you are doing?" Tommy asked leaning against the closed door.

"Helping the police put my stalker in jail," I said holding my bag in front of me. Tommy looked angry and I didn't really want to make him even angrier but I couldn't lie. I would do whatever the police asked of me.

"You don't have to be there Jude," Tommy said walking towards me.

"Yes I do Tommy," I said backing up. If I let him touch me, I'd cave. I'd just go along with whatever he said, he has that much power over me. "I have to do this Tommy, mainly because I want too. I want to talk to this guy Tommy. I need to hear from him why he hates me so much. Why he chose me?"

"Does it really matter?" Tommy asked confused.

"To me it does," I admitted sadly. "He took months away from my life. He violated me and made me feel dirty. He pushed me into a wall for pete's sake Tommy. I need to know why."

"You're putting yourself in danger Jude," Tommy said shaking his head. "I can't believe you'd willingly put yourself in danger just to ask a few questions."

I shook my head at him. "Tommy I have to know. He chose me for some reason. He hates me."

"I won't be here when you get back," Tommy said after a moment had gone by. I stared at him in shock. He was leaving…again. "I'm taking a vacation of sorts. I'm going to take Aubrey to Montana for a visit with Anna and then I don't know."

"So you're leaving again," I said my voice barely sounding like my own.

"Not for good," he said slowly. "But I need a break."

"You need a break," I said nodding my head. "Well that's great Tommy. Thanks for coming back for such a short while. You should have just stayed gone." I started to walk by him but he grabbed my arm to stop me.

"I came back for you Jude," he said softly. "I wanted to be with you, publicly. I wanted to be your best friend. I wanted to be the guy you see when you look at me. But you don't need me to be anymore. I came back to be with a Jude that doesn't exist anymore. This Jude doesn't need me."

I opened my mouth but no words could came out. I didn't know what to say. I watched him leave the studio and didn't say anything. I didn't even move until Officer Myhrer stood in the doorway looking at me expectantly. I took a deep breath and put all my thought's of Tommy in the back of my mind. I had something else to focus on entirely. It was time to capture my stalker.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I new I had a hidden microphone on me, I had stood impatiently while a female officer put it on me. I knew that as soon as he admitted to anything they would storm the building and arrest him. I knew that if he tried anything they had a guy on a rooftop across the street watching. But knowing all this still didn't stop my knees from shaking as I walked into the building where he wanted to meet.

It was an abandoned store of some sort. Who knew why he picked this place. But after watching some rodent run by my feet I wish I had a gun to shoot him myself. I absolutely hate rodents of any sort.

"Josh," I said uneasily.

"I knew you'd come," he said walking out from a back room.

"You didn't leave me much of a choice," I said sarcastically. I know they told me not to rile him up but I couldn't be anything other than myself.

"Don't be that way Jude," he said shaking a finger at me. "I just want to talk."

"Somehow I don't believe you," I said rolling my eyes. I waited a minute but he just stared at me. Finally I asked one of the questions that had been bothering me from the start. "Why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you?"

"So how is it being an Instant Star?" he asked starting to pace. I figured it was a rhetorical question so I kept my mouth shut, and I was right. "I bet it's going good. Two albums out, your song's at number one and you've been nominated for a Grammy."

"Been keeping tabs I see," I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"It should have been me," he said stopping two feet in front of me.

I took a step back because the look in his eye made me a little uncomfortable. "What?"

"You don't even have any talent," he said again pointing a finger at me. "But they gave it to you. Because you were _different_. Something new that wasn't out there. Who the hell cares!"

"Were you even there?" I asked before I could stop myself. That was probably one of the questions that was better not asked.

"Was I there?" he asked slowly. "Was I there? Of course I was there! I was the best damn singer on that stage. They should have picked me!"

"I'm sorry but I don't even remember you there," I said shaking my head. "But what I do remember is you at the bar. What getting me drunk wasn't enough, you had to take my picture too and try and kill me by pushing me into a brick wall!"

"I told you why I did that," he said walking towards me. "I hate you Jude Harrison because you took the life that was suppose to be mine. I was the next Instant Star."

"Get over yourself," I said shaking my head. "So you lost a stupid contest. There are ten more where that came from. Or do it the hard way and play clubs 'til you get noticed. If you are as good as you say you are, which I highly doubt, they'll be beating your door down. Now I'm gone."

"I don't think so," he said grabbing my arm.

"Let go of her!" Officer Myhrer's yelled from the doorway.

The moment I'd been waiting for since all the crap had started was finally here and I was surprised to see how quickly it ended. Within five minutes Josh was cuffed and sitting in the back of a police cruiser. I stared at him and shook my head. If I ever became that crazy, I'd shoot myself.


	32. Chapter 32

**Here it is everybody!!! I would have posted it last night but it wouldn't let me. I hope you like it and thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. I loved reading them all. Only one more chapter left!!!!! R and R please!**

**Chapter 32**

It's been seven days since Tommy left. Seven days since Josh was arrested. Seven days since I'd slept a full night. I keep wracking my brain trying to figure out if I could have said or done something differently but I know, deep down, it wouldn't have made a difference. I am who I am and Tommy is who he is. Maybe we just aren't meant to be together.

"Jude," Portia said from the doorway. "It's time to start your hair."

"Okay," I said getting up. It was countdown to Grammy night. I swear Darius had rented out an entire floor of a five star hotel for the occasion. I was the first G Major artist to be nominated and I think he was just a tad bit excited.

"So have you heard from him?" Portia asked ten minutes later when the silence obviously got to be too much.

"No," I said softly. "I don't think I will either."

"Are you okay with that?" Portia asked curiously while attempting to work magic on my lifeless hair.

"I think so," I said smiling sadly. "I guess it's just not mean to be."

"Maybe not," Portia said shrugging her shoulders. She then went on to talk about the outfit she'd chosen for me and the make up she had chosen. I'm pretty sure she was just filling up the silence because I didn't respond to any attempts for conversation.

"Hey Portia," Callie said from the doorway. "Can you give us a minute?"

Portia looked from me to Callie and smiled as she nodded. "Ten minutes though, that's it." She walked towards the doorway calling over her shoulder, "we do have an awards show to get ready for."

I watched in the mirror as Callie sat down on the couch and stared at me. She looked good, hanging out with Spied was good for her. I remembered my short romance with the hot guitarist and knew that she was in good hands.

"How are you doing?" she asked finally.

"Good," I said quickly but relented when she just stared at me. "Okay, not good but I am okay." I stood up and repeated what I told Portia just minutes before. "I guess it's just not meant to be."

"You are stupid," Callie said shaking her head at me.

"Excuse me," I said whipping around so I was facing her.

"I would kill to have a guy look at me the way Tommy looks at you," she said standing up. "He loves you and it shows in everything he does and says. He would do anything for you."

"He's never said it," I said softly.

"Actions speak louder than words Jude," Callie said rolling her eyes at my naiveté. "I just want you to think about one thing. If you honestly think it's not meant to be than let him go. But if you love him as much as I think you do then you better reach out to him. Because he's done all the reaching out as far as I can see and he's gotten nothing in return."

"I'm scared," I admitted wiping away the tears as they started to fall.

"News flash, everybody's scared," Callie said putting her hands on my shoulders. She shook me lightly as she laughed. "Now what's it going to be Harrison?"

I stared at her but in my mind I was picturing every moment I'd spent with Tommy. All the looks both noticed and un-noticed. The hesitant touches that expressed what we couldn't say with words. Those two kisses that I can safely admit to being the best kisses of my life. The tears that I'd cried when I felt him slipping away and the tears of happiness that were few and far between.

"I want him," I said softly but then again louder this time. "I want him."

"That's what I wanted to hear," Callie said clapping her hands together. "Now I personally hate e-mails so I say we go with a phone call."

"No," I said shaking my head. I walked over to my bag and pulled out my journal and handed it to her. "Go to the last page that's written on." I watched her as she read it and smiled when she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "I don't think I'll be performing my latest single."

"Darius is going to kill you," Callie said before shutting the book. "But it's perfect…and it's you."

I walked back over to my chair and sat down smiling at my reflection in the mirror. "Go get Portia," I ordered but then added with a more sheepish smile, "please." I had the performance of my life to give and I damn well better be beautiful for it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm nervous," I said for the fifth time as it got closer and closer to my category.

"Calm down," Darius whispered in my ear. He was slouched down in his seat but he looked confident and comfortable whereas I was fidgeting and biting my nails.

"Easy for you to say," I mumbled shooting him a glare.

I groaned as the presenters took the stage. I didn't care who they were at that point, I just wanted to get it over with. They did their lame monologue and I watched as all the nominees pictures were placed on the big screen TV's on stage and closed my eyes after it was my pictures turn.

"And the Best New Artist is…" the guy said pausing for dramatic effect.

"Please God," I whispered clenching my teeth while I waited.

"Jude Harrison!" He called out and I damn near had a heart attack. I stood up along with my whole party of people. Sadie and Portia were crying as they hugged each other and everybody else. Darius was nodding his head and taking the congratulations like he knew all along it had been coming. He gave pulled me in for a hug and nearly squeezed all the air out of me.

"You deserve this Jude," he said before pushing me into the aisle so I could walk up to the stage.

I tripped up the stairs but that was just my normal klutzy self. I took the Grammy and thanked the presenters but soon I was standing alone in font of thousands of people and I screamed like a girl.

"Oh wow," I said after the laughter had calmed down. "I didn't expect this but I'll gladly except it." The crowd laughed again and I relaxed as I started to thank the people who mattered most to me. "I just want to get out a couple of quick thanks to the fans, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. To Darius, the best boss in the biz. To Portia, you know how to make me beautiful. To my sister Sadie, you are my rock through this craziness. Callie, you are the best friend and I don't think I deserve you. Kwest, you help me more than you can ever know." I took a deep breath before I said the one thanks that was the hardest for me. "And to Tommy, you are my inspiration, my teacher, my everything. I couldn't have done this without you. Thank you."

I left the stage and made my way through all the reporters, answering their questions, though I couldn't have repeated what I said for anybody. I was walking on a cloud for the rest of the evening but soon was brought back down to earth when it was time for my performance. I was waiting backstage with Spied and the guys who were guest starring as my band for this performance only.

I told them of the change and though we'd only rehearsed this song once I knew we were ready. This was my song to Tommy.

I walked out onto the stage and grabbed the microphone in both hands and looked out into the crowd and smiled. "This song goes out to somebody who doesn't even know how much I need him."

_I don't need a lot of things,  
I can get by with nothing  
Of all the blessings life can bring,  
I've always needed something  
But I've got all I want  
When it comes to loving you  
You're my only reason,  
You're my only truth_

_  
I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain  
I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate  
There's a freedom in your arms  
That carries me through  
I need you _

You're the hope that moves me  
To courage again  
You're the love that rescues me  
When the cold winds rage  
And it's so amazing  
'Cause that's just how you are  
And I can't turn back now  
'Cause you've brought me too far

_I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain  
I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate  
There's a freedom in your arms  
That carries me through  
I need you_

_I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain  
I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate  
There's a freedom in your arms  
That carries me through  
I need you_

"I need you," I sang softly and I smiled as the crowd cheered. I looked into the camera right in front of me and winked. I knew Tommy was watching and if that didn't get him to come back to me, then I didn't know what would.


	33. Chapter 33

**Hey everybody! So I know I said this would be the last chapter but this one got a lot longer than planned so there's going to be one more. But thank you for all the reviews I've gotten. I'm sorry it's taken so long to update. But yeah, new season starts tomorrow!!!!! Yeah, can't wait. R and R please.**

**Chapter 33**

"Happy Birthday Jude," Portia said as I headed into my Birthday Bash G Major was throwing me.

I smiled and nodded at everybody as I made my way through the room making sure I said hi to everybody at least once. I was getting better at this whole PR thing. Darius was sure to be proud.

"Happy Birthday Jude," another guest called out and I lifted my hand and waved and said my thanks. I didn't even know who half these people were but with Liam's orders still ringing in my head; "rub elbows with them Jude, make them love you…or at least try."

He's really started to soften toward me. Before he wouldn't have bothered, he just would have been disappointed in me after the fact.

"Jude," Sadie called waving me over. Callie, Spied, Kwest and herself had claimed a couch and it didn't take a genius to see that they were saving a spot for me. I smiled and made my way over. Hanging out with my sister and friends was way better than making small talk with people who just knew me from the TV and my CDs. Although, once you listen to my cds, you know a lot about me.

"Hey," I said sighing as I sat down. I took my shoes off and rolled my eyes as Portia pointed a finger at me. My feet were killing me and every time I sat I was taking my shoes off, she'd just have to deal. This was my party.

"Feet hurt," Sadie said smiling. "You know Jude, if you'd wear other shoes besides tennis shoes or those combat boots you seem to love lately, your feet wouldn't hurt in heels."

"Never going to happen," I said smiling at another guest.

"Jude wouldn't be Jude if she started dressing like you Sades," Spied commented earning my eternal gratitude. Or at least my gratitude for the next five minutes.

"Jude," Kwest said looking at his watch. "You need to take the stage in ten minutes."

"Does the birthday girl ever get a break?" I asked making everybody chuckle around me. I leaned back relaxing for the first time since my party had begun. The last week had been non stop with constant interviews and Darius making sure I got all the exposure he thought I deserved. Personally I think it was a bit much.

All week he'd kept me pretty busy which probably had to do with the fact that Tommy never called. He didn't e-mail. He didn't even acknowledge the Grammy performance. Sadie was the only voice of reason who liked to say whenever anybody brought him up, "maybe he didn't watch the Grammy's."

But everybody knew he had. There was no way in hell that Tom Quincy could have stopped himself from watching me that night. If he cared for me as much as he admitted to than he would have had to watch. Not only as somebody who cares about me but as my producer. He would have wanted to see me win.

"What song are you singing?" Callie asked breaking into my thoughts.

I smiled and looked at Kwest who was also smiling. "The newest song I wrote with help from my newest favorite producer."

"Temporary producer," Kwest reminded me.

"Temporary producer," I repeated. Darius was giving him to me on loan but if Tommy didn't come back soon Darius was going to assign a new producer since Kwest already had a full plate. "It's a surprise."

"C'mon," Callie whined but she winked to let me know she was kidding. I think she already had a little idea since Kwest was her producer also, he probably told her a little bit.

"Happy Birthday Jude," another guest said prompting another wave and a thank you. I was starting to develop the Miss America wave and I swore that never again would I wave like that.

"So what did Mom and Dad send you?" Sadie asked after a moment of silence had gone by.

"Dad actually sent a birthday card with a gift certificate to that little clothing spot we found last year," I said making Sadie laugh.

"You mean Yvonne sent it," Sadie said knowing our father would never step foot in that little store.

"And Mom sent me nothing," I admitted still smarting from that insult.

"Maybe it's in the mail," Callie offered hopefully.

"It's not," I said shaking my head. "I think I've completely severed that relationship. I'm pretty sure I don't have a Mom anymore."

"Don't say that," Sadie said sitting up in surprise.

"It's true Sadie," I said softly. "She doesn't approve of me and I sure as hell don't approve of her. I think it's okay."

Sadie stared at me and I didn't look away. I needed her to see that I was truly okay with it. I wasn't that immature teenager anymore. I was finally a grown woman, legally and mentally. I was okay.

"You've really grown up," she said finally pulling me into a hug.

"I'm glad somebody's finally noticing it," I joked joining everybody when they started laughing. I looked over at Darius and he motioned to the stage and I just nodded and turned to my family. "Wish me luck."

"You don't need it!" Spied yelled making everybody laugh again.

As I made my way towards the stage I nodded at some more of the guests but I took the stage by myself with just my guitar as accompaniment. I took my time getting situated with the stool and microphone. I made sure my guitar was tuned before finally smiling at the crowd of faces staring up at me.

"I just want to thank everybody for coming out and celebrating my birthday with me," I said. "It's a big one and I am glad to be spending it with all of you." I strummed my guitar again before continuing. "The song I chose to sing is a personal one. I wrote it for all the people in my life that I need to say thank you to. It's called Thankful."

_You know my soul  
you know everything about me there's to know  
you know my heart  
how to make me stop & how to make me go  
you should know I love everything  
about you don't you know  
_

I saw Sadie wiping away tears and Kwest wrap his arms around her. She'd finally found a guy that loved her and I mean truly loved her. Kwest had been in the background, patiently waiting for his moment and he'd definitely picked the right moment. They were so happy. I smiled at her before closing my eyes to sing the chorus.

_  
that I'm thankful  
for the blessing  
and the lessons that I've learned w/you  
by my side  
that i'm thankful so thankful for the love  
that you keep bringing in my life  
in my life  
Thankful so thankful  
_

Callie winked at me again making me roll eyes. It was nice to see her happy though. Spied was holding one of her hands in both his hands and he stared at her whenever he knew she wasn't looking like she was perfect. It was nice to see him happy too.

_  
You know my thoughts  
before I open up my mouth & try to speak  
you know my dreams  
must be listening when i'm talking in my sleep  
i hope you know  
i love having you around me don't you know  
_

I thought of Tommy as I saw the couples slowly sway to the music. I frowned when I realized we'd never danced with each other. Not that I'm a big dancer but slow dancing doesn't seem too difficult. I'm sure I could pull it off.

_  
that i'm thankful for the blessing  
and the lessons that i've learned w/you  
by my side  
that i'm thankful so thankful for the love  
that you keep bringing in my life in my life  
_

Okay so maybe I am horrible at dancing and I'd probably bruise his toes but I'm sure I would eventually get the hang of it. But that's not the point, the point is there is so much we haven't done together. We've never gotten our date. I know next to nothing about his family…well…until recently that is. We've never gotten to celebrate any major holidays with each other…besides my birthday which is the biggest holiday of all.

_  
Don't you know that i'm thankful for the moment  
when i'm down you always know how to make me smile  
thankful for the moments & the joy that your bringing to my life  
_

I looked around the crowd again and stumbled over the words when I looked into those familiar eyes that had been haunting me for the past week. He'd came, except he wasn't smiling or frowning. He was just standing there, at the back of the room, staring at me.

_  
for the lessons that i've learned  
for the trouble i've known  
for the heartache & pain  
that you've thrown my way  
when i didn't think i could go on  
but you made me feel strong  
with you I am never alone  
thankful so thankful  
_

I looked away and tried to concentrate on the words. I could see Kwest staring at me in confusion, I'd messed up some of the words and was a little off the rhythm. Why did he have to walk in right in the middle of a performance?

_  
thankful for the blessing  
and the lessons that i've learned w/you  
by my side  
that i'm thankful so thankful for the love  
that you keep bringing in my life in my life  
thankful so thankful  
_

I took a deep breath before finishing the song with a strong finish. I knew Darius would want to talk to me and I could already see Kwest making his way towards the stage but I had somebody else that I needed to talk to.

_  
when I'm down you always know how to make me smile  
thankful for the joys that your bringing to my life  
thankful so thankful_

"Thank you," I said setting my guitar down. I made my way off the stage shaking hands with everybody who congratulated me again for my Grammy. I made my way back towards the studio where I last saw Tommy. I think it's safe to say, he watched me on the Grammy's.


	34. Chapter 34

**Here it is everybody. The last chapter. I'm sad to see the story ending but with the new season, I want to be able to embrace the new story line they have going. I hope you like it, it went in a completely direction than I had planned but that's the way it works sometimes. I like the ending and I hope you do too. I just wanted to thank everybody who has reviewed and everybody who didn't. I'm glad people really enjoyed this story. And don't worry, I'll be back with another one. :)**

**R and R people, for the last time please!!!!!**

**Chapter 34**

I walked into the studio and shut the door behind me, flipping the lock so we wouldn't be disturbed. I stared at the back of Tommy's head wracking my brain for something to say. I wanted to sound calm, cool, collected, anything but pathetic. No one was more surprised than me with what came out of my mouth.

"I'm a train wreck," I said leaning back against the door. He didn't turn to look at me or even acknowledge I said anything. Just stood there staring off into space. "My life is a freakin soap opera with one bad choice after another. But I don't think any of my choices have been as bad as meeting my stalker slash blackmailer slash psycho."

Tommy finally turned around to look at me but once again didn't say a word. I stared at him mentally trying to tell him to say something…anything but he just stared at me. Which of course made me start to ramble.

"I think my train wreck of a life started when I won Instant Star," I said thoughtfully. "No, it probably started when I dated Shay and that's when I started making it into all the tabloids. Then I lay low for awhile but soon of course I'm back in them when I defy Darius and get suspended. But if that wasn't bad enough, my mom and dad divorce and basically abandon my sister and I leaving us to stumble along on our own. I then decide to escape my train wreck of a life when…well you know…and I get sucked in by a psycho."

"You're not a train wreck," he finally said and I smiled sadly.

"No but it sure is pathetic," I mumbled taking a seat on the couch.

"Says the girl who just one a Grammy?" Tommy said sitting down beside me.

"It was almost surreal," I said after a moment of silence had gone by. "I never thought I'd actually win. I mean, I've dreamt about winning a Grammy since my Dad bought me my first guitar. I've even imagined how it would be but it was nothing like I imagined." I leaned back into the couch and turned my head so I was looking at Tommy. "The only thing missing was you. I really wish you could have been there with me."

"I watched you that night," Tommy admitted turning his head so he was facing me. "You were beautiful and you handled it like a pro."

"Sadie said I am a pro now," I said rolling my eyes. "I don't feel like a pro. I'm just waiting for the next catastrophe to come my way."

"When it does you'll handle it," Tommy said seriously.

I stared into his eyes and wished that I had the courage to just lean forward and kiss him. I hated that there was this distance between us but I had caused it and I didn't know how to fix it. I'd already sang a song that told him exactly how I feel but I didn't know if that was enough.

"I missed you Tommy," I said softly.

"I missed you too," he said smiling. He looked down at his hands as he added, "I was so worried when I left that day Jude. I just kept picturing you meeting Josh and something happening."

"Nothing happened, I was perfectly fine."

"It was still stupid," he said honestly.

"You're right," I said nodding my head. "But I can't go back and change my choice that day."

"But if you could…"

"I would," I admitted. "It was stupid for me to go there. It didn't matter why he did what he did. I let it matter to much to me and I did put myself in a dangerous position but it's over. Nothing happened and it's over."

Tommy nodded his head and took a deep breath. "Jude…about that song-"

"Jude," Darius said knocking on the door. He tried opening it but it was locked. "Jude Harrison, you can't just abandon your guests at your birthday party."

"They're your guests," I grumbled but I stood up and made my way towards the door. I turned around and smiled sadly at Tommy. "I hope we can finish this later." I was about to flip the lock when I looked back at him one more time. "I meant every word in that song Tommy."

I could feel his eyes burning a hole into my back as I walked out of the door. I shut it behind me as I followed Darius back into the heart of the party. I didn't know if Tommy wanted everybody to know he was back, if he even was back. I still didn't know what his showing up meant and I glared at Darius for interrupting us.

"What?" Darius asked confused.

"Nothing," I said smiling at another guest who walked up to me.

"So Jude," Portia said walking up so she was standing beside me. "How does it feel to be eighteen?"

"Not that different from seventeen," I admitted taking a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. I didn't really like the taste but I wanted something in my hands and it was the only thing on his tray.

"Except now you can date who you want," she said smirking.

"I could date who I wanted before too," I said staring at her in surprise.

"Now you can without repercussions," she pointed out.

"So," I said a little confused about where this was going. Portia wasn't exactly my best friend but I thought we were at least friendly. But tonight she wasn't acting like she was my friend.

"Let me tell you a little something before you go running off to your producer," she said draining the rest of her glass of champagne. "He's going to break your heart."

"Portia," Darius said finally tuning into what his sister was saying.

"It's okay Darius," I said shaking my head. I stared at her and my sympathy won out. "I'm sorry he broke your heart. I can't say that I'm sorry you aren't together because that would be a lie."

"He's going to break yours," Portia said but finally let herself be led away by Darius.

"Somebody had a little too much to drink," Callie said from behind me.

"Yeah," I said smiling sadly. I took a sip of the Champaign but made a face at the taste. I could really go for some Pepsi right about now.

"Happy Birthday Jude," Spied said into the microphone. I whipped around surprised to find him and SME on the stage with Spied taking the lead. I looked at Callie who was smiling.

"You knew about this," I said as they started playing. I froze when I heard the first verse.

_Pretty girl is suffering,  
while he confesses everything  
Pretty soon she'll figure out  
what his intentions were about  
_

I smiled but jumped when somebody tapped my shoulder. I turned around and opened my mouth in surprise. Tommy was standing in front of me holding his hand out and I just stared at him like an idiot.

_  
And that's what you get for falling again  
you can never get him outta your head  
And that's what you get for falling again  
you can never get him outta your head  
_

"Wanna dance," he said after a moment had gone by with me just staring at him.

I looked at Callie who looked like she was going to cry as I placed my hand in his. He walked me out to the middle of the dance floor and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waste. Soon we were swaying to the music with everybody staring at us.

_  
chorus:  
Its the way that he makes you feel  
its the way that he kisses you  
its the way that he makes you fall in love  
_

I could see Sadie staring at me and she looked worried. I tried to tell her with my eyes that I was okay. That this is what I wanted and that even if nothing came from this dance…at least I could say I danced with Tommy.

_  
She's beautiful as usual  
with bruises on her ego and  
her killer instinct tells her to  
be aware of evil men  
_

I laid my head down on his chest and smiled when he wrapped his arms around me tighter. I didn't know what was going through his head but I knew that this was probably the happiest moment of my life.

_  
And that's what you get for falling again  
you can never get him outta your head  
And that's what you get for falling again  
you can never get him outta your head  
_

"I love you Jude," Tommy whispered in my ear.

_  
Pretty girl  
Pretty girl  
Pretty girl is suffering  
while he confesses everything  
pretty soon she'll figure out  
you can never get him outta your head  
_

It took about thirty seconds for what he said to sink in and then I was pulling back 'til I could look into his eyes. The tears started falling before I had any chance of trying to control them. But at least this time they were happy tears.

_  
its the way that he makes you cry  
its the way that he's in your mind  
its the way that he makes you fall in love  
_

"I love you too," I admitted softly and watched as he relaxed. I couldn't believe he didn't know. I swear it was in my eyes every time I looked into the mirror.

_  
Its the way that he makes you feel  
its the way that he kisses you  
its the way that he makes you fall in love, love_

I could hear the crowd start whispering as Tommy leaned down and publicly announced our feelings. I can't say that I cared that everybody was watching us kiss. At that moment I was totally wrapped into the feelings running through me. Man could Tommy kiss. I don't know how long it went on but I could hear Spied yelling from the stage for us to get a room so it must have been quiet awhile.

"Wow," I said resting my forehead on his chest.

"Yeah," Tommy said taking a deep breath. He lifted my head up gently and placed a chaste kiss upon my lips before he took my hand and we made our way off the dance floor.

I could see Darius smiling and he just nodded and I knew that we wouldn't be getting any criticism from him.

"Geez you guys," Callie said wrapping her arm around my shoulders. "Took you long enough."

"Whatever," I said knowing my face was turning red.

"Jude!" somebody called from behind us. I turned around and wanted to groan when I saw one of the few reporters Darius had invited to the party. I didn't want to have to answer any questions tonight. I just wanted to sit with Tommy and revel in the fact that he loved me. I still couldn't believe it but when I looked into his eyes I knew it was true.

I watched as Darius stepped into the path of the reporter and started steering him in another direction and I smiled. Darius was truly turning out to be an entirely different person than I perceived him to be.

"Let's go," I said suddenly. I started pulling Tommy towards the back door.

"Jude your party," Tommy said.

"I'm done here," I said smiling at him. "I already got my present."

He smiled too and soon we were kissing again. I couldn't believe how addicted I already was to his kisses. I didn't want to stop.

"Ahem," Callie said. "If you plan on escaping you might want to go…now."

I nodded and soon Tommy and I were running through the rain towards my Mustang. Once we were both in the car and I pulled the spare key out of the hidden compartment Callie and I had found one day; Tommy and I started kissing again. I guess you could say we had a lot of wasted time to make up for.


End file.
